I don't think I can do this anymore

[SeattleCindy 0]

Hi Guys, I've posted here before after having my band re-positioned in April I'm not doing so well at this whole band thing anymore and have become really depressed and hopeless. I still have my same cravings and although I don't have a good fill yet im still choosing food that is horrible for me. I think im addicted to sugar and carbs. I cannot say no to them. I try and do okay for a day or 2 and then i get moody and upset and pissed off if someone says don't eat that... I feel like maybe I made the wrong choice with the band. Ive actually gained weight since my last surgery in april and im so sad. I've gained 10 pounds since April and not lost anything since back in November of 2003. I don't know what to do. I want to be able to eat things I like without gaining and yet I feel like i really have to diet and the whole reason i got this band was to help me because I couldn't diet... I guess I thought this would be a little easier than it is... I don't know what to do. My whole attitude about the band has gone downhill and im not sure what to do to get myself back into the mood that I can do this. I still have another 120 pounds to go to reach goal and although i've lost 55 pounds it's taken me a year and a half to get to that. I read about people losing 100 or more pounds in a few months and im so sad.. I feel like this is never going to work for me. Do any of you have any advice. I really need some help here.. I don't know what to do.

Thanks in advance

Cindy :phanvan

[New Hope 37]

Cindy, you've lost 55 lbs.! That's a lot of weight! (Look at the largest bag of dog food.) That's that much less weight your joints and bones are having to lift and carry every time you move. Have you had any fills? Remember, you're not dieting now. Just try to choose healthy foods. Protein first, then vegetables. Solid foods will make you feel full longer. Like grilled meats. Have you tried fitday.com? It's a great way to keep track of what you're eating. You can still have that sweet treat. But if you eat the good stuff first, you won't want as much of it. Are you getting any exercise? I like to walk in the neighborhood with my husband after dinner. We ride bikes too. Please don't get mad or depressed. Do this for YOU! You deserve to feel and look healthier!

[New Hope 37]

Cindy, have you recently had any blood work done? It would't be a bad idea to have your glucose levels, thyroid, etc. run.

[SeattleCindy 0]

i haven't had any blood work done in awhile not since i stop seeing my doc that did my surgery. I think i have a hormone imbalance or something though. I find myself literally craving something sweet or sugary so much that i have no control over myself. I used to be so good and doing that controlling what i would eat and how much. I haven't had but one fill which they messed up so no i have no fill as of right now but am trying to schedule one next month. Im just depressed, i don't know if it could be because of my hormonal imbalance or what maybe it's my birth control pills but i have never been this bad before. I am newly married and I think my husband is ready to throw me back

he's a sweet man but i put him through so much, im so short tempered now and i never used to be that way. I know im an emotional eater but this is ridiculous. I have an apointment with the doc today to discuss my birth control pills and see about the hormonal imbalance. IM just scared that i have sabotoged my band so much and that my eating habits won't change. I will ask her when im there today about the blood work. Does that have something to do with how i am feeling or my weight gain or ?? Thank you so much

Cindy

[shellyj 5]

hey cindy

well i dont know that i have any advice but i will say when i didnt have restriction it was a daily battle to eat good foods. since getting restriction its easier to make chioces for me.

. I want to be able to eat things I like without gaining and yet I feel like i really have to diet and the whole reason i got this band was to help me because I couldn't diet...

some of us just have a really bad metabolism, example: the past 2 weeks i have fallen from my lowcarb bandwagon.

i have eaten chinese food 2 times (protien first but i did eat 3 crab rangoons and dipped it in the sweet and sour sauce), 1 piece of fried chicken, 1 c2 coke, a snickers, 15 pringles, Pasta salad, peach cobbler 1 reg. piece. anyway i went from 235 to 241 over the course of 2 weeks.

