Hating Myself & Afraid Less than 6 Weeks Out...Long Post...Needing Support

[DanaInNewOrleans 513]

Yikes! Week 1 is only Water?? I was on clears for 2 weeks, but that included broth, diluted apple juice, diluted gatorade, SF Jello... how did you not collapse? I have to say, yours is the most restrictive program I've heard of.

Yes, by far the most restrictive. My first week included Jello, broth, popsicles, sugar free fudge bars. Yikes. How did you do the first week? I think I would have lost my mind with just water...

[Katie713 423]

It seems like people here have one of 2 problems...either they can barely hold anything down or they can eat just about anything they want. Either way' date=' it is really hard. Note that in my original post I sais that it took me 4 hours to eat 10 chicken nuggets & have my drink. That's half a work day! I had to take very small bites, chew very well & take a lot of breaks. Totally the wrong thing to do to myself. I am glad this page helped you, though. This is a HUGE adjustment for all of us. I am just glad to have found so much support when I posted about being so down myself. We'll get there...I don't know when, but we will. [/quote']

Not sure when you had surgery, but I can safely say that a more balanced diet will help you immensely. Give it a go. Go with soft Protein choices and let yourself get into the mode. You don't need to cheat with nuggets, make a delicious Protein shake with powder, fat free milk and SF Torani Syrup, maybe a splash of coffee for that frap taste. Love cottage cheese with fruit for Breakfast, high protein and soft. Canned pears are low in carbs. I allow about 50 grams of carbs.

Open your mind and heart. We are here to help.

[deedeemuffin 346]

Yes, by far the most restrictive. My first week included Jello, broth, popsicles, sugar free fudge bars. Yikes. How did you do the first week? I think I would have lost my mind with just water...

It was almost like losing my mind. I was a total space cadet. I couldn't drive, because I couldn't concentrate. It was awful. Never again!

[BeccaDawn 36]

I haven't had my surgery yet, but what has kept me on track to lose the preop weight is logging on My Fitness Pal. I usually plan my day by logging in what I plan to have for the day. That way it breaks down the nutritional info for me. If my calories or carbs are way over, or Protein is way under, then I can make adjustments. It requires some planning and a little work, but it has shocked me to see which foods are causing me to sabotage my weightloss. It will also allow for you to be able to add in some "treats" when you are under the max calories or carbs. There is a lot of people on there that have been sleeved and they are super supportive! Also, finding recipes to make healthier versions of things you like might be a good way to keep the head hunger away. These are all the things I've got lined up to keep me on track after my surgery in 10 days! Best of luck to you and remember tomorrow is a new day and a chance to begin again! You can be successful if you allow yourself to be! :-)

[deedeemuffin 346]

Not sure when you had surgery, but I can safely say that a more balanced diet will help you immensely. Give it a go. Go with soft Protein choices and let yourself get into the mode. You don't need to cheat with nuggets, make a delicious Protein shake with powder, fat free milk and SF Torani Syrup, maybe a splash of coffee for that frap taste. Love cottage cheese with fruit for Breakfast, high protein and soft. Canned pears are low in carbs. I allow about 50 grams of carbs.

Open your mind and heart. We are here to help.

My surgery was November 27th. So, as of Tuesday I will be 6 weeks out. I have been cleared for all foods...even solid meats. My office is so anti-milk, though. It's weird. They want my Protein shakes to be either RTD or made with Water & less than 4 grams of carbs per shake. I think the shake you make sounds great. I think that I am going to give it a go with more "real" foods. I will use healthy options, though. I think that I am less likely to cheat if I am having more reasonable food choices. I see my NUT again in 2 weeks so, I think that I will give it a try until then & see how my body responds. I am also returning to Yoga tomorrow which I love. Thanks for being here to help!

[BeccaDawn 36]

I'm Akin4Goal on My Fitness Pal btw! Feel free to friend me!:-)

[deedeemuffin 346]

I haven't had my surgery yet, but what has kept me on track to lose the preop weight is logging on My Fitness Pal. I usually plan my day by logging in what I plan to have for the day. That way it breaks down the nutritional info for me. If my calories or carbs are way over, or Protein is way under, then I can make adjustments. It requires some planning and a little work, but it has shocked me to see which foods are causing me to sabotage my weightloss.

Great tip, thanks! I will check this out tomorrow!

