Most important preop question of all...

[orthoman 114]

Ive been "lurking" on this forum for weeks, and I appreciate all of the input from all of the great people out there. I have been through it all trying to decide on the right procedure. At first I was all about the lap band, but through lots of research I've decided on the sleeve, and mine is scheduled for three days after christmas. I'm 5'10 male and weigh 256. Ive had a lot of trouble with my weight over the last 5 years or so. Oh, and I happen to be a doctor.

I guess the thing that is bothering me the most is the fact that I have always had a very large appetite, and I simply can't fathom the change that is supposed to happen there and I can't quite get my mind around the change that my surgeon is saying will happen after the surgery. I can't seem to imagine a time where food is no longer a driving force in my life?

So my first question is this : for all people that have had the sleeve at least three months, are you finding that your changed relationship with the way you think about food - is this at all a source of sadness in your life? Do you look at what other people are eating and wish that you could go back to enjoying food like that (and occasionally in those quantities?) Do you sit down to a restarant meal with friends or family and wish that you didn't have to eat in such a "wierd" manner that surely must draw attention to you? Do other people find that the way you eat now is strange? Does it in any way affect your dining experience? The way my surgeon says it, it's like a switch goes off, and food just simply is not as important to you as it once was. He told me it's like trying to tell a guy (sorry if this is crass, ladies) that after a surgery he is simply just not going to be nearly as interested in sex any more - it's such a natural part of our lives and thought processes, that you simply cannot prepare for how your mind changes after the surgery. He says that you simply wake up after the operation a different person when it comes to food. Do you guys find this to be accurate? I know that was actually a lot of questions, but I have not seen these types of subjects on this forum.

The most important preop question of all in my opinion is,

For all of you who have had the surgery at least 6 months ago, would you really, truly do it all over again?

[amytug 996]

I'm PRE op but I'd like to offer a little.

I've never seen anyone at a year or so out say they regret surgery. EVER. even The ones that had complications.

Also, how do you feel after you eat large quantities. I don't know about you but I "usually" feel guilty, dirty, lame and ashamed. I will NOT MISS those feelings at ALL.

I am ESTATIC about surgery, and being free from this prison of food addiction.

[Giselle3264 175]

YES, YES, and YES! Your question is very valid and very important. I've had my sleeve since July and I'm still adjusting to a lifestyle that is different than any other I've had before. I have envied others at the table who are eating everything they ordered. Although no one has commented on my eating habits being odd. They envy what they thought was my self-control. I have been disappointed after preparing a wonderful, albeit small, meal and only being able to eat a few bites. When I'm stressed, I miss the relief and comfort I got from food. But since my pre-op diet in May, surgery in July, I've lost 80 pounds. I exercise and eat properly and I've never been happier. THIS is why I had the surgery. We never get it all, do we? And we tend to mourn lost relationships, even ones not good for us. So it's a matter of priorites and this is what I wanted more than the relationship with food. My only regret is not having done it years ago.

Good luck to you and welcome to the forum.

[Momonanomo 534]

I'm looking forward to the responses because I'm also preop.

From what I'm reading here at VST, what you describe is largely the case. Not always, everyone is of course going to be slightly different, and maybe that has to do with how far out from surgery they are. And then there's the issue of true hunger vs head hunger. But as far as real hunger, the hormone grehlin, the hunger hormone, is produced mostly in the lining of the stomach and it's thought to be the culprit for out of control appetite for food. Since the sleeve removes the majority of the stomach, less grehlin is in the body. I know that, for me, this is precisely why I've chosen the sleeve over the other WLS available (well this and some of the complications/side effects that are common with the other WLS and are not with the sleeve)

[michellebelle 10]

I had surgery 12 weeks ago and I do not regret it. You do morn the loss of food for a few weeks, but I got over that real quick as I healed and could eat more of a variety of things and be full quick. I have lost 46 pounds and feel energized.

[orthoman 114]

Giselle,

I really really liked your very wise comment about how we mourn past relationships, even the ones that are not good for us!

So, so true!!

I think I am already mourning what is about to become my past relationship with food.

80 pounds gone since July - that is simply incredible.

That is undoubtedly a very wise comment that I will take with me in the coming year. Thank you!

[Squisha 99]

I am 8.5 months out. I am down 113lbs and would have surgery again in a heartbeat. But no i didn't wake up from surgery feeling like a different person. I still love food, but I am happier and satisified with a lot less. When I am out and watch others eat I can't believe I used to eat that much an more. I think the way I eat now is more normal than the way I ate before.

