Support help, some members found out =(

[smallbird 168]

Hey guys,

So the only people I told was my mom, and my boyfriend. 2 members of my family found out I had surgery, they said "I know you got the lap band"...when I didnt Im VSG but still Im upset because they are not supportive, they are mad I didnt tell them and I feel its just my business. I feel defeated, embarrassed and if I loose weight they are the type that will say "its not like you did it on your own"

Just venting I guess.. =(

[Traci J. 207]

But you are doing it on your own, the sleeve is only a tool and you can gain weight back later if you're not careful. And who cares what they think or say anyway? You did this for you and for your own reasons, and if they can be supportive, then screw em. You shouldn't be ashamed or embarrassed about doing something to help you live a better life. Keep your head up and flaunt it when you got it

[smallbird 168]

thanks so much your so right =)

[No game 14,437]

You know, I know, everyone on this board knows its not easy! People that care about me know its not an easy road. And the people that don't take the time to understand or care, Have no affect on my life one way or another. They will not know my deepest secrets they will not take care of me when I'm old.. So take care of yourself and the ones you love and the rest can find their own way

[smallbird 168]

Thanks Laura I appreciate it

[NVTammy 12]

Hey guys' date='

So the only people I told was my mom, and my boyfriend. 2 members of my family found out I had surgery, they said "I know you got the lap band"...when I didnt Im VSG but still Im upset because they are not supportive, they are mad I didnt tell them and I feel its just my business. I feel defeated, embarrassed and if I loose weight they are the type that will say "its not like you did it on your own"

Just venting I guess.. =([/quote']

Glad you vented!

My husband told me not to tell anyone because I'd be hurt by the responses- made me question his support for a brief moment even. Honestly, the ones that matter in life will support you- my kids and hubby have been great. I'm pre surgery though- I do have a few friends who have made the comment "oh the easy way out huh??" Well my response now is come to a support group meeting with me- care to try my pre-op diet for A DAY?? Or wait here's my steps to surgery guide from my doc- follow this- they are simply uneducated about the process! Tell them to educate themselves before they judge - then maybe you will value their opinion a bit, otherwise follow the golden rule- treat others as you want to be treated! I find that simple reminder hits home for most trying to rain on my parade!! Good luck and God bless! It's tough and everyone here is proud of you!

Sent from my iPhone using VST

[Trishn 5]

I had my sleeve on October 30 and I really didn't try to keep it a secret from people. For one thing, I knew they'd figure it out soon enough and also the factory where I work has numerous people who have had bariatric surgery. Most of them have had the gastric bypass and a couple of us have had the sleeve. It's like having my own built-in support group at work! Anyway, it really makes me mad when people judge us by saying we took the easy way out. Those are the people who have never had to live with obesity and all the medical and mental issues that accompany it. I am sick of people saying things like ' just eat less'. Seriously, do these people think that if it was that easy that we would not have done that already? I guess they think the 'easy way' is to risk your life ( because any surgery is risky) and take a huge chunk out of your bank account (because it certainly isn't free) and to basically have to re-learn everything that has to do with nutrition in your life. I think that those of us who choose this surgery are some of the strongest and bravest people I know!

[smallbird 168]

I know what you mean by the "why dont you just stop eating" ...like are you serious? lol though these people may judge me, the people who have replied to me venting made me realize that Im doing something to get healthy, and I needed the help, I didnt take the easy way out because the sleeve doesnt instantly make you skinny I have to work at it and change my bad habits.

Thanks everyone =)

[iggychic 1,405]

The best response to a negative idiot is to confront them back. They want you to feel badly and make excuses so try responding "Yes I had the gastric sleeve, is there a problem with that?" They can then say their stupidity and you should not over react...respond, "Thank you for sharing, you obviously don't understand the process" any other responses can be met with "good to know" or other non phrase that leaves them with nothing to say Keep saying "good to know" without arguing...it blows the wind out of a person's sails so quickly it's kind of a trip to watch

[JMarshall 352]

When people say " its the easy way out" ask them if they know that you will not eat solid foods for about 6-8 weeks and possibly longer if your doctor requires a pre-surgery 2 week modified liquid diet. Could they go without a solid food for 2 months ? most people cant and wont . The easy way out if doing nothing about your health issue. think about it , the one thing you never see is a morbidly obese 70 year old. There is no reason to be ashamed or embarrassed about taking control of your health. I have lost 210 pounds and this surgery has SAVED my life.People that make stupid comments about something they know nothing about cannot be helped. I guess the statement is true " ignorance is bliss". Stay strong and stay positive smallbird.

[MsKinthedesert 19]

It takes courage to make the decison to have wls. People who don't know what you go through will never have any idea of what it takes to make the decision and go through the process of losing weight by vsg. Find yourself a small group to support you on your journey, people who will help you work out your challenges and Celebrate your victories. As for anyone who is not supportive, I wouldn't even talk about the subject with them. If they bring it up, don't get upset-just say you don't wish to discuss it change the subject or walk away. I have a core group of people, including my husband and a couple of good friends, who have walked with me through my pre op process. I haven't told my own parents because I know it will cause a problem. You have to do what is good for you,because no one has to live this but you. Blessings and peace to you on your journey.

[smallbird 168]

Thanks everyone love to know I have a small support group on here =D

[leeann71 539]

I would tell them that you are sick and tired of being an obiest statistic here in America, that at least you have the balls to do something about it. Thats what I told my friends and family.

[dltrautman1 27]

Hold your head up! It is no one elses business. I told a lot of people but they were going to know. I am lucky to have a great support system. Most know how long I have struggled with this disease. Yes, it is a disease. You do it for you and those important to you. The others can go jump off a cliff! I agree with others - I would like to see them walk one day in our shoes!

[NurseGrace 509]

Hey guys,

So the only people I told was my mom, and my boyfriend. 2 members of my family found out I had surgery, they said "I know you got the lap band"...when I didnt Im VSG but still Im upset because they are not supportive, they are mad I didnt tell them and I feel its just my business. I feel defeated, embarrassed and if I loose weight they are the type that will say "its not like you did it on your own"

Just venting I guess.. =(

People like this are people you really don't need in your life, honestly. Family is family and whatever but honestly, I don't have much to do with my extended family because they are backwards unsophisticated pricks that think they are something else because their children are high achievers. Because of these people I grew up with an inferiority complex that I am SURE had something to do with me developing the unhealthy relationship with food that I did.

Go your own way, walk your own path. Don't worry about them. Let them think you had a lapband, let them think whatever they want about you. Live you own life, learn to be happy.