steve (not banded) has also been doing low carbs. in the past 2 weeks he has ate fast food combos 3 times, fried chicken, fries and 2 bisuits, a c2 coke, beer, hamburger with bun 3-4 times, peach cobbler 2 BIG pieces. he went from 195 to 197 from all that!!!!

i gain 6 he gains 2 WTF!!!!! i am back at the low carbs since yesterday.

the way i look at is i can do anything short term. i plan on dieting till i reach 200 pounds then i will quit dieting and see where i end up.

sorry i dont have any answers for you. there is no magic bullet that will allow you to eat what you want and lose.

even with gastric bypass your body gets used to the malabsorption combined with your pouch stretching and if you havent reached goal all you are left with is diet and exercise

(((((hugs)))))

michelle

[Vera 7]

Cindy

I could not do birth control pills. I would be crying for no reason, and wanting to drive into a brick wall and even gained weight while on them. Hormones are tricking to adjust to. My doc would ask me to give it some time but I refused. There are other forms of birth control. The new IUD would be something I would consider if my tubes weren't cut.

Hang in there.

[Rebeccalee 2]

Sounds to me like you are going through a lot of changes all at once, some of them emotional and some physical.

Try to forgive yourself for your small lapses. Ten pounds is not that much. Make your doctor appointments and get your fill. Then see how it goes.

I know it has been a long struggle, but step by step you will get it all worked out and get back on the losing trail.

If things don't improve try to find a counselor of some kind to work with, whether it if weight loss or emotional. You deserve help through this! Hang in there!

[SeattleCindy 0]

Thank you. I did try the low carb Atkins type diet like you shelly and I did okay on it the first few days but i just couldn't stick with it.. my metabolism must be like yours.. my husband was on it and lost 12 pounds then one day he ate a cheeseburger with the bun and still lost weight the next day i ate the same portion as him with the bun and i gained 4 pounds in one day... ONE DAY.. i was like whoa.... so then i worry even if i lose god once you go off atkins it's all going to come back on that is what scares me and im not sure i could follow it for that long. I have to have sweets sometimes or i cry lol it's just how i am...

As far as the birth control pills go that is why im going to get tested, maybe i do have a hormon imbalance and that is why the extra stuff in the pills is making me whacko... does anyone do like Cereal and a piece of toast for Breakfast? Im going to try to schedule another fill this next month when i can afford to get one they are spendy 450 bucks.. out here

Cindy

[MeganA 35]

Cindy-

Wow, you sound just like me!!

You aren't alone. THis isn't easy for anyone! Even those people who seem like they got to loose 100 pounds overnight. They struggled, too.

Remember you are fighting against your body. It wants to stay fat. If you have no restriction it's just like you have no band at all.

My advice is this- small steps. Stop looking at the scale. Don't weight yourself for two weeks. During that two weeks- pick a goal every day. Make it one you know you can do. It doesn't have to be about food or excersize. I think you need to jump start some good feelings about yourself. An example: I'm going to clean out my closet today. After you've cleaned out the closet- celebrate!!! Subscribe to a magazine you've always wanted to get...buy yourself that pair of sandels you have been looking at. And then tell yourself that you can do anything you put your mind to.

The next day, pick another goal. After you've been successful with a daily goal, pick a little bigger one.

I had to do this to stop my negative self talk. It hasn't stopped completely...but it's in check. I have my daily and weekly goals and I've reached each and every one of them. I'm a success! I may not loose a pound this week...heck, I may gain a pound. But that isn't how I'm measuring my success anymore.

Good luck, and keep in touch. You have lots of people here who've been through it, too.

Megan

[donali 57]

Hi Cindy -

I really feel for you. The good news is, YOU ARE BANDED!!! The bad news is, you ARE going to have to do some headwork about your eating. You should still be able to eat the things you like, but in moderation. The sad reality is, you are going to have to find a way to choose more nutritious things about 70% of the time.

