Regret even after initial "omg, what have I done?"

[Mason 122]

If I had not had significant health issues such as diabetes type II, severe sleep apnea, aggravated hypertension, and poor blood circulation in my feet and hands, I would not have had this weight loss surgery. If my obesity had been strictly a matter of appearance, I would have simply continued to buy larger pants every few months or so… but it wasn’t.

I knew in my heart and soul that if I didn’t do something other than diet and exercise, I would make my young wife a young widow. I didn’t think it was fair or morally correct of me to eat myself to death over the course of the next few years as both my parents had. My father and mother died at ages 62 and 61, respectively, from obesity-related illnesses and, at the rate I was going, at age 57 with a BMI of 38, I knew I was right behind them.

One of the deciding factors for me was reading how much post-operative patients can actually eat one to two years after surgery. Yes, the short-term (first three months) recovery process is hell but if those patient reports are accurate, I can certainly be content on a slice-and-a-half of pizza or a 6-inch Subway sandwich in one sitting. Am I really going to feel deprived two years from now because I can “only” eat a half-foot meatball marinara sandwich instead of my previous one-footer? The answer is no, not if I’m not hungry.

I’m in my third week of post-operative recovery now and am looking forward to moving past poached eggs, Laughing Cow cheese, and pureed Beans as my main source of sustenance. I am still struggling with chronic diarrhea and subsequent dehydration and I fear I may be taking Imodium for the rest of my life. Yet, honestly, the only regret I have is that I didn’t do this a year-and-a-half ago when I first ventured into the surgeon’s office for an initial consult. At that time, I was interested in the gastric band. My surgeon nixed that idea in five seconds as ineffective in the long-run and recommended either the gastric bypass or sleeve. It took me over one whole year (not to mention another episode of weight loss and regain) to wrap my head around the idea.

With the 14lbs I have already lost, my sleep apnea has disappeared. I hadn't had a good night’s sleep since I lost some weight a year ago (of course, I regained all of it by this past August). Now, I am waking up refreshed and alert, and—no matter how few calories I consume on a daily basis (sometimes as few as 850 or so)—much to my amazement, I am never hungry. That alone makes this very unpleasant adjustment period worth the price of admission. Even if my stomach eventually dilates to a 16-ounce capacity in two years as my surgeon advised (and I hope to hell it doesn’t), with 85 percent of the hunger-producing hormone ghrelin gone from my body, I know that I will be able to permanently keep the damn weight off this time around with relatively little effort.

Related, based on everything I’ve read, those of us who are “grazers,” i.e., perpetual “snackers”—who eat not out of hunger but as a matter of habit every time they pass a bag of chips or Cookies or whatever—have a special burden to bear and challenge to overcome. The vertical sleeve gastrectomy is not very effective in altering that behavior over the long haul, certainly not after all the swelling recedes and the stomach relaxes and dilates.

If despite the initial weight loss and the future promise of freedom from chronic morbid obesity, you are still feeling “OMG, what have I done?”, you might really want to consider some form of therapy to grief and mourn your old relationship with food or, eventually, you will return to it. It's unlikely such patients will reach goal and they will very likely begin to regain some of the weight. The restrictive benefit of this surgery only seems to be significant up to one year (and less for others).

Best of luck with this very unpleasant early recovery process and, hopefully, forever changing the way you think and feel about food.< /p>

Okay, now it's time for my lousy plain poached egg and one wedge of Laughing Cow cheese. Yuck. Smile.

[AussieLady 521]

I had my surgery on 11/14 and have lost 38 pounds. My SW was 235. I have felt regret at times but have also felt pleased with my decision at other times. Today I took my dog to the beach for a play and far in the distance he noticed another dog and took off. I took off after him. After about 30 seconds I thought, omg, I am running! Not only am I running but I don't feel like I am going to die. I was totally elated! I suddenly felt like a normal person and the feeling was great.

I think something like this had to happen for me to be sure that I made the right decision and I truly believe that these moments of awakening makes us realize that it was all worthwhile.

[mamakate78 4]

Enigma!

It does get better I promise! I'm 5 weeks out and I wanted to punch everyone in the throat that told me that " it will get better " but now at 5 weeks out I can tell u that it does!

I had plenty of wtf moments and started replacing food with my pain meds and had to shut that off real quick! If u ever want chat please feel free!

