Denied, fighting depression.

[greensleeve 457]

So I realized the other reason why I'm so upset. Surgery is HUGE for me. As you can tell I don't like doctors or being in the medical/insurance system at all.

I have never had sugery other than oral. It took me nine months to make up my mind to do this. And even though I know it's the right decision, it's freakin surgery! I am scared. It's stressful for me to have that hanging over my head. I wanted to just do it so I can stop worrying about it.

These next few months are clear: no obligations, holidays, birthdays, or vacations. Now I have to worry about scheduling this possibly during the summer when our kids' schedules with our exes and camp are crazy.

I just really feel like its weighing on me and I don't want to spend six months worrying about it and whether I'll get approved. Maybe I need hypnosis to get me to stop being afraid.

Dammit.

[notime 340]

You can do this. I was the opposite of you. As long as the surgery was in the somewhat distant future, I was fine. The office called and scheduled the surgery early with only two weeks notice. Then I went into panic mode for about a day. Well, I did it and I am ecstatic. I'm looking forward to hearing your "after" stories.