[New1 201]

I did feel an immense sadness in the weeks immediately following surgery. My mind felt on fire with thoughts of wanting to eat. I also ate mostly for comfort and it took me many weeks to adjust psychologically to the fact that it is not physically possible to fill my emotional needs with food now. I did try several times to over eat with the same result, vomiting!!! I can't tell you for sure when the head hunger eased for me but I am 9 months out today and I have a totally different relationship with food. I would totally do this again. The weight loss is awesome but for me the ability to have food be in its proper place in relation to everything else the world has to offer is priceless.

[PdxMan 4,292]

17+ months out here. This is a common question. How do you fundamentally change your relationship with food just by having a surgery? Yes, you can limit your intake, but it takes awhile for the mind to catch up. Yes, there is some mourning which occurs after awhile, but then you see the scale move and the pants slip off your hips and things begin to just get better.

There is a change, for sure, but for me, I wanted a change. Needed a change, so I was ready for it. I don't regret my decision in the least. It was exactly what I needed because I, too, loved to eat large quantities and snack constantly. I love the feeling of being full and that feeling is still satisfied with the sleeve. It just occurs much quicker than it did before. I can eat whatever I want. Last weekend I went out with the wife and had lobster tail, asparagus and scalloped potatoes. Very limited quantity, but I was completely sated. It was great. Had more for lunch the next day.

When I am out with friends or co-workers, I ask for a to-go container when I order. As soon as my meal arrives, I quickly toss in no less than two thirds of the portion and spread the remaining around my plate. I gingerly eat my meal and nobody notices a thing. It has never been a problem.

I no longer crave food and snacking is not a part of my life anymore. I know ... sounds crazy, but it is true. I eat to live, not live to eat.

[*susan* 1,709]

At over three years out, I can honestly say I have not once regretted this surgery. I feel better, I look better, I am healthier and my confidence has improved ten fold. What was important for me was to really change my mindset. I was very much a volume eater. Sure, there were and still are times when I turn to food in response to stress, depression, etc. But, in being honest with you and myself, my main problem was I just love food, especially the yummy tasting, not so good for me foods. So, I have had to retrain myself. I have had to work on tracking every bite I put in my mouth. I love my sleeve because with it I can eat anything I want. However, I don't allow myself those special "wants" until I have eaten a healthy amount of Protein, dairy, fruits and vegetables for the day. And when I am eating something I especially love, and feel a bit jealous because others are able to eat more, or upset because I want to eat more even though I know it will make me miserable, I just have to remind myself that it's okay, I had some, I enjoyed it and now I can stop because I know I will be able to enjoy this food again another day. I don't have to binge on it, because it isn't like this is the last time this food will ever be available to me.

In the first six months to a year, aka "the honeymoon phase" I really had no interest in food. I never thought that would be possible, but it does really happen. There were times I actually forgot to eat! Holy moly, me, forget to eat? No way! But, I did. Food no longer held the same power over me. Now, at my present stage, I can honestly say I still don't experience what I believe to be real hunger, just the old demon of head hunger. I think I want something, even though I'm not hungry. When that happens, I drink a glass of Water or eat a piece of fruit and that usually satisfies me.

So, yes, no regrets and my sleeve is till working for me at over three years out and I happily and confidently recommend it to anyone considering weight loss surgery.

Sent from my iPad using VST

[suepeeps 230]

I am just over 3 months out. I see the foods that I love and am completely satisfied after taking just 1 bite! I never believed this would happen for me.

Last night a friend (who was sleeved on Oct 30) and I went to the support group meeting. It is about 1 1/2 hrs away so we went out to dinner afterwards. We ordered the shrimp appetizer. It had 8 medium sized shrimp. We each ate only 4 and were stuffed. As we saw plates going by with mountains of food we both commented on what an incredilble amount of food it was and it was hard to believe we ever ate that much!

My problem has always been Portion Control and the sleeve has absoultely solved that problem for me. This is the best decision I have ever made!

Keep a positive attitude and just follow the directions of the bariatric team. I have never thrown up or felt sick. It has been so good for me. I am so happy and wish I would have done it long ago!

Good luck to you.

