Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

How do I tell him or should I bother?



Recommended Posts

I'm 6 months post op, 15 pounds from my ultimate goal, met a guy last month and we've been seeing each other pretty regularly. He knows I had surgery, knows I only have part of a stomach, and has seen how little I eat- he seems to be ok with it. He doesn't know what kind or surgery I had, or that I had it to lose weight. He doesn't know that I used to 260 pounds. But now I want to be Facebook friends with him. Most of my pics are the old me so as soon as I FB him, he's going to find out. Should I tell him about the surgery, wait to FB him until later, or just go ahead and not say anything?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would tell him. The more he becomes a part of your life the more he is going to discover. It is unfair for him to be caught off guard and have a reaction he would regret.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

here's a guy's perspective..

if it ends up making a difference to him then you'll have to ask yourself if he's really the right kind of guy to be with..

if you're worried about it then tell him. get ahead of the issue, explain, and don't let him generate any ideas on his own before you talk about it.

good luck and congrats on the wl!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just another guys perspective... but in my opinion honesty is always the best policy. Something like this shouldn't matter to him at all, and if it does then I would seriously question that. The past is the past and even in the past you were the same person on the inside that you are today and THAT is what truly matters.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with the other guys. Any man I know wouldn't hold this against you whatsoever, unless he feels you went out of your way to hide it from him. Be proud of your progress and success and he will be proud with you. And if he's not, that should be a red flag to you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you gentlemen and lady! My guy is going to meet my friends this weekend for a hockey game. Ill see what they say about him and ask them if they think he's ready to hear it. On the other hand, I might as well tell him sooner rather than later. I would hate to get attached to find out he can't deal.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Never be anything less than proud..the lack of confidence is more unattractive than being heavy

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thought I'd give an update. I told him last night about the weight loss and he'd already starting adding up the facts on his own-the half of a stomach, the tiny meals-so it wasn't a surprise. He was impressed when I told him how much-126-127. I did earn myself a little spanking because my deep, dark secret wasn't. ;-)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Bashbee91

      Hey guys new to the process looking forward to this new life. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Bugg

      Hi everyone! I’m brand new here. I just went through all my pre-op requirements per my insurance company and now everything has been submitted and I’m just waiting for final approval and my surgery date. I’ve been doing research, watching YouTube videos, TikTok’s, ect.. trying to prepare my mind and what to expect so I’ll be ready for the surgery. I was so sure and so set and so ready and excited. However, now that I’ve done everything & it’s almost here, I am sooooooo scared! I know why I want it bc I’ve tried everything and I just don’t feel like I can lose weight by myself. I’m tired of being overweight my entire life. I’m miserable, but I keep psyching myself out afraid of GERD bc I know how that can be and I don’t want to have to get a bypass after already gaining the courage to even get VSG. I’m scared of complications like I’mgoing to regret doing it and be depressed that I didn’t just be more disciplined and try again to lose the weight on my own even sitting here typing this knowing in my mind i just can’t and don’t possess the discipline. I’m also afraid I won’t be able to handle the restrictions of the sleeve. What do I eat? I don’t know how to eat healthy really and don’t enjoy healthy food. I don’t know how to do this! I feel so defeated!Someone tell me they felt anything similar to this or am I not ready? I thought I was. I am so tired of being sick and tired and so tired of myself and so tired of being stuck and stuck in this body and somebody different on the outside from what I feel inside. I just want to ball up and cry.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • buildabetteranna

      over 20 lbs down since4 the pre surgery diet and surgery on the 14th
      · 1 reply
      1. Selina333

        Yay!! Congrats. I know how good that feels. 🤩

    • Jenopolis

      Had a sleeve in 2017, lost over 100 pounds. Had a DS surgery this year (2025) for more sustainable weight loss. 🤞
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • buildabetteranna

      The 14th was my day. I am home and recovery is going pretty smooth. They even let me walk out of the hospital. Picture of me in recovery curtesy of my boyfriend lol. 

      · 3 replies
      1. DaisyChainOz

        Glad it went well!! Wishing you a speedy recovery and wonderful success!! 🤗

      2. buildabetteranna

        Thank you ❤️

      3. Selina333

        Neat you have a pic of this day! I was sooo happy to get my surgery. It was well worth it! And I'm not even near my goal. I had surgery Dec. 2!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×