Telling workers or not... and rumors to come

[iggychic 1,405]

I know' date=' I know! Oh what a tangled web we weave , when we practice to deceive! I ended up with a leak and had to tell more lies about why I was so sick and in the hospital for so long. I probably should have told the truth, but I didn't have the guts and frankly was embarrassed that I had to resort to surgery to lose weight when I was only 22. I know I shouldn't be , I wish I had the confidence in myself that most people have on here.

I am really paranoid that something will happen with my gall bladder, but it's been five months and no issues yet . Trust me, this is a big fear of mine! Knock on wood. All I can do is hope and pray everything is fine with my gallbladder.

So yes, telling the truth is your best bet , but I was just sharing my experience as far as what I told my coworkers. They are VERY judgmental people.[/quote']

I know sometimes people get sensitive about age, so I didn't bring it up, but sleeveie...I'm 49, which helps a lot with being able to say "I don't care what people say". Years of experience does help with that and it's a fair thing for you to bring up. At 22 I probably would have approached it differently as well. Not a bad thing, just different life experiences making the decision easier

[ebonisekim 1,713]

I know' date=' I know! Oh what a tangled web we weave , when we practice to deceive! I ended up with a leak and had to tell more lies about why I was so sick and in the hospital for so long. I probably should have told the truth, but I didn't have the guts and frankly was embarrassed that I had to resort to surgery to lose weight when I was only 22. I know I shouldn't be , I wish I had the confidence in myself that most people have on here.

I am really paranoid that something will happen with my gall bladder, but it's been five months and no issues yet . Trust me, this is a big fear of mine! Knock on wood. All I can do is hope and pray everything is fine with my gallbladder.

So yes, telling the truth is your best bet , but I was just sharing my experience as far as what I told my coworkers. They are VERY judgmental people.[/quote']

I'm sorry to here that .. I had gallbladder out yrs ago I'm 29 only problem I have after getting it out I have dumping sometimes I've told a lot of ppl of my intentions in hope to help someone and now the font have to think its like yea I had the sleeve and ... When I do have so yea just be as honest as u can

[beba238 123]

That's amazing! Congrats! How do you feel?

Honestly I would just tell your coworkers. I did, and they have been super supportive. I did this for me, not for anyone else, and if they want to judge me or think I took the easy way out, let them. I don't care, I know how hard I tried to lose weight for the last 10 years to no avail, and this was the best option. I am 4 days post-op and am already off diabetes medication and am already down 10 lbs. Good luck on whatever you do.

[beba238 123]

Thank you so much! I know that after my surgery I will feel like telling people. People don't know our struggles.

I told 2 friends at work and a a general manager (just to let her know that soon i'll need some time off) and they weren't that

bad.

When i made my decision for surgery idk why i felt like keeping it on the down low but i've told 2 or 3 people and it wasn't that bad

until you hit the negative feedback! But I no longer care. I will tell my manager but i won't go into details until i feel like it after surgery.

I too struggled with that question...

I did not feel comfortable telling everyone my

personal business. Everyone is different and will

be able to make their own choice on how OR who

to tell, it is very normal.

I personally choose to tell only 2 people at work,

as I knew I was going to need their support when I

came back. Someone needed to know why I needed

to eat small bites and drink through out the day...

I am a restaurant manager and find it hard to step

off the floor to take care of myself...they will make sure

that I am taking care of what I need.

As for the rest of them...I simply told them I was having

a major Hiatal Hernia repair... (which I DID have)

this is the same laparoscopic procedure and same recovery time...

I know as I proceed through all my changes, I will include more

into my circle of trust...but that will be on MY term...NOT theirs...

I/You will be able to control some of the nasty gossip...

but work place gossip will always be there, control what you

can...the rest is not worth worrying about. I wish you the best

of luck...

[beba238 123]

I loved your 3 cents! Thanks i really appreciate it. You are right! I need to take control!!!

You know, I don't like to lie and yet I was going to hide this surgery. Life got in the way so I'm glad I didn't attempt to lie (I had major complications and was bedridden a couple of months as well as hospitalized several weeks). In my mind lying just leads you down another dirty path and really, why lie? If you were leaving for heart surgery would you keep it a secret?

I prefer to tell my secrets so that they don't become the fodder for gossip. It's no fun to gossip about the girl who told already I've always been this way and it's so much easier than getting trapped in a web of lies. You look like such a fool as well when it's clear you were lying, which hurts your credibility both in your personal life and work life. Go at it full force and embrace what you are doing and no one can have anything to gossip about except how good you look!

