Not Telling People....

[O.T.R. sleever 3,386]

my sister on the other hand responded as if I was taking the easy way out...really? Major surgery is NOT the easy way out! !

Umm, sure it is. We have already proven to ourselves (and everybody else) that we dont have what it takes to stick to the diet & exercise thing on our own. Many of us have tried every other gimmick under the sun to lose weight, and failed. We are food addicts (most of us anyhow). If there were a surgery that could cure alcohol, drug, gambling, or porn addictions would there be any objections to using those surgeries? I think not. We have a weakness when it comes to food. Therefore we NEED help. We need this to be as "easy" as it can be. And let me tell you, after over 6 months with my sleeve, when your stomachs capacity is 6-8oz total, it's pretty damn easy to not eat a 16oz steak, or a whole pizza, or 4 slices of cheesecake.

When someone makes the remark "that's the easy way" I have to agree. Last I checked we are always searching out easier ways of doing almost everything.

Cars are so much easier than bicycles

The Internet is easier than encyclopedias

Tractors are easier than a horse & plow

Debit cards are easier than writing checks or carrying cash

Pre prepared foods are easier than scratch cooking

Since when is making something easier a bad thing?

[Joy0125 95]

It is totally and completely your decision as an individual. No one can tell you what you should do. Just know that whatever you do it was the right decision for you! Good luck:)

[N/A 96]

I had surgery on Sept. 19th. I shared with three friends only. (Two of them are married to each other and the husband had gastric bypass himself three years ago).

I did not tell my family, children, friends or coworkers. I told my employer that I had thyroid surgery to explain my 2.5 weeks medical leave. My family lives out of state so we don't get together much due to distance and expense. The last time we all were together was in July and I was 239 at that point. My friends and I live over two hours apart which sadly we don't get together as often as we wish, so our get togethers are rare. Life is so busy.

All this has made the transition very smooth keeping the surgery private. People at work are noticing my over 50 lb weight loss and asking if I am losing weight and are complimenting. I have posted recent pictures on Facebook which I avoided always before and have received compliments. Because I don't see my family and friends very often, its easy to explain the weight loss by eating much smaller portions and watching what I eat. No-one is aware of how rapid its been other than the co-workers I work daily with.

My kids have noticed but think I am on a diet of sorts. It motivated my 21 year old daughter to lose a bit of weight and my 14 year old twins haven't paid too much attention.

Bottom line, keeping my explanations brief and people thinking its gradual weight loss has emotionally made this journey so much easier for me. I get frustrated over the stalls like everyone else because I lose inches slowly so my pants size hasn't dropped as fast as I would like which would make a bigger impact visually but I'll get there.

[bbbslady 18]

I was the same way. I told a select few those that i knew would be happy for me. One friend tho i had to check because people try to say well i lost weight and i didn't have surgery I'm like ya but for how long and i told her most people want to and feel jelous that they can't

[N/A 96]

Why the *^!* would you not tell your kids?????

There are reasons for not telling my kids right now. Have you been raised with separated or divorced parents criticizing the other parent to the child/ren? Its so hard on the kids. This is one less bullet my kids have to hear from their father re: me.

[Bos123 221]

There are reasons for not telling my kids right now. Have you been raised with separated or divorced parents criticizing the other parent to the child/ren? Its so hard on the kids. This is one less bullet my kids have to hear from their father re: me.

I agree, I didn't tell mine either, plus I didn't want them worrying about me. These little guys have enough on their plate already!

[dezilou 18]

Even people on this board, who don't know you in "real life" are trying to make you justify your reasons for telling whomever you choose to tell, or not to tell. Here you can click off and walk away, it's not that simple in real life. Why does someone's decision to share or not share an intimate detail of their life matter to complete strangers? Do you. Don't criticize or try to guilt others with words like truth, lies, and liar. Everyone's truth is relative to their own journey. You can't judge how any one walks their path.

[jen1211 203]

I have told people as I go, not everyone knows at work yet but most of my friends and family know. My start weight was 325 so it's not like people won't know anyway. I also believe that for me it adds a little accountability. I don't want to be known for being a failed wls like some other people I work with. Everyone needs to do what is best for themselves though. If you don't want to tell, stick as close to the truth as possible!

[Sadlers1999 169]

My husband and I were open about the surgery with our 8 and 10 year olds. My 8-year old told me that he loved me the way I was and that I shouldn't get the surgery. I told him that I wanted to be healthier for him and his siblings (because I am an older parent of young kids...2, 4, 8, 10...I keep repeating this because not everyone sees your original threads). I said it was a risk, but I said it was a "calculated" risk because other than being heavy and having hypothyroidism, I had no co-morbidities. I didn't use these words with the kids. It was all simplified. The surgery was not about looking pretty. The great irony of me being the heaviest that I have ever been is that unlike when my BMI was in the high 20s/low 30s, I would NOT wear a bathing suit. After having kids, with a BMI in the upper 30s/low 40s, I said, "To hell with this," and bought a huge bathing suit so I could take my kids to public swimming pools. I just blocked out in my mind what I could look like to other people, because my kids mattered more. I agree with everyone else who posted that it is a personal decision to tell people or whom to tell. For me, though, I know that the people who matter most (family and close friends) have seen what a battle it has been for me for 30 years. I even have a close friend (a woman) whose BMI is probably around 17. Very skinny. She and I have been exercise buddies for over a year. We also bond on organic foods and cooking things from scratch and we look totally different. So, I think if I started losing weight and then around month 4 started losing hair, more people might think I suffered from cancer/chemo than anything else.

On a different note, in telling people, I found it disconcerting that so many people are used to SEEING morbidly obese people that a lot of them did not think that I was big enough to be qualified under insurance. My husband is ten pounds overweight, but to most people he looks "skinny" because he is tall and if he wears a suit, you can't see his waistline. Most Americans do not understand how overweight we are as a society.

[BigMommaNoMore 41]

For me' date=' I find it a cop out.

1) Why wouldn't I want to give credit to the tool that helped change my life?

2) If what others say about it bothers me, then that's something I need to overcome and take control of. Not run from it.

3) People knowing helps keep me honest. I don't want to be "that guy" who had WLS and still couldn't keep the weight off.

4) I want to help other morbidly obese people. Not under the fake pretense of me losing the weight all on my own. But with the truth. That this surgery can change their life too.[/quote']

I agree 100%. If I could help just one person know that it was alright to need help to be healthy and that the surgery was the key for me then i want the world to know. I tell everybody that asks. I have so many people want details because they want to do something similar but so nor know where to start. I'm not embarrassed that I had to purchase a tool to improve my health and loose the excess weight. I'm proud it was available to me.

[dezilou 18]

LOL "intimate" detail? Yeah were asking about your vagina. No' date=' were not.[/quote']

Anything I consider private and personal is intimate to ME. I know it's hard to believe, but a word can have more than one definition and meaning.

[dezilou 18]

Or you're just being ridiculous.

That's your opinion.

[amytug 996]

Some people are just more private than others.

Guess what? That's perfectly fine. Not everyone is just like you.

Thank goodness.

[*susan* 1,709]

Please, everyone, be POLITE, be RESPECTFUL and please do not be rude or inappropriate. As adults, everyone should be able to argue in an adult manner and without attacking others.

[Dianne38 81]

Please' date=' everyone, be POLITE, be RESPECTFUL and please do not be rude or inappropriate. As adults, everyone should be able to argue in an adult manner and without attacking others.[/quote']

Why wont you just block Fishy....he makes the entire site look bad. He doesnt get that you are talking to him and his nastiness....maybe if you would direct your message to the person it is meant for.