Pardon my bluntness...

[NVTammy 12]

I agree and understand - I have been obese since childhood and have failed more diets then most people have even heard of! I am very emphatetic about how hard it is . I think it is great that people come on here and have tantrums and jump up and down over their frustrations. WE understand what maybe others don't....

What i DON'T understand is how people can go into this surgery knowing so little and always looking to game it. In my mind' date=' that is different then someone who slips up because it really is hard.

I am not judging people, we do all have our own road to travel, but I failed once at weight losss surgery (lapband) and I DON'T intend to fail again. I try to share my experiences so hopefully others can learn from my mistakes. Maybe they need to make their own mistakes... but I am quite familiar with the road to failure and for those that care to pay attention might benefit from that. I am not the only one, there are tons of people on this site who know what it takes to make it work. Always looking for ways to just do what you want to anyway isn't one of them.... and I am not interested in being an enabler to those that hope they can avoid changing their habits and lifestyle while becoming a swimsuit model...lol

I try to be positive and supportive but i dont feel the need to lie.[/quote']

Well said! Thank you!

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[stacygrdnr 92]

i totally agree....biot ch about it you'll find support for that! But when the complaining turns to popcorn...well I'm not going to hold back on telling someone how stupid that is.

I am not up on your entire story..where was your surgery done? Sorry about all the hell you faced.. but just as some of us are not tired about hearing your story some of us don't mind the silly questions. #ijs

[iggychic 1,405]

You know' date=' I have liked you in other posts but this one just takes the cake. I seriously think you are awesome. What you have to offer here is way more than what the rest of us do. I don't know if you have your full story of the leak somewhere but I think you should just detail it all out and copy and paste it when you see these posts. It certainly rattled my cage and I have seen posts from others who mentioned thinking twice before making a dumb decision. Thanks again Iggychic!!!

Steph[/quote']

I had to read that twice...I thought I was getting in trouble for making fun of Sarah (I know her...the ridicule is earned!) Have I ever mentioned we can see her house from our house in Russia?

Thank you

And Steeler...For me, I don't feel the need to beat up anyone who eats a cookie or has a drink. I ONLY do that when they make these choices during their doctor's ordered recovery diet. Having suffered a leak, (I say this so often it probably does sound trite, but what the heck) I don't want to see anyone, even someone who makes stupid choices, suffer a tenth of what I did. So on I go So boring to so many I know, but if it gets through to one person I'll feel like I've done something right.

So back to the house in Russia...it's not really in russia, but its so close that Sarah would give me dual citizenship if I asked....

I'm being a smart arse aren't I?

[NVTammy 12]

i totally agree....biot ch about it <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' /> you'll find support for that! But when the complaining turns to popcorn...well I'm not going to hold back on telling someone how stupid that is.

RIGHT!! I'm hoping y'all will tell me if I'm being stupid - I know popcorn is a thing of the past -- if it was more important than my health if be in the kitchen making some now!

The education from this site is worth far more than popcorn!!

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[iggychic 1,405]

and just to be clear...I've had popcorn i just waited til the doc said i could

[NVTammy 12]

and just to be clear...I've had popcorn <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' /> i just waited til the doc said i could

Thanks iggychic!! I didn't think popcorn would ever be ok!!!!

Nice to know it won't be a thing of the past forever- it will now be an entry in my journal of things to ask/look forward toward????

Someone else mentioned Pirate Booty is tolerated well - ill again follow great advise from here and wait for my docs ok

Thank you

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[iggychic 1,405]

The thing about popcorn early out is that it can get stuck in your sutures just like it does in your teeth, so something like a popped pirate booty wouldn't have that problem, but I would think it's akin to cheeto's...you have to watch how many you have

I didn't have this surgery to remove food from my life. I had it to lose weight and to learn to eat better. Regular meals are a killer for me (I often didn't eat for half a day and then ate too much cheese and crackers...and wine ) Portion size, etc, is my focus, but I am only taking highly processed foods from my life, which really, do any of us need? I'm as happy with whole wheat bread as I am with white, so why white?

So popcorn is allowed, but I limit my serving to a cup at most (I haven't actually eaten that much, I seem to be full at half a cup of anything). I also eat potato chips on rare occasions...but only a very small serving. I am not a huge snacker, nor do I sit and eat a bag, so I feel ok with this. For others this might be as dangerous a path as a cheeseburger at macdonalds (something I must admit I'd eat prior but don't now).

