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I have a surgery date of 2/22 in TJ and am totally obsessed with VSG. I think about it before I fall asleep, as soon as I wake up and all day long. My husband can't go with me because of our 4 kids (even though one of my kids is 18, the rest need parental supervision and I would hate to get a call from their school, or worse, and we're out of country!). It's almost bittersweet that my husband can't go. On one hand, we've never been that far from each other and I will miss him so much. I'm anxious about having surgery and managing travel alone. I've never been on a plane before and worry about managing things, especially after surgery. But on the other hand, I need time out from home and feel like surgery will be a way to rejuvenate myself....physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc.

But because he's not going, my husband seems irritated when I talk about surgery and everything that comes with it. He doesn't have a weight issue and can't really relate to this obsession I have. I haven't told anybody else about my decision. I had mentioned to my mom that I was considering WLS, but she was not supportive (never really is about many things I do) and told me I can do loose the weight without surgery. I haven't told anybody except my husband because I'm nearly 40 years old and think I can make decisions when it comes to my life without the input of others....well, mostly I don't want to hear their opinion on the matter.

Even if I lost all of my weight tomorrow, I would still want VSG because I have never really had longer term success. I mean, I'm leaving the majority of my stomach in Mexico, so I'm thinking it might be hard for it to ever find me again. I've become obsessed with VST because I feel like this is the only place I can find the support I need.

But I just want my surgery date to hurry up and get here. VSG seems to consume my every waking thought!

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I understand how you feel about being consumed with thinking about this! I originally wasn't going to have surgery until March 22, but I was luckily able to move it up to Jan. 17 and if I hadn't, I probably would have literally gone crazy before then. As it is, I'm hardly sleeping and I'm on this site at all hours. I am so ready to have a new start that I want it yesterday. Now that my date is less than 2 weeks away, I am able to be a little calmer about it. Overall, I'd say it's worse than being a kid waiting for Christmas to come.

I wish I had good advice for you about your husband. Do you think it's the fact that he can't go or that he's worried about what else will change when your appearance changes? A lot of husbands/boyfriends seem to get insecure about their partners' weight loss, but maybe there is some way you can reassure him? Find out what his fears are and talk to him about why this is important to you and try to get him to understand that something so life-changing is bound to consume your thoughts? Luckily, my bf is more supportive and as the surgery date approaches, he has been asking more and more questions, so I am able to talk to him about it some, but I haven't told many people either, so this site is kind of my only outlet to talk about these feelings and thoughts I'm having about WLS.

I know it seems far away now, but your date will be here before you know it. In the meantime, maybe work on smoothing things over with your husband and do other things to help pass the time, like shop for Protein shakes and other things you'll need post-op. It's also a good idea to start an exercise regimen if you don't already have one. Best of luck to you!

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I understand how you feel about being consumed with thinking about this! I originally wasn't going to have surgery until March 22, but I was luckily able to move it up to Jan. 17 and if I hadn't, I probably would have literally gone crazy before then. As it is, I'm hardly sleeping and I'm on this site at all hours. I am so ready to have a new start that I want it yesterday. Now that my date is less than 2 weeks away, I am able to be a little calmer about it. Overall, I'd say it's worse than being a kid waiting for Christmas to come.

I wish I had good advice for you about your husband. Do you think it's the fact that he can't go or that he's worried about what else will change when your appearance changes? A lot of husbands/boyfriends seem to get insecure about their partners' weight loss, but maybe there is some way you can reassure him? Find out what his fears are and talk to him about why this is important to you and try to get him to understand that something so life-changing is bound to consume your thoughts? Luckily, my bf is more supportive and as the surgery date approaches, he has been asking more and more questions, so I am able to talk to him about it some, but I haven't told many people either, so this site is kind of my only outlet to talk about these feelings and thoughts I'm having about WLS.

I know it seems far away now, but your date will be here before you know it. In the meantime, maybe work on smoothing things over with your husband and do other things to help pass the time, like shop for Protein shakes and other things you'll need post-op. It's also a good idea to start an exercise regimen if you don't already have one. Best of luck to you!

Thanx for the response. My husband is very supportive, but I think he's just irritated by the fact that even though we have an adult son who, if he was more responsible, could watch his brother and 2 sisters while we're gone. When we met, I was in pretty good shape, working out quite a bit, etc. So I don't think he's insecure about anything.

I even have the VST app on my phone and check things in the middle of the night. Nuts. I really want to learn as much as I can before surgery, but its getting a little overwhelming.

Are you having surgery here in the states or are you making a run for the border too?

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The obsession is normal! I started this journey in February, 2012 and have been obsessed ever since and i am scheduled for surgery 1/9! I honestly dont have any advice for you other then maybe Skype. If you can download it to your phone or bring a lap top with you it may help with the seperation anxiety. Just think about how much better your life will be when you return home! You will be relaxed and will be starting the new you!