[cnunez77 29]

I felt the same was as you but I am going on two months post op and I feel fine and I still eat chocolate here and there and I had a small piece of carrot cake and even a hot wing and I was fine everything in moderation I am down 38 lbs and losing 2-3 lbs a week and feel great so don't worry it will be fine

[Geminidrive 389]

I have absolutely no regrets and feel great. Think about your life if you didn't have the surgery, that should give you a reality jolt.

[KayBaby 26]

My regrets or buyer's remorse was short lived, but I did have them. I was sleeved at 272 lbs on 4/23/12. At first the food restriction was shocking, my brain wanted to eat more, but tummy screamed, "no room!" I learned to only eat what volume felt ok, and save the rest for later. As the fat melts away, for me the biggest visible difference was at 4-6 months out when my clothes were no longer wearable. Today I am at 198-Onederland!!! People are shocked at my visible change, I get called thin or skinny, I can cross my legs, curl up in a chair like a little kid, I feel wonderful! The lbs are moving slower now, so I must pick up the work outs to get to goal. I now eat what I want, but in smaller portions, and although I don't say it, am nauseated and shocked at the heaping plates I see people devour. My normal has changed and I only regret that I did it at age 50 and not at 30! Many yrs being more active with my kids and not being "the fat mom" could have been nice! Thanks for listening, guess I needed to vent. Best wishes, take the Vitamins, increase the Protein and Water, and move! Moving has been hardest, no time, blah, blah, blah..... and my body has lost weight despite my laziness! I will get moving and rock my sleeve in 2013!

[Nicole0110 12]

I'm only asking you this because I went to through this as well.

How many times have you tried to lose weight only to loose and then probably gain it back plus some?

I think we are all here bc we couldn't keep the weight off. The biggest thing is hate is that I can't have a coke from McDonald's! I do miss eating big meals but I'm slowly learning that I don't need all that food we used to eat to survive.

My thought process is slowly changing the further I go.

Hello,

There will always be something you will regret but we have all been upset or depressed about our "start" weight and now that we have taken the steps to change that our lives and habits have to change and its just a readjustment period. In the beginning I felt that I would never be able to enjoy food, let alone ever go out and have lunch or dinner with friends but in time you become more secure in what you can eat and you will be able to just 4oz of it! It seems weird but also remember we all did this for us and our health and if someone else has something negative to say about it or put you down, screw them! You are on the road to a healthy future. Best wishes!

[sabbymomof3 11]

BUYERS REMORSE lol I had the exact feelings. I was laying in pre-op wondering how many people chickened out at the last minute. I was wondering if my doc would be mad if I left. Lol. the first two weeks sucked. I felt guilty for going to such extremes to lose weight... fast forward 3 months later and I feel sooo much better. Down 40 pounds and ok with my choices. I chose this journey and I plan on it being a great decision. Nothing worth having ever came easy. I'm an inspiration to co-workers now and happy. You'll be happy soon

[Nicole0110 12]

My regrets or buyer's remorse was short lived, but I did have them. I was sleeved at 272 lbs on 4/23/12. At first the food restriction was shocking, my brain wanted to eat more, but tummy screamed, "no room!" I learned to only eat what volume felt ok, and save the rest for later. As the fat melts away, for me the biggest visible difference was at 4-6 months out when my clothes were no longer wearable. Today I am at 198-Onederland!!! People are shocked at my visible change, I get called thin or skinny, I can cross my legs, curl up in a chair like a little kid, I feel wonderful! The lbs are moving slower now, so I must pick up the work outs to get to goal. I now eat what I want, but in smaller portions, and although I don't say it, am nauseated and shocked at the heaping plates I see people devour. My normal has changed and I only regret that I did it at age 50 and not at 30! Many yrs being more active with my kids and not being "the fat mom" could have been nice! Thanks for listening, guess I needed to vent. Best wishes, take the Vitamins, increase the Protein and Water, and move! Moving has been hardest, no time, blah, blah, blah..... and my body has lost weight despite my laziness! I will get moving and rock my sleeve in 2013!

Hello,

I say this all the time as well, it becomes normal! I think thats the beauty of it. I remember 2 months after i was sleeved I went to a diner and seeing the waiter bring this huge plate of food over, where in the past I would eat all of that and an appetizer and drink two or three ice teas, made em nervous. I ate what my stomach allowed me to eat and took the rest home. I think after a while it just becomes natural and normal. Best wishes and you're sooo right ROCK YOUR SLEEVE!!! lol

[EnigmaInKY 22]

So awesome to wake up to more posts about this. Thank you, everyone, for taking time to post. You can't imagine how much it helped my spirits last night. In fact, my husband and I played Yahtzee with the TV in the background and I thoroughly enjoyed it - something we used to do along with a mixed drink and some Snacks.