Do artificially sweetened things satisfy your cravings? Lots of time substituting a similar tasting but fake sugar item can satisfy the cravings. The problem with the high glycemic items like sugars and white flours are that they spike your blood sugar, which raises your insulin, which stores fat, and puts you in a continual cycle when your insulin crashes back down again.

You sound as though you could use some emotional help (counseling/therapy) to learn to deal with some of the non-physical aspects of obesity.

You ARE going through many changes all at one time, which is VERY VERY stressful - even when the changes are good, like a new marriage. It is still very stressful. And when your coping mechanism is food, and you're trying to deal with that as well, things get really complicated.

You need to acknowledge the "head" part of your journey, and be willing to solve some of those problems. Having an adequate fill will make that a whole lot easier.

Here are some tools I learned when I went through compulive overeating therapy: http://lapbandtalk.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=434

Hopefully they can help somewhat.

Most of all, you need to be gentle with yourself, and KNOW that you ARE going to solve this problem. It will take time, and requires ACTION on your part, but you WILL do it!

Hang in there! We're here for you! Please do not give up or feel hopeless. This is just a down phase, and you have the power to turn your life around, and your band will help you do that.

[Guest Kaysea]

I too love sweets but if you just really give the low carb dieting thing a try, you will find that your cravings diminish greatly. It does take longer than a couple of days though so you do have to be patient about it. I am a diabetic who would literally stab my fiance for a slice of cake and the Atkins approach has really saved my behind from all of my medication and the cravings are under control. I do use Splenda and occasionally have some FF/SF pudding or a no sugar added ice cream bar. There are low calorie and low fat alternatives out there. Be creative and look for all the new "treats" that you can have and don't think about what you think that you can't have.

It is all about perception. If you see it as a no-no, you will want it even more. So have the treats, but find an alternative to the full fat, full sugar version. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!

[hagerteresa 3]

Hi Cindy,

I am sorry you are having a difficult time with the band. I too love sweet sugary things. Honestly you are far more experienced about the band than I am but I have learned a LOT over the past 8.5 weeks since being banded. I never could do the Atkins way either. I tried before being banded and HATED it. This is what I do:

1) FITDAY- I can't emphasize this enough. I never have been good about counting calories but for some reason I just love using this program and have become very good about it. I average 1200-1500 calories a day.

2) Allow yourself treats- I LOVE chocolate. I allow myself about 200-250 calories a day on 1 candy bar. I am probably not the smartest about it because I save it FOR bedtime but I depend on that one chocolate treat. Also find low calorie Snacks. I found Lite cheese puffs (organic even) at a local store and they only have 130 calories for 2 cups. I typically only eat about a 1/2 serving when I have them. I also found Turkey hot dogs with only 70 calories apiece. When I know I am going to be having a higher calorie dinner, I try to find a lower calorie item for Breakfast or lunch. 2 of these hotdogs dipped in a little catchup and mustard only have 150 calories. Healthy Choice ice cream products are DELICIOUS and very low in calories and fat.

3) Throw out your scale! I have never owned my own scale because I refuse to be dependant on it. I drive to my doctors office once a week, ask the receptionist very politely if I can use their scale and they are always more than happy to oblige. Their scales are far more accurate than a chinsy bathroom scale is anyday. You do NOT gain 4 lbs in one day no matter what the crappy scale says. Yesterday I was curious and happened to be at costco. I decided to check out their scales and check my weight. Know what I discovered? The first time I tried it actually said I had GAINED weight, I thought huh? so I stepped back on it a second time. It read 1 lb less but still more than my recorded weight last week. I went for my official weigh in today and guess what? I nearly lost 4 lbs!!! The scale at costco was one of those fancy digital ones but completely WRONG!!!

4) Excercise: Like you and everybody else, I absolutely detest most excercise but found I LOVE Water aerobics. Its fun, easy on your joints and it is truly a workout. It is especially nice this summer.