My doc does not believe in following any program except within healthy healing guidelines, and he encourages you to avoid processed foods or learn to limit them significantly. No limit on carbs, just a calorie limit and a goal for Protein (which I have to work at). I like this approach but can see it wouldn't work for all. Right now my sleeve does not like sugar much at all. Which is a great thing because if I did have a weakness it's for charleston chews and hot tamales, which I have zero desire for. Because I know they can be a problem for me, I'll continue to avoid them...my sleeve is actually teaching me that candy isn't everything I thought it was...I don't even crave it anymore.

But champagne and wine are allowed (within reason LOL) which is the perfect program for me heh heh

[clk 3,519]

I find it ironic that there's this thread right here wondering why people do these things, followed by a bunch of "you don't know or understand" and "you're not being supportive!" posts...and just a few threads down on this board are a bunch of people reaming out another person for wanting to start solids before their surgeon allows it.

Look, being a food addict doesn't give you a free pass to do stupid things. And yes, it's not nice or PC to say it, but it's absolutely a stupid thing to trust a surgeon to slice your body open and remove most of an organ, and then to decide on your own to just eat what you want despite the fact that he/she gave you a diet specifically geared to prevent life threatening complications.

YOU CAN DIE FROM A LEAK. Do you know why the complication rate is low with the sleeve? Partly because our surgeons give us post op diets to follow to prevent complications!

I'm sorry, but if you are not in a place where you can mentally withstand three weeks of a liquid diet and would rather risk your life eating Cookies and hamburgers during that phase, you should probably get some counseling prior to surgery. I am not being cruel, I am saying this as nicely as I know how to say it. There is no shame in needing support. However, it would be a real shame for someone to risk their life and undergo serious pain and follow on surgeries because they were not prepared to exercise willpower long enough to heal.

We all have food addictions and bad habits - every one of us. Some people cope better than others, certainly. But nobody here has an easy relationship with food or we'd have skipped the organ removal!

And I don't care what anyone says - being supportive means being HONEST. Sure, there are nice ways to do this and blunt and harsh ways. In my opinion, the OP was not harsh or rude in any way. Certainly she said nothing out of line.

If you come here and ask the advice of total strangers on the internet, do not expect that everyone is going to give you a rainbow sparkles hug when you're doing dumb things. Sometimes we need a wake up call and gently saying, "Gosh, I don't know that eating a cheeseburger is a good idea a week post op" probably isn't as effective as saying, "Do you have a death wish?!"

People with addictions love to blame their addictions for their own choices and weakness but the reality is that every one of us can change. We have to choose to do it. Do not say "I can't stop eating" because YES YOU CAN. It's just harder to stop, that's all.

Good luck, folks. And to anyone I offend now or later on VST, I'm sure I meant it in the nicest way possible.

~Cheri

[LizTex2587 212]

Not insensitive and judgemental...we all have to accept some personal responsibility for what we put in our mouths, and I have several personal friends who have had wls and they do great until they start eating wrong. I'm not saying it's not a struggle, it totally is! But it seems to me that all too often I see people in my personal life and other places that gain weight back and just can't understand how it happened...I'm all for supporting someone through their struggles, but geez accept some personal responsibility!

[LizTex2587 212]

Their body does not need popcorn any more than my body does. That's a nice cop-out but the docs aren't prescribing so little food that you are going to die. No one "needs" a cookie to survive. You do have foods you are allowed which can sustain your life quite well.

Iggy, that's you hitting the nail on the head!

[Nicolanz 1,484]

Haha Tammy, I would not question yours or anyone else's intelligence! We all know going against your doctors orders is harmful and I don't condone it. I don't and nobody else needs someone telling us we lack BASIC (the lowest form) common sense who hasn't even had the surgery!! That baffles me! I didn't cheat by the way, but I would never belittle someone in their time of weakness.

