Eating out - What to say to waiters/others

[Teri Barowsky Hooper 22]

What does everyone do when eating out? If I don't order something I feel like a cheapskate. I If I do order something I only eat about 1/4 or it. Then the waiter or friend or whomever I'm with usually asks, "Is there a problem with your dinner? " or "Didn't you like it?" I don't want to go into lengthy discussions about my surgery with people I don't know very well. I don't mind bringing the majority of my dinner home but just feel uncomfortable with the whole situation. How does everyone else handle it?

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

What does everyone do when eating out?

Teri Barowsky Hooper

after i order - i always ask for a "carry out container" to be given to me at same time as i get my food. when i get meal i immediately put the large portion away - usually will last 2-3 more meals.

since food is put away - i don't give waiter the chance to ask any "nosey" questions. "If" he does, i just tell him everything was fine.

if you do go out with a friend and really don't want to order anything, (Soup or something else light) thats ok - but - i would leave an extra tip.

take care

good luck

happy new year

[delta_girl 931]

I order a cup of Soup or an appetizer if there are healthy options for those and just say I'm really not that hungry right now. If you order a regular meal, box it up and take the rest home for another meal or two. You really don't have to explain much to anyone. If the waiter asks if the food was ok, just say it was delecious, thank you,

[vsginnj 415]

I usually just order some kind of high Protein app. And ask for it to be served with everyone else's dinner. I tell anyone who asks why, no shame in my game!!!

[Geminidrive 389]

I make my selection then tell them that I most likely will take the remainder home. If they ask I tell them I had weight loss surgery and I really can't eat much. It's amazing that this could sometimes turn into a teachable moment, I've had a few ask me for additional information on the surgery along with my surgeons name.

[Catracks 865]

I actually had some wait-staff poke fun at me once, but it was all in good fun. I had order this Diced sausage and eggplant with spaghetti entree. I couldn't eat half of it when I had my full stomach. This time I didn't appear that I had touched it at all.

They acted mock-shocked when I refused dessert. They said that they had thought I was saving room for dessert.

I suppose they over-stepped, but I sort of egged them on.

I ate the sauce with the sausage and eggplant for the next week and gave the Pasta to my husband.

Grammy's idea to put it all into a container first thing is good, but I get REALLY odd looks if I do that. I have taken to bringing my own tupperware in my purse or bag. It's not always possible, but it travels and keeps better that way.

[Wolfgirl1978 256]

What does everyone do when eating out? If I don't order something I feel like a cheapskate. I If I do order something I only eat about 1/4 or it. Then the waiter or friend or whomever I'm with usually asks' date=' "Is there a problem with your dinner?" or "Didn't you like it?" I don't want to go into lengthy discussions about my surgery with people I don't know very well. I don't mind bringing the majority of my dinner home but just feel uncomfortable with the whole situation. How does everyone else handle it?[/quote']

I love going out to eat, because I always have 2 days or more worth of left overs! Anyway, when asked if the food was ok when the wait staff sees I only ate a fraction and ask for a box, I always smile and say "it was delicious, thank you." I've never had the conversation go further than that

[enigmachik 403]

I am the type of person that hates personal questions. I'm really introverted and don't like conversations that focus on me so I've always been very private about everything. It's just who I am. For this reason, I have become a master at pushing food around my plate to make it look like I've eaten more than I have. It is not uncommon for people to take half their food home, so when I go out to eat, I subtly push all the leftover food to one side of the plate and clear out a good chunk on the other side to make it look as though I ate about half my food. No one ever questions it. They just ask me if I want to box up the rest and take it home. It saves me from having to have awkward conversations.

[MinaT 669]

I go out to eat a lot.

I've known others that have had the surgery that get bent out of shape if someone brings them Water. They feel they need to make a big fuss over it. I've seen people be rude to the waiters if they are asked didn't you like your meal? It's a question, it's up to the waitstaff to make sure the customer enjoyed their meal, so it's a normal question. I have been asked, I said oh the meal is great, I had a late lunch or late Breakfast. I don't take the question personally, actually I feel that's kind of them to ask, and they are doing their job. Waitstaff are definitely not mind-readers but they also don't need my entire life story or my personal weight history.

The waiters or waitresses bring me Water, I let them. I don't get offended or huffy and tell them to take it away. One of the things I learned the most about myself pre-op and post-op is I AM IN CONTROL, the decision to eat, drink or whatever is up to me, nobody else. If I know I'm going to want to take food home with me, I'll ask for a box with dinner. I don't expect discounts, I don't expect them to give me 1/2 plates. I get what I want to eat and if I don't eat it and don't take it home, it doesn't matter to me. I'm not wealthy, but I learned, just because it's on my plate doesn't mean I need to eat it all. I learned self-control. I learned portion size when I cook myself. I learned just because someone else can eat an entire of plate of food, doesn't mean I can or I have to. I don't need to punish myself by eating everything on the plate, because that's all it is really, punishment by overeating.

Others I have known that have had surgery that have been rude to wait staff since surgery, were the same people I knew that found ways to complain about waitstaff pre-surgery and were always difficult customers lol.

[SerendipityHappens 1,594]

Asking for the container first is GREAT. I've done this for years even with my full size stomach as a deterrent from eating too much and also to keep my left overs "pristine" It's soooo much nicer to have perfectly sliced and portioned left overs to bring to work than stuff that's been picked over and had bites taken out of it!

Also don't be shy about just asking for a plate. When used to go out to eat with my sisters, we would frequently get one meal and one appetizer and split it three or four ways and NONE of us has had WLS- we were just CHEAP!... but cheap as we are, we ALWAYS tipped as though we had each ordered a meal... no reason to gyp the waitress!

[Teri Barowsky Hooper 22]

Thank you all. I didn't realize how much of your suggestions I already do. I will remember your ideas as I head off to LA for the New Year's celebrations!

[Catracks 865]

Asking for the container first is GREAT. I've done this for years even with my full size stomach as a deterrent from eating too much and also to keep my left overs "pristine" It's soooo much nicer to have perfectly sliced and portioned left overs to bring to work than stuff that's been picked over and had bites taken out of it!

Also don't be shy about just asking for a plate. When used to go out to eat with my sisters, we would frequently get one meal and one appetizer and split it three or four ways and NONE of us has had WLS- we were just CHEAP!... but cheap as we are, we ALWAYS tipped as though we had each ordered a meal... no reason to gyp the waitress!

I'm shy about asking for an extra plate, but not the way you mean it. Some restaurants will charge you extra for a plate. It's one thing when they have split a meal back in the kitchen and plated it nice, but I'll be darned if I will pay extra to do it myself.

Just use a bread plate or something.

Yeah, I'm cheap. I don't stiff the waitstaff though -- although not to the extent of tipping as if we had spent $100 instead of $25.

[tallysfunny 363]

I'm not shy about admitting I had surgery. In fact when I went to lunch with my fella he ordered something I could have part of and our waitress was totally understanding. In fact when he told her I had surgery she said her mom had the sleeve about a year ago. It was fine. And btw he had my permission to talk about it openly. He's super proud of me so how could I say no? Lol.