HOW TO FIX "mental" BEFORE SURGERY

[Jessica9190 127]

Ok I had my last dr visit before surgery today and my surgery is scheduled for Jan 10.

I have a lot of personal issues and emotional issues that I tend to lean on food for comfort. I want to address that BEFORE surgery. How to I do that? Any suggestions?

I have self esteem issues, work issues, marriage issues, kid issues. Problems same as anyone but I want to find something other than food to help.

[desert19 93]

Get professional counseling of some kind. I went to quite a bit before surgery and after. It really helps to have someone to work things through with.

[Geminidrive 389]

You probably could benefit seeing a therapist to help you work through all of your issues. Good luck.

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

I highly suggest seeking a qualified therapist to help with these issues........

[920amy 409]

Jessica,

have you talked to your psychologist about this? Have you thought about getting counselling to work through the issues you are experiencing? Sadly the statistics are not good as far as 'transferance addictions' and VSG. Some people can turn to alcohol, some to gambling, and some to shopping. Also, some people still over eat, and then vomit often. I am not saying any of these things will happen to you, but unfortunately they can. The only advise that I can give you is to try taking to a counselour now so start working on these things so hopefully you can make your life better, and avoid having such a tough time before you get the VSG. Good luck!!

[elektrik_rose 63]

Warning: I just wrote a book...LOL!!!

I have all those issues as well. I was sleeved last week and I will tell you what everybody has told me...EVERYTHING CHANGES!!!!!!

My work issues...I've decided not to care anymore. My blood pressure is lower now (I didn't start blood pressure meds until I started this job). I used to worry if I was going to lose my job everyday and I'm the best damn employee in my department. I'm over it and I only care about my check. If I lose my job, I always bounce back and find something better within a month and on a positive note, I have more experience to add to my resume.

My Kids...Yesterday we sat down and reorganized our way of doing things at night (bath-time, checking homework, getting ready for the next day, etc.) If I want to be a better person, I want my kids to be better little people too.

My boyfriend of 8 years (never married)...I decided its time to drop the dead weight next month. I don't care if I'm single for the next 20 years, I am a better me when he's not around. I've put up with so much it's ridiculous. It is taking him way too long to grow up. The final straw was seeing how much he 'cared' about my recovery. He hasn't done anything for our household. Hasn't cooked a meal, cleaned, asked me if I needed anything. I returned to work today. I don't need him now. I was just amazed at the level of support he gave me, which was NONE.

And last but most certainly not least, self-esteem...You are fabulous and guess what, you will be even more fabulous after you have the surgery and start losing weight. I've only lost 10lbs since surgery last week, but I lost myself when I gained all that weight. I want me back.

Those issues will resolve itself. You just keep being the best you, you can be and it will all fall into place. If you ever need to talk, I'm here.

[Jessica9190 127]

@elektrik- thank you for the long post. I appreciated knowing I can come here to talk or vent.

I am just so worried nothing will change. I have list weight many times without the tool but when I get stressed I EAT my weight back up. I want to address it now before I sabotage myself.

My husband is selfish. He doesn't say anything negative per say about the surgery except that he would never do it. He is about 80-90 lbs overweight. He doesn't support me either though. He just says whatever you want to do.

Work is a bunch of drama and I couldn't even tell them what surgery I was having because my boss would have treated me differently. When I told him I have an ulcer he even said "I just wanted to be sure it wasn't voluntary surgery". I work for a large corporation and technically he wasn't even supposed to be asking me anything but he did. Most of the time he is a pretty good boss though. I work with too many other women and women can be so mean and troublemakerish.

My kids are awesome but they need me and I worry about them.

I grew up with a mother that was 300+ lbs and my dad always had a big issue with her weight. I think that's why I feel so low about myself when I'm heavy like no one would ever want someone as fat as me.

I just want to deal with all this.

[Back2Me2012 23]

Warning: I just wrote a book...LOL!!!

