Annoying People

[K@t 38]

Ok, I'm in the ranting mood today. On top of my depression about my lack of band success....I'm going to bitch about all those people who look at me, 6 months out and are like....why aren't you skinny yet?

Hello...it took me my whole 25 year life to get where I am today...do they think in 6 months its all coming off?? I mean really. I wish I had never told ANYONE about the surgery. I'm tired of all the disapproving looks and of peoples questions of ...so exactly how much have you lost? And of my in laws (as sweet of people as they are) asking me EVERY WEEK...so how much have you lost this week? :straight

For those of you debating about whether or not to tell...don't. If no one knows then they can't have any expectations for your weight loss. Tell only the necessary people..spouse, immediate family..etc.

Ok...rant over.

[tommygirl 0]

Kat,

I hear ya, I only told one person, my dh. I did'nt even want to tell him! Only because it is very personal, I don't want everyone scrutinizing and saying "should you be eating that?" But don't worry about everyone else, you will get there, like you said it did'nt happen overnight. Good Luck, you can do it!

[aaamom 0]

Kat~ I didn't want to deal with the food police, so I told a total of 3 people that I knew would just accept my decison and successes/failures:

DH/best friend/sister

when people start to bug you, tell them what you have told us-it took 25 years to get here so GIVE ME A BREAK !!!

Good Luck, you are doiing great

[mousecrazy 2]

I'm sorry you having to experience so much pressure! I think I would just smile (very sweetly), thank them for their interest in my health and well-being, and reply, "I am very happy with my progress! Thank you for noticing!"

If their (weird) purpose is to upset you, and you get upset, they win. Be enthusiastic and upbeat. That'll beat them everytime!

Take the offense, not the defense!

[ItsGottaGo! 0]

Ditto and WORD! I have that happening to me and I am only 6 weeks out. Give me a break here people! I'm tired of explaining how this is not like Gastic Bypass. Me and my big mouth!

[coltonwade 27]

Ditto and WORD! I have that happening to me and I am only 6 weeks out. Give me a break here people! I'm tired of explaining how this is not like Gastic Bypass. Me and my big mouth!

I think you hit the nail on the head right there. I think since Bypass is so public and more people know about it (or THINK they know ) and what they do know is that you loose wt very rapidly THAT"S what they are going by .

They judge the band by bypass . When i explain it to people I have noticed that they say " Oh so its not like bypass where you loose 100lbs in 6 months or something like that ? " that's the FIRST Thing they think of .

Im sorry your going through such a hard time. I think i told too many people at first than I should have. It never crossed my mind not to tell my parents , im a pretty open person . But I do get crap from them , the easy way out crap as well as some friends. NOW I just tell people I know will be supportive.

Good luck and try not to let them bother you your doing great

Mindy

[K@t 38]

Well, I only told my husband and his parents (he made me) and they told EVERYONE else. And now i have to deal with his ENTIRE family.

[*susan* 1,709]

I hear you K@t. I had originally only planned to tell my hubby, kids and parents. Next thing I know, my brother know, friends of the family know, etc. because my parents told everyone. I get emails from these people wanting to know how much I have lost. Like you, they think it should come off as fast as gastric bypass, so it is a bit annyoing. I thought I had made it clear I wanted it kept quiet, but you know how parents can be. Fortunately, I don't live near any of the people they know, so I am not monitored by the food police that much. I don't know why, but when several people at work started noticing I am losing weight, I just kind of told them what I had done. Fortunately, I don't socialize with any of them outside of work and it is more of a professional relationship. They will comment periodically that I am looking good, but that is the extent of it. They seem to respect my privacy on it and not bug me about it, thank goodness.

[Elisabethsew 50]

I only told two people about my surgery and that's how it remains to the present time. I've successfully lost (and regained) weight in the past and did not want to deal with people judging or monitoring me. A few people have noticed that I'm losing weight but I don't get the third degree yet of "how are you doing it." Being banded does not mean one doesn't have to work VERY hard to get the weight off. Unless you've been through it, you can't fully understand that concept. My advice is to keep the surgery PRIVATE.