The posts since I went to bed last night have also given me an extra umph this morning. Today is my family Christmas. Mom is making her awesome chili and potato Soup. I'm taking my awesome post-op cream of chicken Soup and chocolate/vanilla pudding. : ) This is Day 8 since my surgery so my family should see some noticeable changes in my figure!

[Threetimesacharm 1,400]

I'm pre-op. I see a therapist. I have been seeing her before I ever imagined getting surgery.

She urged me to continue therapy. She warned me not to get surgery if I was planning on discontinuing therapy. food has been a outlet for all of us. When you're obese food is usually more than an outlet for overwhelming negative feelings, it's an outlet for every feeling. My therapist and primary care doctor have both told me that when you remove food from the equation you can really start to grapple with life, because you no longer have your coping mechanism.

I highly recommend talking to a therapist. Most healthcare providers allow a certian amount of visits monthly. They can help you work through your new lifestyle.

There is no going back, but you may find solace if you look into research about patients three years out. Your stomach begins to grow out again and you can have a similar lifestyle to pre-op. (Hopefully by then we have all learned healthy eating and don't need to be resleeved.)

Good Luck

To this poster: your stomach does NOT GROW OUT. It may relax where you can eat a little more but thats it. What gets people gaining is poor food choices and too much grazing.

[Nicole0110 12]

Hello,

Stay positive! Its key to your success! Of course like anything there will be ups and downs, but its just new and we have to readjust! Enjoy your Christmas dinner! keep me posted!

[mizzzliza 113]

This is such a great thread. I'm pre op and just knowing I will more than likely run the gamut of these emotions, and that it's perfectly normal makes the surgery much easier to face. My husband has already mentioned since I'm doing so well right now on the diet why have surgery. I started at 268.6lbs and this morning weighed in at 230.4lbs. I'm 5'3.5" and I started dieting on oct 19 after my first class. I am feeling pretty good about my success and it would be pretty easy to chicken out and rationalize that I am doing ok and can continue on, except for the fact that I've done it over and over again. I think to myself this isn't about removing part of my stomach, it's about removing my yoyo. That lose-gain-lose again-gain again that has been my pattern my whole adult life. I lost 80 lbs about 10 yrs ago. I felt wonderful! I remember being able to jog, go hiking, walk in sandy beaches without feeling like dying. Being able to sit in a chair with my legs under me, so many positive things. All those things didn't stop me from gaining my weight back plus an extra 40 lbs. now I have 2 grand babies and I very much want to be able to make sure they grow up as physically active individuals. I want them to know that outdoor activities are the norm not the exception because I think a huge part of my problem is a sedentary lifestyle. It's a vicious circle. Too lazy to be active so I stay indoors but then I put on weight so it's hard for me to do anything so I stay inside even more and gain more weight. I want to learn to respect my body and in the process teach them to respect theirs. Anyway, I'm going to work on mentally preparing myself for those first few weeks. I need to talk to my hubby and tell him what will likely happen so he's not caught off guard if I have a melt down or two and just try and keep my eye on the prize. Spring will be here before we know it and I have plans for the skinnier healthier me.

[ShrinkyDinkMe22 376]

Thank you for responding. I know you're right in every point you made' date=' especially about losing weight and gaining it back (plus some.) How far out are you from your surgery? When did this veil of 'omg' lift?[/quote']

I'm only 19 days out and every couple of days I have the what did I do. But it's happening few and far between. Before it was every day and little by little its spacing out.

I think a lot of people morning food. I didn't realize how much I liked it until I now can't have a lot of it. I had half an egg for Breakfast and was full after half! Then I thought, damn I could eat a three egg omlette, hash Browns and pancakes before had we gone out to eat. Now, 30 minutes to eat an egg. I know in a few months ill be back on foods and I think being able to have a bite of this or a bite of that will help. I think right now having to do liquids, full liquids and Protein shakes really gets old. But it's definitely for your safety while you heal.

[Jbrewer2933 15]

Totally normal feeling. You need to read butterthebean's reexamine your relationship with food, really hit home for me and made me realize I did this not only to lose weight and be healthy but to quit obsessing over food.