I have all those issues as well. I was sleeved last week and I will tell you what everybody has told me...EVERYTHING CHANGES!!!!!!

My work issues...I've decided not to care anymore. My blood pressure is lower now (I didn't start blood pressure meds until I started this job). I used to worry if I was going to lose my job everyday and I'm the best damn employee in my department. I'm over it and I only care about my check. If I lose my job' date=' I always bounce back and find something better within a month and on a positive note, I have more experience to add to my resume.

My Kids...Yesterday we sat down and reorganized our way of doing things at night (bath-time, checking homework, getting ready for the next day, etc.) If I want to be a better person, I want my kids to be better little people too.

My boyfriend of 8 years (never married)...I decided its time to drop the dead weight next month. I don't care if I'm single for the next 20 years, I am a better me when he's not around. I've put up with so much it's ridiculous. It is taking him way too long to grow up. The final straw was seeing how much he 'cared' about my recovery. He hasn't done anything for our household. Hasn't cooked a meal, cleaned, asked me if I needed anything. I returned to work today. I don't need him now. I was just amazed at the level of support he gave me, which was NONE.

And last but most certainly not least, self-esteem...You are fabulous and guess what, you will be even more fabulous after you have the surgery and start losing weight. I've only lost 10lbs since surgery last week, but I lost myself when I gained all that weight. I want me back.

Those issues will resolve itself. You just keep being the best you, you can be and it will all fall into place. If you ever need to talk, I'm here.[/quote']

This was so well put!!!! I am definitely taking some of your advice, & I look forward to when I am losing weight & feeling good.. I too feel like I'm just not ME in this body.. & I know that will change & my motivation to keep it off will be that much stronger!!!! Thank you for writing the book!!! You just took away any last minute doubts I had about doing this!!!! My surgery is Monday morning!!!

[elektrik_rose 63]

@Jessica9091 Your husband sounds like my boyfriend minus the weight. I'm actually with someone who's underweight, but he was an alcoholic for several years, so I supported him through his time of need, as I still do. I honestly think he may need counseling.

I also work for a big corp. My boss knew about my surgery. I was terrified to tell her, but I felt so much better after I did. My problem is with 2 other chicks. I don't understand why they still have a job. It can be so unprofessional at times.

I always turn to food for comfort too, but I haven't been able to do that lately, so I'm always out and walking around. It seems to work. I joined a gym too. Haven't been in a couple weeks, but I'm there as soon as I have energy when I get off from work.

[Ballermom 803]

Warning: I just wrote a book...LOL!!!

I have all those issues as well. I was sleeved last week and I will tell you what everybody has told me...EVERYTHING CHANGES!!!!!!

My work issues...I've decided not to care anymore. My blood pressure is lower now (I didn't start blood pressure meds until I started this job). I used to worry if I was going to lose my job everyday and I'm the best damn employee in my department. I'm over it and I only care about my check. If I lose my job, I always bounce back and find something better within a month and on a positive note, I have more experience to add to my resume.

My Kids...Yesterday we sat down and reorganized our way of doing things at night (bath-time, checking homework, getting ready for the next day, etc.) If I want to be a better person, I want my kids to be better little people too.

My boyfriend of 8 years (never married)...I decided its time to drop the dead weight next month. I don't care if I'm single for the next 20 years, I am a better me when he's not around. I've put up with so much it's ridiculous. It is taking him way too long to grow up. The final straw was seeing how much he 'cared' about my recovery. He hasn't done anything for our household. Hasn't cooked a meal, cleaned, asked me if I needed anything. I returned to work today. I don't need him now. I was just amazed at the level of support he gave me, which was NONE.

And last but most certainly not least, self-esteem...You are fabulous and guess what, you will be even more fabulous after you have the surgery and start losing weight. I've only lost 10lbs since surgery last week, but I lost myself when I gained all that weight. I want me back.

Those issues will resolve itself. You just keep being the best you, you can be and it will all fall into place. If you ever need to talk, I'm here.

Congrats to Elektrik_Rose

Love love your post!