[katikati 127]

Deedee, thank you so much for opening your heart and sharing all of this. My surgery is in about two weeks, and I NEED to read things like this, just as I need to read the success stories and tips. Your honesty and transparency are helping me so much right now. I know myself very well, and your post could very easily be mine in a couple of months. Especially since I've eaten and enjoyed that very meal you described many times in the last year. Not only are you helping me see how important it is to get my head in the right place now, but you've also shown me that when I slip up (because I know I will), the very best thing I can do for myself is talk about it and ask for help. Thank you for setting such a good example. Oh, also, your boyfriend's words to you and his gift of sending you to yoga totally made me tear up. He sounds wonderful. I want one of him!

[chitowngirl 885]

Deedee, sorry that your are struggling. I personally don't care for Protein drinks and never really relied on them for my source of Protein. I would agree with most other posters here that your surgeons diet is very unrealistic. The goal of the sleeve is to help incorporate healthy long term eating habits. I don't feel drinking meal substitution twice a day is in any way healthy. Ultimately it is your body and you know what is best for you. There are ways to get high protein and low carbs for Breakfast with out drinking Protein Drinks. For example I eat 2 boiled egg whites and a turkey sausage for breakfast. It fills me up and I get over 20g of protein.

There are so many doctors who are relatively new to the bariatric surgery field and I have found that their policies evolve over time, as they see trends in what works and what doesn't. I say this out of experience as I was previously a bariatric coordinator. I would make better decisions in your food choices and document your food and when you go see your nut/surgeon show them that you are capable of making good food choices. They may actually be giving patients such a restricted diet because they feel patients are not capable of making smart decisions. Best of luck, and trust your gut, if you feel their diet is not working for you don hesitate to modify it to your needs. Please keep updated.

[busybeingme 112]

I know it's easier said than done... But start walking... Start exercising get moving... Remember with out the proper amount of liquids your body will retain all that you put into it because your not giving it enough... Also...Find a support group. Face to face... You will get some of the encouragement and also some tricks that will help.

Te chicken nuggets, and the flavored coffee drinks are yummy yes... But they are empty calories and they are not what your body needs... Give your self a pat on the back for taking the first step... Admitting you need a little help.

Next, pull your shoulders back, chin up, chest out and Celebrate your weight loss. Everyone is is different. You will see the biggest change in weight at 3 months that is due to full healing and full swelling being gone.... Go back to the basics...remember you will be able to enjoy all the foods you want and like again... Just not for a bit... Relax and smile... Keep us posted!!

[Jen35 283]

I'm so glad that you posted this - I know it wasn't easy to open up about what is going on. I am pre-op so I don't have a lot of advice about the post-op part except to agree that this is a very strict post-op diet. I don't think I could follow those restrictions. Definitely talk to the nutritionist to see what you can do to make it work for you. That being said, you already know what not to do . It's just really hard - I know.

However, I can completely relate to the thoughts going on in your head. I have issues with self-esteem, hating myself, not feeling good enough, etc. That's one of the reasons I eat. I'm seeing a therapist and working on these issues. It's really hard but worth it. One thing she told me: If I don't love myself now, how will losing weight change that? I need to accept myself now, love me NOW. If I don't, I won't treat myself well. She had me list all the things I like about myself physically (that was hard!) and personality - those things won't change when I'm thinner. I read that list everyday and I am starting to accept those parts of myself.

The other thing that I learned: There is a reason I sabotoge myself when I'm trying to lose weight. This goes back to abuse in my childhood/teens. My "fat suit" is my protection from the world. It keeps me at a distance from others and safe (at least in my mind). As much as I want to lose weight, I'm scared. It's scary to change after being this way for so long. That's where counseling is already helping me.

You are not alone. You are not perfect - so don't expect perfection. Do your best each day, and if you mess up, don't hate yourself or give up. Start over with the next choice you make. You are worth the effort to be healthy and you CAN DO THIS! I know you can!

[Katie713 423]

Dee Dee....it's been a few weeks now, I am wondering how you are doing? I am so glad that you got such supportive responses. It is hard to admit when we are struggling, but you know what, most of us struggle at times during this process. I am a slow loser, but after tracking for so long now, I see the pattern. My body holds onto the weight for awhile, then I lose 3-5 lbs overnight. I was going thru my closet this weekend and getting rid of the rest of my larger sizes and trying stuff on, I had this favorite brown jacket and it was my "small jacket" of all my jackets, I could snap it closed but barely. I thought I could get a few more wears out of it, and as I slipped it on and the jacket wrapped from side to side...the buttons under my armpits...I had that NSV my little private reminder that I am so much smaller. Lately the scale isn't moving...and I started to think that I was the same size I was before....I still have weight to lose and have my tummy fat to contend with you see....but I allowed myself to realize that I am already a success with my healthier me campaign!!! I am doing it .....and so are YOU !!