[amytug 996]

At over three years out' date=' I can honestly say I have not once regretted this surgery. I feel better, I look better, I am healthier and my confidence has improved ten fold. What was important for me was to really change my mindset. I was very much a volume eater. Sure, there were and still are times when I turn to food in response to stress, depression, etc. But, in being honest with you and myself, my main problem was I just love food, especially the yummy tasting, not so good for me foods. So, I have had to retrain myself. I have had to work on tracking every bite I put in my mouth. I love my sleeve because with it I can eat anything I want. However, I don't allow myself those special "wants" until I have eaten a healthy amount of Protein, dairy, fruits and vegetables for the day. And when I am eating something I especially love, and feel a bit jealous because others are able to eat more, or upset because I want to eat more even though I know it will make me miserable, I just have to remind myself that it's okay, I had some, I enjoyed it and now I can stop because I know I will be able to enjoy this food again another day. I don't have to binge on it, because it isn't like this is the last time this food will ever be available to me.

In the first six months to a year, aka "the honeymoon phase" I really had no interest in food. I never thought that would be possible, but it does really happen. There were times I actually forgot to eat! Holy moly, me, forget to eat? No way! But, I did. Food no longer held the same power over me. Now, at my present stage, I can honestly say I still don't experience what I believe to be real hunger, just the old demon of head hunger. I think I want something, even though I'm not hungry. When that happens, I drink a glass of Water or eat a piece of fruit and that usually satisfies me.

So, yes, no regrets and my sleeve is till working for me at over three years out and I happily and confidently recommend it to anyone considering weight loss surgery.

Sent from my iPad using VST[/quote']

It was SO SO good to hear from someone so far out, Ty so much for this!!! I binge frequently on food and think about it constantly. I pray that I have the same success as you!!

[Vidalia 122]

I am only a month out, but I am thinking of my new relationship with food sort of like breaking up with a bad boyfriend. We had our good times, but "he" hurt me and was not good for me, so I am moving on. The new relationship with food I am now experiencing is so strange to me. I am not hungry at all, but sometimes wish that I was hungry. I do miss the pleasure that food used to bring to me, because now it does not really bring me pleasure. I just eat because I know I need to. Very strange feeling. As I am beginning to lose weight (21 pounds so far), I am beginning to see my mourning for food as a trade off for the weight loss. I believe as I lose more and more I will care less and less about the feeling that food used to bring me. It's really hard to explain. Even though I am experiencing this mourning for food right now, I still have NO regrets. Every time I am able to take a good, deep breath (which I could not a month ago) I am thankful for my decision.

[fatiniowa 10]

First of all guys like sex! If you get all the nutrition that you need I bet you will have a similar or better sex drive that you have now.

For food and feelings I do get annoyed that I can't eat much. I have found that if I over do it that I vomit. I like to dine out and the wait staff gives strange looks. An example would be that I went to Chilis last week. Had just the meat from one half of the turkey sandwich and a couple bites of the bread. Had to pack up the side and the other half a sandwich and take it home, the waitress gave a look like I got sick or didn't like the food. On the way home had to stop on the freeway onramp and vomit. Went to Texas Road house last night. Had a few peanuts and 1 chicken strip and ate the steamed vegitables. Took home the rest and with 4 strips and my other side and the bread un touched it looked like I had eaten nothing.

So I get annoyed more than anything that I have to eat so little and avoid eating with family or people I don't want to know that I had this done.

I met a guy at the bar and was invited out for 2 am food at the mexian restaurant. Had a small chicken quesodilla and just told him I ate before I came out and no awkwardness.

So pretty much no regrets. Just be prepared people will notice you eating far less. My typical lunch is 1 chicken wrap at bk and just toss the wrap and eat the chicken. I know soda is bad but I do drink a value size small coke one or 2 times a day.

You can do what you want, but for me and most people being 50 plus pounds lighter is well worth it.

[becksnky 25]

I am pre op and have had the same questions. I love food, dining out is one of my favorite things to do. Nothing has ever given me the joy and comfort that food has. But it has also given me the most pain of all too. I have hated the way I look, it has taken a toll on my self esteem, my marriage, my ex husband actually left me because he wasn't attracted to me after I gained weight with the kids. It has hindered me in dating, feeling confident in my career, limited my mobility, contributed to my diabetes, sleep apnea and other aches and pains. For me to LOVE something so good, it sure hasn't loved me back. When you look at the reality of how obesity can affect your life, it is really a no brainer that you must do something if you have the opportunity to change it.