Not interested in sex post op! Help!

[carolrod 8]

2.5 months out lost 35 lbs from 253lbs day of surgery. Just not interested in Sex and not even horny!! I know TMI!! But just wondering if anyone else feels the same way! My husband is very frustrated, however I am ok with it. Has anyone else's libido dropped too?

[asherje 81]

Recommend even though you're not interested, put something sexy on and just go through the motions. My first time after surgery I had to too and something didn't click until doing that. Mentally you're just not wanting anything, but going through the motions Animal instincts will kick in and you'll be good to go.

It's a good release for you and your hubby.

[Lilu 65]

Yo are not alone, you will get it back slowly. But for now you must try to have sex with your huband. TMI Sorry. He is there for you through your changes don't push him away. You can always please your husband eventhough you don't want to be pleased.

I am now about 7 month s out and I don't do it the way I use to but since the weight lost it has been the best sex I have.

Good luck

[COnative 192]

This is going to be way TMI but I wasn't in to it till one day I was on top and for once, since surgery, I didn't feel like I was crushing my husband. I suddenly could let go. What a great feeling. It will get easier- try not to stress too much about it- I know it is hard. I definitely went through the motions too after surgery because I knew how important it was to my hubby to have that intimacy. Hang in there.

[scorpio2479 237]

I have lost my desire for intimacy as well. Pre-op I was always in the mood, but now I have no idea where it has ran off to??? Lol

[CCCross 31]

2.5 months out lost 35 lbs from 253lbs day of surgery. Just not interested in Sex and not even horny!! I know TMI!! But just wondering if anyone else feels the same way! My husband is very frustrated' date=' however I am ok with it. Has anyone else's libido dropped too?[/quote']

Same here. I don't even want people touching me at all. I'm usually that way but it's way worse post op..almost to the point of being an aversion. It's not a germ thing, I just don't want any intimacy at all.

[Geminidrive 389]

No change here. I have always had a healthy sexual appetite and continue to have one. I don't know what to tell you, perhaps therapy will help.

[amytug 996]

Are you stressed, trying to make sure you get your Protein, etc?

I read once:

"For men, sex erases stress.

For women, stress erases sex."

! I agree with going through the motions. LOTS of foreplay. It'll come back.

It's really easy to get caught up in your own stuff and not feel like being that close and intimate with someone else. Not let someone else into your personal space bubble.

Also,you said he's getting frustrated. is he being a jerk about it? Biggest turn off!

[asherje 81]

Interesting read:

http://www.m.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/features/loss-of-sexual-desire-in-women?page=4

[carolrod 8]

Wow!! Thanks for all the responses!! And so glad I am not alone! He is frustrated and doing everything in the book right to get me into being intimate again. He is a big Teddy Bear. Feel bad, but maybe it does have something do to with the surgery. Thanks I will keep on searching for an answer

[smkeller 3]

This surgery is a BIG shock to the body. Your body knows that something serious has been done. Plus your energy levels are different, kertosis (fat burning) is taking place - which can make you kind of smelly - I hate to tell you - so bathe really well and wear underarm deoderant and stuff. Once my wife got up, went into the bathroom and returned with the deoderant, - shish.

I think it takes about 3 to 6 months to get back to feeling somewhat normal. I agree with the people who say go through the motions to encourage the feelings to start up again, but don't force it. You are made to have the feelings, still have all the same glands, etc., it just the body wants to not get riled up, but I think that you are about ready to start that engine again.

Just the fact that you are talking about it means there is some movement already. When you lose a little more and the definition of your body begins to asset itself thruough all the fat again, trust me, you will be REARING to go.

[mgsmith 35]

It took me about a little over a month and 1/2 to have my sex drive return and trust me it has been great since my weight loss.