Surgery & Relationships

[JPSnAZ 33]

I am pre-op but have been wondering how having surgery and losing a lot of weight has affected your relationships, specifically with your significant other. Ive heard many things on how divorce rates are high with people who have had WLS and this really scares me. I feel like losing weight will make things better in so many ways!!!

What have been your experiences?? I know all relationships are different but Im still curious to know.

[SunnyCox 245]

I didn't think that my relationship with my SO would change, but it has in an odd way. I am much more concerned with how I look, and in return, I want him to look good too. I've been buying more shoes and clothes, and I have my hair and make up done when I leave the house. My SO, admittedly, has no fashion since, so I buy his clothes and shoes too. I am more concerned with how he looks when we go out too. Otherwise, it hasn't changed. We have been together for several years. We have a very easy going, open relationship. He was not one of those people who love BBW, but he doesn't prefer very skinny women. We haven't had any issue directly related to weight, and the attention I get now that I am thinner. He gets a lot of compliments on how pretty I am, and he eats it up.

My bigger fear is my relationship with my best friend. She is also heavy and has no desire to have WLS. I was at that point a few years ago. I thought I could do it on my own, and I wouldn't consider surgery. I am a few years older than her. I didn't tell her I was having surgery, and she started dieting a few weeks before I had surgery. We lost about the same amount of weight for the first five months. Then, she slacked off, and I passed her by 15lbs now. I haven't seen her in a month, but I have a feeling that she has gained some. She is super competitive, and I don't want to lose my friend over something as stupid as body fat and jealousy.

[C_TimesThree 64]

I'm also so concerned about my relationship with my husband, he wasn't 100% on board when I first started considering surgery, though he's beyond supportive now.

[JPSnAZ 33]

Ive been watching some youtube videos of people that have had WLS and a lot of them said that their SO liked bigger girls and werent attracted to them when they lost weight and thats what ultimately ended their relationships. I know I wont have that problem! But still, theres a multitude of other things that could pop up unexpectedly.

But Im not going to let the fear of the unknown stop me from having VSG!!

[Wolfgirl1978 256]

My relationship with my husband was not healthy or a good one before I had surgery. I definitely would not blame my lost weight on me leaving him, there were a lot of issues. Luckily we have been married for less than a year, have no property together, and no children together. I'm patiently waiting for the required 6 month separation to come around in March and things will be final.

[SleeveNZ 219]

I was a boyfriend of 6 years and went on a weight loss pill and lost around 90lbs. He never complimented my weight loss and would make remarks about how I looked better before. It was just him being insecure but this led me to ending the relationship. Then at the low weight I had achieved shortly after I met my current partner who I recently have had a baby with. I gained all the weight back over 3 years. We decided on surgery together after i suggested it- he also funded the majority of it. He couldn't be more supportive!! Even joining in on the exercise with me. 6 weeks out I have lost quite a bit and things are already better between us. So I think a lot has to do with your weight at the beginning of the relationship and inferiority and superiority complexes.

[C_TimesThree 64]

I would hope the weight you were when you met your partner would play a role in how well your relationship does with the changes of surgery, that's a scary thought.

[Ballermom 803]

I too was very concerned about that same thing in the beginning . but once I took him to my psych appointment and involve him more, I stopped worrying. He became very supportive. I think it'll be fine. I made the decision to keep moving forward Regardless.