OR story

[Lhollingsworth 54]

Ok so while I was being prepped for my operation I had two nurses prepping me. One was a tall brunet and the other was a blonde ( I say this as a reference point). So they were floating about doing their thing and a male employee popped into the room and said something to the brunet. It was clearly in a teasing manner and I heard him say something about "it being legal."

Cut to two minutes later and the brunet is back at my bed and she starts talking to me about what the guy said to her. She said " I probably shouldn't say this but... He teases me and tells me that I will never get a guy because I'm too picky, or to talkative or whatever. So early this week he suggested that I just dare women. Well I told him no that is so nasty!"

As if on cue my surgeon walks into the room and to my bed and says "Lydia will your partner be joining us today?"

That nurses face could have rivaled tomatoes. She was clearly flustered and didn't know what to do. Ten minutes later she composed herself and came over to apologize. She then continued to tell me about her gay friends and how she didn't mean it like that.

I finally stopped her and said "Of course it is nasty to you - you are straight. Just like I would imagine being with a man would probably be gross to me." It was the only humane thing to do.

I don't think she meant it with malice but I do think that she should have heeded her own advice and not said anything. I think it was a learning experience for her.

Would you have done anything differently? I mean had I not been preparing to go into surgery I think I would have been more assertive and had more to say. I co chair the GSDA with another teacher so I try allow for "teachable moments" and work toward tolerance. I just don't know if it taught her something or if I let her off the hook.

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[diamondkized 70]

i think that you handled it correctly. i am sure that she has stuck her foot in her mouth before and it was lucky that you were as nice as you were about it. people can be such asses!

[Nicolanz 1,484]

I'm sure the embarrassment was lesson enough! I would have done the same thing you did.

[Lorraine Freeman 47]

Ok so while I was being prepped for my operation I had two nurses prepping me. One was a tall brunet and the other was a blonde ( I say this as a reference point). So they were floating about doing their thing and a male employee popped into the room and said something to the brunet. It was clearly in a teasing manner and I heard him say something about "it being legal."

Cut to two minutes later and the brunet is back at my bed and she starts talking to me about what the guy said to her. She said " I probably shouldn't say this but... He teases me and tells me that I will never get a guy because I'm too picky' date=' or to talkative or whatever. So early this week he suggested that I just dare women. Well I told him no that is so nasty!"

As if on cue my surgeon walks into the room and to my bed and says "Lydia will your partner be joining us today?"

That nurses face could have rivaled tomatoes. She was clearly flustered and didn't know what to do. Ten minutes later she composed herself and came over to apologize. She then continued to tell me about her gay friends and how she didn't mean it like that.

I finally stopped her and said "Of course it is nasty to you - you are straight. Just like I would imagine being with a man would probably be gross to me." It was the only humane thing to do.

I don't think she meant it with malice but I do think that she should have heeded her own advice and not said anything. I think it was a learning experience for her.

Would you have done anything differently? I mean had I not been preparing to go into surgery I think I would have been more assertive and had more to say. I co chair the GSDA with another teacher so I try allow for "teachable moments" and work toward tolerance. I just don't know if it taught her something or if I let her off the hook.

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I think you did the right thing by leaving it. People make innocuous throw away comments all the time that aren't meant in an bigoted way. I believe that in the way that she was genuinely embarrassed by her own behaviour and the fact that she came back and apologised, shows that she did not mean any harm.

We have all at one point of our lives opened our mouths and said something we wished we hadn't. Save your anger for the people out there that are homophobes, and who would show no remorse or embarrassment about their statement. There are plenty out there.

This is just my opinion but I hope it helps. XXxxx

[Jlewis229 191]

GURRL! Idk how I would have reacted but I think i would have felt insulted. Actually I know I would. They have no business talking to patients about that sort of thing with patients! You did good though, I don't know if I could have kept my composure had I been told my sexuality is nasty.

[WillowAnn 7]

Well, if they gave you pre-op meds to relax you, maybe that helped you stay so calm! I think you did pretty well, and even though she certainly deserved a dressing-down, she might learn more from your tolerance. I may just be fooling myself, but I like to think that by just being out and easy about it, I am "changing hearts and minds" at my work.

I hope your surgery went well and that you are settling in OK. Best of luck!

[Kennedy310 33]

Sorry to hear that. What a crappy thing to have to deal with right before your surgery.

I think you handled it well given the timing of it all. No need to second guess yourself.

Good to hear she showed you the respect of apologizing. Although that "I have gay friends" is one very tired line. It's all on her in the end anyway, not you.

[WillowAnn 7]

Although that "I have gay friends" is one very tired line. It's all on her in the end anyway, not you.

Man, that sure is a tired old line!!! It's been used in the racism arena for decades! Probably goes back into deep history (how about "some of my best friends are Romans").

[VSGKirk 855]

All the nurses were drooling over my partner in the pre and post op areas. I was truly the most envied man in the place - but they were all extremely nice to me and would constantly give me mental high-fives every time he'd come back to visit. Sounds like you came out the winner on this one and I'm sure she'll never make that mistake again!