[SherryW 4]

I didn't want others to know either. DH and I had talked about it and I explained to him I didn't want everyone staring at me and thinking she shouldn't eat that, can she have this, why isn't she drinking etc. I beat myself up enough I didn't need someone else doing it if I decided to have a cookie or a chip or something else "not diet food" like. So I asked him to not tell anyone else especially HIS family because they already scrootinized things I ate before. Nothing like going to your MIL house after not visiting for months only to hear "gee you gained weight" as soon as you stepped into the door. She'd say it to DH but, be looking at me too. I felt bad for him...here he was hugging her to say hello and that's what he got? Anyway...I told him not to tell. The last time we visited DH and I had both lost weight and all she could say was how much she had lost instead of congratulating him. (the heck with me, I don't care but, she's his mother she should say something nice about him losing 30 pounds cause you can really see it but, nope.) Anyway...I told DH, my boss because I was going to be out and she's a friend and my best friend of 17 years. All totally encouraged me and understood I needed to do this for me. Since the surgery and since the girls at work could tell I wasn't ordering much I explained after a while what I did. All have encouraged me so much and they keep saying they wouldn't be able to do it themselves. They see how little I eat and how I can't eat certain foods. That bothers them more than me and they understand it's working for me. But...my in-laws....they still don't know and I'm not telling them. My mom kinda blew it and told my brother and sister but, I don't see them enough to worry about what they think. I have noticed at work though with other people I don't hang around with...they mention how another girl at work that had bypass eats. I guess she's able to eat a whole 6'' sub bread and all or she'll be eating candy etc. They criticize how she can be eating that stuff etc. Well ya know people we have to live too, I don't judge her...let her do her her thing I say. Sooo right there and then I'm glad I never told them lol. People are too judgemental and I guess too sceptic for me to even bother telling them. When they ask how I'm losing, I don't lie...I say, I eat my Proteins first, then fruit and veggies and then carbs if there is room. It's the truth

[ralheit 0]

I have two neices who had bypass and of course lost a ton of weight in no time at all. So I get compared to them alot. I also get the question every week from my Mom, so how much have you lost now? I have explained to all of them, the difference between the surgeries, but somehow some people just don't get it. But I am pretty lucky, for the most part I get a lot of support and every pound is praised by all. And most understand that this is a slower process.

[losingjusme 12]

Well, I only told my husband and his parents (he made me) and they told EVERYONE else. And now i have to deal with his ENTIRE family.

K@t - sorry you are going thru a difficult time with others. i agree w/ the postings here, you are doing a great job and killing them with kindness is exactly what they are not expecting, so just grin and say i'm doing a great job.

i havent told my parents yet (will not volunteer the info, but if they ask i will not deny it), my in-laws however, i will never ever tell, even if they ask. they are so judgemental anyway and this would just give them more ammunition.

best of luck to you. you are doing an amazing job - do not let others get you down!

[carol134 0]

Ok, I'm in the ranting mood today. On top of my depression about my lack of band success....I'm going to bitch about all those people who look at me, 6 months out and are like....why aren't you skinny yet?

Hello...it took me my whole 25 year life to get where I am today...do they think in 6 months its all coming off?? I mean really.:mad: I wish I had never told ANYONE about the surgery. I'm tired of all the disapproving looks and of peoples questions of ...so exactly how much have you lost? And of my in laws (as sweet of people as they are) asking me EVERY WEEK...so how much have you lost this week? :straight

For those of you debating about whether or not to tell...don't. If no one knows then they can't have any expectations for your weight loss. Tell only the necessary people..spouse, immediate family..etc.

Ok...rant over.

Boy I can certainly relate to that!!! I can not believe the questions on how much weight have you lost...Here is what I have been saying maybe this will help you.

The other day someone ask "how much weight have you lost?" I replied by telling them the doc told me to throw the scale next door and let the neighbor worry about it, I got no reply from them, so that's what I say to everyone now. They actually have stopped asking!!!!:clap2:

[leatha_g 4]

I think I told my boss one day, about 2 months out ' about 2 oz more than the last time you ask, why? ' ... She never asked me again. lol. But, she was asking me weekly if not daily. I understand the frustration.

[carol134 0]

I'll have to use that one! lol I am so miserable right now if someone ask me how much weight I have lost I would deck them. I just got a fill last Monday and am going through some horrible pb's and can't eat nothing much at all! I am wondering if I should ride this out?