[deedeemuffin 346]

Deedee, thank you so much for opening your heart and sharing all of this. My surgery is in about two weeks, and I NEED to read things like this, just as I need to read the success stories and tips. Your honesty and transparency are helping me so much right now. I know myself very well, and your post could very easily be mine in a couple of months. Especially since I've eaten and enjoyed that very meal you described many times in the last year. Not only are you helping me see how important it is to get my head in the right place now, but you've also shown me that when I slip up (because I know I will), the very best thing I can do for myself is talk about it and ask for help. Thank you for setting such a good example. Oh, also, your boyfriend's words to you and his gift of sending you to yoga totally made me tear up. He sounds wonderful. I want one of him!

I do hope that this post will help you & anyone else who might be struggling in the future. As for the boyfriend, it took me a LONG time to find a guy like that. I kissed a lot of frogs first!

[deedeemuffin 346]

I really appreciate the feedback from everyone. I know a lot of people have been wondering how I have been doing. I am sorry that I haven't followed up. I actually have not even been on the website for over a week. I got a call last Tuesday morning that my grandfather had a major stroke & would not survive the night. I spent the better part of the next 6 days at the hospital even staying overnight some nights. Finally on Sunday (6 days later than the Dr. predicted & on his 83rd birthday) my grandfather passed away. On Sunday family stood around his bed & sang Happy Birthday. About 5 minutes later he took his last breath. Yesterday I did absolutely nothing all day. I was so exhausted. I have not been taking care of myself at all. I have not been getting in my Protein or my Water. I didn't eat poorly. I just didn't eat or drink much at all. I am physically weak & definitely retaining Fluid from not hydrating & getting my TOM 2 days ago. Today starts a new school semester for me. I am going back to school for the first time in a long time. Right now I am just so sad & very overwhelmed. I know that I need to take better care of myself. I wish that I had some better news for everyone who has been so encouraging. As soon as I do, I will certainly post it on the boards. This week I need to concentrate on getting back into learning mode for school & getting on a regular eating & drinking schedule. My weight is down this week, but I feel like I would have lost more if I took care of myself. Tomorrow is a new day & I live to keep on pressing on.

[Tiffany Talbert Corbet 46]

Dee Dee,

You are only 5 weeks post op? Oh, please don't be so hard on yourself. At 5 weeks I was finally moving onto soft foods and mushies. I was not restricted like you are to Protein shakes. I was encouraged to drink them for the Protein intake, but to be honest, I just can't STAND those nasty things. I'm 9 1/2 weeks post-surgery and down 44 lbs. I don't check this board very much any longer simply because I don't need the posts to discourage me. This is MY journey and comparing myself to others is just NOT healthy. While it's good to hear their journey to find out what you might encounter on your journey, comparing yourself to them will cause insanity. God made you an individual and different for a reason. Your journey is yours, not mine, not anyone else's and you should be proud of yours alone.

Do you have a support system? I'm SO blessed to have a loving (albeit onery) husband who is supportive and encouraging about my progress. He works out with me every night at the YMCA. He's always asking me each week how much I've lost this week, and is good about telling me he can see the change. I have a hard time seeing it because I'm so used to seeing my flabby body in the mirror, even 44 lbs down, I don't see much of a change.

Please be good to yourself. I'm not a coffee drinker, so I don't know this answer, but can you have the frappe in a skinny or sugar-free? The biggest challenge is to keep the sugar out of your diet. It's not the fat that is bad for you. When you eat fat, if your body can't use it, it wil purge it. If you eat sugar your body doesn't need, it will store it as fat for use as insulin later. This was a hard lesson for me to learn, but I'm slowly getting there.

I have found that eating protein first fills you up so fast, veggies and carbs aren't even an option. I'm learning that when I reach about 200 cals in my meal, I'm about done...more than that and I can really feel the restriction and become very uncomfortable. When that happens, I stop and wait. If I hiccup within 30 sec to a minute later...I know I'm done eating.

Listen to your body. It will tell you what it needs. Be sure to turn up the volume on your body and down in your head. Your brain does NOT know what's best for you any more.

I know this is probably just a bunch of rambling, and if so, I'm sorry. Please know that there are those of us out here for you. I'm happy to be a source of support if you need it. Send me a message, email me, and feel free to vent, cry, scream, question, kick, ramble, etc. Most of all, remember this journey is about you and the best way for YOU to get to YOUR goal....not anyone else's.