Good luck to you!

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The obsession is normal! I started this journey in February, 2012 and have been obsessed ever since and i am scheduled for surgery 1/9! I honestly dont have any advice for you other then maybe Skype. If you can download it to your phone or bring a lap top with you it may help with the seperation anxiety. Just think about how much better your life will be when you return home! You will be relaxed and will be starting the new you!

Good luck to you!

Wow! Around the corner. Good luck to you as well!

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Thanx for the response. My husband is very supportive, but I think he's just irritated by the fact that even though we have an adult son who, if he was more responsible, could watch his brother and 2 sisters while we're gone. When we met, I was in pretty good shape, working out quite a bit, etc. So I don't think he's insecure about anything.

I even have the VST app on my phone and check things in the middle of the night. Nuts. I really want to learn as much as I can before surgery, but its getting a little overwhelming.

Are you having surgery here in the states or are you making a run for the border too?

I am also having surgery in TJ, with Dr. Elias Ortiz. I am also travelling alone.

I also meant to tell you not to be scared about flying. I would advise you to get wheelchair service for your return flight. I fully intend to have them wheel me through the airport and to lift my bag for me. I've been flying since I was 2, so if you have any specific questions about it, just let me know.

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Good luck on your upcoming surgery. I'm coming up on two years out, but I still remember like yesterday the first time I found this board and the nervous journey to surgery. Take time to explore past topics to get some great advice on what to bring to the hospital, what to buy for at home post-op, and things to do to make it easier on yourself.

For me, some of the best tips were:

  • Get house and and everything ready.
  • Buy recommended Vitamins and start taking them pre-op.
  • Give up coffee before surgery. You won't be able to drink much after surgery and a caffeine withdrawal is easier to handle pre-op when you only have to worry about that.
  • Never trust a fart post-op. Have spare comfy clothes just in case.
  • Practice sipping Water all day.
  • Practice eating slowly. One minute between each bite.
  • Get a small spoon, such as a demitasse spoon or a baby spoon. Dig out your small dishes.
  • Buy yourself some small treats, such a nice lip gloss and hand lotion.

Lynda

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I think because we have all commited to such a HUGE decision, we really want to see it thru the right way and be as prepared and informed as possible, so we meet here in a common bond!! I wish us all luck and I think our obsession isn't on eating food anymore and now our focus is on making things better and healthier and what a good, positive feeling!! :)

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    • BabySpoons

      Sometimes reading the posts here make me wonder if some people just weren't mentally ready for WLS and needed more time with the bariatric team psychiatrist. Complaining about the limited drink/food choices early on... blah..blah...blah. The living to eat mentality really needs to go and be replaced with eating to live. JS
      · 2 replies
      1. Bypass2Freedom

        We have to remember that everyone moves at their own pace. For some it may be harder to adjust, people may have other factors at play that feed into the unhealthy relationship with food e.g. eating disorders, trauma. I'd hope those who you are referring to address this outside of this forum, with a professional.


        This is a place to feel safe to vent, seek advice, hopefully without judgement.


        Compassion goes a long way :)

      2. BabySpoons

        Seems it would be more compassionate not to perform a WLS on someone until they are mentally ready for it. Unless of course they are on death's door...

    • Theweightisover2024🙌💪

      Question for anyone, how did you get your mind right before surgery? Like as far as eating better foods and just doing better in general? I'm having a really hard time with this. Any help is appreciated 🙏❤️
      · 2 replies
      1. NickelChip

        I had about 6 months between deciding to do surgery and getting scheduled. I came across the book The Pound of Cure by Dr. Matthew Weiner, a bariatric surgeon in Arizona, and started to implement some of the changes he recommended (and lost 13 lbs in the process without ever feeling deprived). The book is very simple, and the focus is on whole, plant based foods, but within reason. It's not an all or nothing approach, or going vegan or something, but focuses on improvement and aiming for getting it right 80-90% of the time. His suggestions are divided into 12 sections that you can tackle over time, perhaps one per month for a year if a person is just trying to improve nutrition and build good habits. They range from things like cutting out artificial sweetener or eating more beans to eating a pound of vegetables per day. I found it really effective pre-surgery and it's an eating style I will be working to get back to as I am further out from surgery and have more capacity. Small changes you can sustain will do the most for building good habits for life.

      2. Theweightisover2024🙌💪

        That sounds awesome. I'll have to check that out thanks!

    • BeanitoDiego

      I've hit a stall 9 months out. I'm not worried, though. My fitness levels continue to improve and I have nearly accomplished my pre-surgery goal of learning to scuba dive! One dive left to complete to get my PADI card 🐠
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      Just for fun last week, I ran two 5Ks in two days, something I would have never done in the past! Next goal is a 10K before the end of this month.
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