Not Really Living

[BB145 34]

I find myself just shuffling through my life, dreaming about surgery. I'm just trying to get through the days trying to rush time along. I find myself not enjoying the present, certainly not enjoying the holiday season, just looking to the future. I even find mysel thinking "I'll feel differently" about this or that situation after I have surgery. I'm so sick of being miserable and just want to move forward, to live for real. I've already been there once and I know what I'm missing. I still don't know for sure if insurance will pay for a revision and it's driving me nuts. At least if I knew they would pay, I could at least make plans. This limbo business is driving me nuts!! I just want to go back to being healthy and feel better physically. I feel self conscious and inadequate everyday even though I'm the same person I was a year ago inside. I'm still smart and successful, but constantly feel that people are judging me for my weight. It's exhausting. I find myself just wanting to hide and that's no way to live. Of course I suppose that's the point of this post, I'm not living just existing. How sad...

[sramos89 260]

I hope you get your approval soon. It is so hard being unhappy in your skin, I know, I lived it all of my life and only found success since the sleeve. Good Luck to you! Holidays are hard- keep your head up and try and do the small things that make you happy!

[sexxy219 41]

You said again!!! How much did u regain!!! And r u willing to make the change permanent this time!!! I'll pray you and please cheer up!!!

[Happy2BSleeved 9]

I feel exactly the way you do.

[BB145 34]

Just for the record I'm not going to jump off a bridge or anything, some days are just harder than others. :-) For those of you who have supportive comments, Thanks. It's just nice to know I'm not alone. Life is hard enough!

[newcharnise13 2]

I feel the same way. I go to my first seminar tomorrow and I feel like I want this so bad and I keep thinking about everything that can go wrong. I think, dream, and talk about it everyday. I wanted to get it 2 yrs. ago but I ended up getting pregnant and was told I had to wait for a year because I had a c section. So here we are a year later and I'm so ready. I feel like I'm so close but also so far away from the biggest life changing experience in my life.

[BB145 34]

I feel the same way. I go to my first seminar tomorrow and I feel like I want this so bad and I keep thinking about everything that can go wrong. I think' date=' dream, and talk about it everyday. I wanted to get it 2 yrs. ago but I ended up getting pregnant and was told I had to wait for a year because I had a c section. So here we are a year later and I'm so ready. I feel like I'm so close but also so far away from the biggest life changing experience in my life.[/quote']

I know, it's driving me nuts! If I just knew, one way or the other, I could handle it better. Even if I had a wait, if I knew the date or even month, I'd relax a little bit! :-/. Good luck to you!! Keep us posted. :-).