I will give you another perspective though....I am "the boss" and if I was told by a staff member that they needed to leave for medical reasons, aside from requiring the usual doctor waivers etc, the fact that you are going to be out or even why if I happened to know the details would NEVER pass my lips! NEVER NEVER NEVER! My answer would be "shes out for a couple of days" and nothing more. This is both a legal and ethical requirement of a boss. If you are worried and do consider it a secret, be sure to be very clear that you do not want this known by anyone.

That said, you will be acting differently at the office and might need more time off than you ask for if you have complications. Upfront and honest is the only way to be IMO as that will garner you support where as a lie will result in quite the opposite situation. Just my 3 cents Best of luck whatever you do.

[Traci J. 207]

That's amazing! Congrats! How do you feel?

I feel pretty good! I had it very easy apparently, I didn't need any pain meds after surgery, was up walking within a few.. The gas pain was bad in my shoulders, but I did shoulder rolls and it relieved it fairly quickly. Not hungry at all either, which is weird, because whenever my family eats and I smell the food, my mind says "should you be eating to", but my tummy says, "not interested". lol Good luck on your journey, you will do great!

[beba238 123]

Thank you so much... i've been so excited. I can't wait for my surgery! Good Luck!!!

I feel pretty good! I had it very easy apparently, I didn't need any pain meds after surgery, was up walking within a few.. The gas pain was bad in my shoulders, but I did shoulder rolls and it relieved it fairly quickly. Not hungry at all either, which is weird, because whenever my family eats and I smell the food, my mind says "should you be eating to", but my tummy says, "not interested". lol Good luck on your journey, you will do great!

[Sleevealicious 43]

I know sometimes people get sensitive about age' date=' so I didn't bring it up, but sleeveie...I'm 49, which helps a lot with being able to say "I don't care what people say". Years of experience does help with that and it's a fair thing for you to bring up. At 22 I probably would have approached it differently as well. Not a bad thing, just different life experiences making the decision easier [/quote']

You're right! I shouldn't care. Not caring so much what people think is definitely something I look forward to as I grow older , it would make a lot of things in life a lot easier

[Sleevealicious 43]

I'm sorry to here that .. I had gallbladder out yrs ago I'm 29 only problem I have after getting it out I have dumping sometimes I've told a lot of ppl of my intentions in hope to help someone and now the font have to think its like yea I had the sleeve and ... When I do have so yea just be as honest as u can

Well that's good you won't have to worry about any gall bladder issues after the surgery yeah, honesty is the best policy. Telling the lie is on my list of regrets now. Maybe I will come clean about what I really had done, I just don't want to be seen as a liar now. I am usually very honest, it was just something I felt insecure about.

[*Dean* 1,594]

Everyone has to make their own decision on this but for me, it's the truth all the way.

I didn't want WLS to become my dirty little secret. Nobody can judge me until they've walked in my shoes. I'm proud of my decision to tackle my chronic weight problem head on.

Most people have been VERY supportive at work. Others have mostly kept their mouths shut which is good because they're either going to support me in this or say something stupid

Do what's best for you. Having said that I've never heard anyone on here who has got into a pickle by telling the truth

Good luck,

Deano

[beba238 123]

Thanks Dean! Great job on your weight loss! I really don't plan on lying. I just don't like people being in my business! There are a lot of annoying co-workers!

Everyone has to make their own decision on this but for me, it's the truth all the way.

I didn't want WLS to become my dirty little secret. Nobody can judge me until they've walked in my shoes. I'm proud of my decision to tackle my chronic weight problem head on.

Most people have been VERY supportive at work. Others have mostly kept their mouths shut which is good because they're either going to support me in this or say something stupid

Do what's best for you. Having said that I've never heard anyone on here who has got into a pickle by telling the truth

Good luck,

Deano

[lakobe00 63]

I told my office what I was doing.....I'm working on a better me and those of them that doesn't agree or want to talk behind my back can kiss my new small a$$....LOL!!

[sr910 55]

Okay, first off I don't think your decision to have WLS should be considered a "dirty little secret" and choosing to not tell people shouldn't be looked at as, "Ooh, you're a liar and terrible person."

People I work with are vicious. If you don't tell them, they'll all try and guess, come to a concensus, then spread rumors of what they suspect is going on.

You do tell them, and they all gossip and judge about it.

I'm going to leave it as simple as possible -- "I have a medical issue that requires surgery, and I'll be out for this many weeks." Period.

If you want to tell people, great. I'm sure you will have some supportive people. But you'll likely have judgmental people that are going to question your decision -- and the only way to avoid those people is to not include them in your personal matters. Just be prepared for that.

Sorry I don't mean to offend anyone -- this has just been my experience in 8+ years with a large government employer...