[4ALongerLife 329]

Well I'll tell you, I was strict about my diet after my 1st surgery, my second one, then the 2 months of liquids that I was on, then I may have stumbled after my 3rd surgery but it was ok'd by my dr. first (as some of my friendly nazis would remind me not to do x, y, or z according to their dr's) and now I am trying to be as good as possible after my 4th surgery. But I finally closed my food journals on MFP because I got tired of anyone asking me why I was eating what I was eating. I am doing what my dr. has said I can do. I am limited in so much due to the stage of foods that I am in and trying to keep my calories up to STOP losing weight due to a persistent leak that I had contracted through no fault of my own. My carb rate stinks and I hate it, but I'm struggling with where I'm at in my 4 surgeries of my journey and trying to battle it out amongst my own food addict demons. But after 9 months of dealing with this, jeeeshus, anyone cracks. I especially understand whomever posted about the effect of a freaking McDonald's commercial after being on liquids since 9/4/12. Try being on liquids since then and see how you respond. I can totally empathize; however, I'm doing it. So when I stumble... does that mean I lack "common sense"? I don't think so, and I defer to my physician who has to remind me how strong I have been in the 9 months of holy hell that I've had in what should have been an "easy surgery"... but pls note that question is a rhetorical one and I don't need you to answer me

The most I can say is I've seen it all here on this site and one thing I feel like I have to say is this: don't let anyone run you off from being here. I've seen people who jump on others, people who support others, some who are dependent on many things and seemingly have changed it from food to other means, those that are enablers, those that are co-dependent, you name it, the flavor is here. And it can get ugly here. But please don't let that run you off, which slowly throughout time, it's been doing to me. However, I still venture out to read some threads and this one, IDK why I'm responding to but I am.

The point to remember here is this:

It's the net ppl, anyone can be anyone and do you trust anyone to tell you what to do instead of the surgeon that you PAID good money for (or your insurance did) to cut out 80-85% of your internal organ that helps you sustain your life? If you have questions, proceed with caution on the advices you receive here please. Serious questions, defer to your physician or nutritionist. Remember every person's journey IS different as are their chances for different things to happen (like my body rejecting a staple which caused my leak; once a leak starts, it can be a bear to repair depending on the aggression of the tactics taken, the time in which it is found and the damage thus done to your body and other internal organs and how they react... albeit why you need to refer to your surgeon who has gone to school to understand how the body functions, knows which tests to do to determine the damage and then can determine the response).

But this site should be a place anyone can come and pose a question to. On the flip side, to the newer persons here... once you have been here a while, you get pretty irritated with questions like "Can I eat a hamburger a week out from surgery?" It's best to be kind when possible, but the world isn't kind is it? I saw someone last week eating a hamburger 10 days out from their surgery. The way I responded whenever they complained of being "stalled"... is how far out are you again? And you are eating hamburgers? (as well as where's your Water intake and exercise, but I digress)

We all have our moments and we all remain to lurk the boards in our different places in our journey to learn. We all want to be a part of the 80% that are success rate sleevers.... All I can say is stick around, ignore some of the posts (I mean are they really worth it?), defer to your doctor or nutritionist on more important health/nutrition questions ... and I wish the best of luck for you in your journey to success.

[iggychic 1,405]

Haha Tammy' date=' I would not question yours or anyone else's intelligence! We all know going against your doctors orders is harmful and I don't condone it. I don't and nobody else needs someone telling us we lack BASIC (the lowest form) common sense who hasn't even had the surgery!! That baffles me! I didn't cheat by the way, but I would never belittle someone in their time of weakness.[/quote']

OK, I've had the surgery, heck I'll not only one up that, but two as I've had two surgeries and massive complications. So I must be fully entitled to say....Someone who breaks their doctors prescribed diet program while healing LACKS COMMON SENSE!!! They actually lack more than that IMO But I'll leave it at that.

[LezzieLez 180]

Pre or post op doesn't matter in this post. I am pre-op and know it would be STUPID to cheat on a post-op diet that helps a person RECOVER from a MAJOR surgery...

That is lacking COMMON SENSE.. We understand that an addiction is just that and I know I will be crying because I cannot eat a croissant. I will be weak at times and emotional because I am like that now. You may even see me whining on a post about wanting to cheat.

However, but you will NEVER see me post on a forum asking if it is ok to RISK MY LIFE to eat something I crave. Thats STUPID and it lacks common sense.

[iggychic 1,405]

I am not up on your entire story..where was your surgery done? Sorry about all the hell you faced.. but just as some of us are not tired about hearing your story some of us don't mind the silly questions. #ijs

I had my surgery in Washington State Stacy. And thanks But as to the silly questions...I don't mind them either. Questions are always ok. Moaning and groaning about another Protein shake is ok Getting frustrated with your husband eating pizza is ok...post away and vent here or ask questions but just don't post "I had popcorn half an hour out of surgery and I'm still alive" or expect someone like me is going to respond in a less than supportive manner

Are you freaking nuts often comes to mind when I read those posts...and I temper that down on occasion heh heh