5) Get on this website EVERY single day!!!! You will make good friends here and we are all in the same boat. You have the band and now live with it. I am not sooo different from you really. I have not had a fill yet ever so my hunger levels shouldn't be too different from yours. Eat right throughout the day and then allow yourself a treat. I think by going back and forth between sugar overload and then no sugar you are definitely confusing your system and causing your own withdrawl symptoms. Try to level everything out. As well, weight loss will cause mood swings. I remember a couple of weeks ago I had just found I had lost 4 lbs and was joyous, and not five minutes later I was thinking about something and wanted to bawl. I did find a list of anti depressants on another band link that supposedly didn't cause weight gain but actually weight loss. If you really think you need those I can try to find that link again. Please do not give up!!!

Teresa

[Janie Jackson 0]

Hi Cindy. I am another sweet lover. I have found that I get by eating Dole sugar free popcicles when ever I want. And I have a skinny cow ice cream sandwich every day. I eat it really slow and savor it. The depression is something I deal with daily. I am allways asking my self WHY OH WHY DID I DO THIS? I have nothing to be really depressed about. I have 3 new grandbabies a good husband and a great family and Church. But ever since my surgery all my friends and family ask me what is the matter? They all say I am so quiet and I am on a anti depressant.Effexor. The thing that really helps is this board and my friends on here. I was telling my friend that I did not know why I was so depressed and she said you are in mourning for the old you that you knew so well. The old you that could eat all day long and eat very unhealthy things. Its like a death. That made sence to me. So now I am just giving it time so I can get to know the new me. And my new life style, my new way to eat. It is especially hard when others around you are eating so much. I guess I have a harder time with quantity. I too read about all these people who lost 100lbs in a year and hoped that would be me. But the weight is coming off pretty slowly now. but I am learning that thats o.k. You have gotten some great advice, just hang in there and read this board often... Good luck Janie

[La_madam 20]

Hi Cindy

Im sorry to hear that you are having a difficult time. I too am a sweet lover . I LOVE my chocolate and Peanut Butter. I have found a great substitue for it though..I buy the balance gold bars, they have 15 grams of Protein and I kid you not they taste just like a candy bar. I usually buy the chocolate peanut butter or the triple chocolate chaos they are the best! It curbs my sweet tooth and is a better food choice then a real candy bar and Im getting Vitamins and 15 grams of protein. I'm like Teresa I hate to exercise but have found that I enjoy the pool it does not hurt your joints nor do you sweat. One other thing I know to be true for me...the minute I eat carbs or sugar Im hungry all day long and never satisfied so I do my best to avoid carbs and sugar. Don't give up. You know it is possible. You lost before, you can do it again.TO get yourself back in the mood come here often, this site is awesome everyone here is so supportive and caring. When you have the urge to eat call me, come online to the site someone is always here. Don't give up!!! remember this is a journey, the weight did not come on overnight it wil ltake time to come off.

[Yana 0]

Hi Cindy,

I love chocolate too and although I hate sugar added to foods and drinks, chocolate is another matter...I have only been banded 11 days but today had to have chocolate and then felt quite sick!

My Breakfast was always Cereal and toast but now I have a Swedish crispread(it is a large triangular shape)with a scrape of butter and marmalade as I used to have on my toast. I have yoghourt instead of cereal and have felt O.K. with that up to now.

I have also been on anti-depressants most of my life and am also on hormones but HRT as I had a hysterectomy and opherectomy 8 years ago. I thought these medications may be responsible for my weight gain but it seems not. I also had repeated blood tests for hormonal imbalance but it didn't show anything major. I think with me it is all more emotional and just a love of chocolate like so many of the rest of the world!

There has been loads of good advice like substituting with low calorie/low sugar bars and having a little of what you like rather than depriving yourself etc.

I am sure you will continue and do well after all you have lost over 50 lbs! I can't imagine being that far on but am hoping I can.

I hope you feel better about things soon and put your mind at rest by having all the blood tests etc.