OMG! I HAVE SO SCREWED UP!

[SerendipityHappens 1,594]

Just make sure that the doc removes your gallbladder when you do the surgery or you'll have to make up another lie to cover up if you have to have your gallbladder removed at a later time. Other than that, don't sweat it.

[Jessica9190 127]

Just make sure that the doc removes your gallbladder when you do the surgery or you'll have to make up another lie to cover up if you have to have your gallbladder removed at a later time. Other than that' date=' don't sweat it.[/quote']

Can I ask for that? I do have gallbladder issues.

[Jessica9190 127]

Your boss overstepped' date=' yes, but did not, and cannot violate any HIPPA laws. The medical profession are the one's held to HIPPA, not some Joe Blow off the street. Him telling someone else would just be him violating a trust between you and him, not violating any laws.[/quote']

Ok maybe it's not HIPPA But my human resource department told me that as my boss he is not allowed to ask me any questions. Boy were they wrong!! I really thought this would go simple and he would just let it go at it's personal but he did not. They also said he could get in trouble if he spread the word as my superior. Is that untrue as well? Honestly though I don't imagine he thinks he could get any trouble with me because we are all a pretty close department.

[Ballermom 803]

I did the same thing. I am an attorney and had a similar discussion with a judge. I never owned up. I just felt I would lose too much credibility. I said the surgery was 'personal' and insinuated it was a female problem. If I'm questioned about it in the future I'm going to say that the surgery helped get me on the right track and enabled me to get healthy. At least that would be the truth. Focus on yourself' date=' not everyone else.[/quote']

I totally agree. Right now I plan to say abdomen surgery or female issue. I'm not ready yet to out it at work. But I told my sister recently and yes it was freeing. I told a close friend who lives a distance away and she was a Rock of support. If I could bottle up her support and pass it out to my other folks I would.

I too have not figured it out. I say concentrate on your health. You are entitled to Privacy,

I pray that you have peace.

Good luck!

[Tink22-sleeve 528]

I agree 'the truth shall set you free.' I myself am a terrible liar, so its just easier to be open about it.

Be strong!

[LadiWobs 13]

Honestly I would just continue on with life. I understand that you feel bad about it but like you stated he was open and he just might share it with his wife, and females will be females. And when the weight starts to drop IF he say something just simply tell him that some weight loss was expected and you started back on a diet. No details needed. At the end of the day it's not your boss that you are worried about its his wife and out of concern (nosey) she might ask we're you are, and because its general he might say she is out because of a surgery. See just that simple the wife will simply start asking questions. But you can't answer them if you don't have answers. Then has time goes by and the you notice there is no rumors you can always tell him. Just my opinion I'm a private person and my boss asked me 1000000 times and I just told her a stomach tumor.

[sunshyneqtie 73]

I knew if I told my boss, everyone would know. She is not super good with secrets. But I am the lead of my department and I needed to have her understand that I would have limitations when I came back and in order to use my EIB instead of PTO, i had to have a letter from my doc, which says "Bariatric Surgery" right on it.

Also, I know I would eventually tell. I did ask that my co workers not tell one doc I work with til after and they didn't.

Hope all works out OK.

[kyllfalcon 768]

Your boss overstepped, yes, but did not, and cannot violate any HIPPA laws. The medical profession are the one's held to HIPPA, not some Joe Blow off the street. Him telling someone else would just be him violating a trust between you and him, not violating any laws.

That being said, your reaction sounds like something I would have done too. Don't beat yourself up. I think if I were in the same shoes, I would probably come clean about my lie. I have only encountered 2 people that were somewhat negative about my surgery, and was pleasantly surprised by the outpouring of support from so many others. Even if you catch flack from any of your coworkers, you can hold your skinny head high knowing you are happier and healthier

No disrespect, but not exactly entirely true. I am Director of Human Resources for a large multi-bank financial instituion, and we are obliged by law to keep any and all medical information we acquire private. That includes information obtained verbally or in written form, from what is included on insurance applications to that learned from doctor's excuses, FMLA forms, insurance claims reports, etc. We even have to disclose to employees in writing why we need such information and what we do with it, and what we do to protect it.

However, I do not know if such restrictions apply to small employers, but I would think so.

[doxieville 799]

I feel for you! I really do. I can see me in that position. But wait a minute..did you know that the sleeve was originally created to deal w stomach ulcers & cancers? So you don't have to say that you lied. Just say, oh, btw, the surgery to fix ulcers is also WLS.

Good luck, whatever you do!

[mizzzliza 113]

You must be like me. A horrible liar. If I have to lie about something, unless I think it through and practice what I'm gonna say I would also get a flustered. I have not made a secret of my surgery. And in fact it's even posted on fb. I have friends in many locations who have had some sort of wls and its nice to have their support. Surprisingly the worst, most judgmental people I've had to deal with are some of the doctors I work with. So ok I can kind of understand cause I work in gastroenterology so we see all the folks who have problems after their surgery or years down the road when they decide to stop taking their Iron and become anemic (take your darned iron folks!) but still I think they should keep their negativity to themselves. I can't imagine the stress of keeping this journey to yourself though. The pp's are right it's nice to have at least a few allies at work. Hope it all works out for you. Let us know please what you decided to do.

[IsB 209]

I was in a similar situation. A voluntary surgery would cost me my job. We don't have enough here to qualify for FMLA. My employer is well within his rights to fire me from a voluntary surgery. I'm also an accountant and even going on vacation is difficult.

I've had enough health issues over the decade that I've been here that no one questioned me when I told them I had to have surgery to help my heart. Technically it's true. I was back to work in a week and there have been no issues. The key is not making a big deal about it. You told your boss more than enough. I'd just leave it at that and not stress about it.

[SerendipityHappens 1,594]

Can I ask for that? I do have gallbladder issues.

Yes you can! Some doctors will do it as part of a bariatric procedure anyway. Talk to your doctor about it and see if it is an option for you.

[TheCurvyJones 721]

Honestly I would just continue on with life. I understand that you feel bad about it but like you stated he was open and he just might share it with his wife, and females will be females. And when the weight starts to drop IF he say something just simply tell him that some weight loss was expected and you started back on a diet. No details needed. At the end of the day it's not your boss that you are worried about its his wife and out of concern (nosey) she might ask we're you are, and because its general he might say she is out because of a surgery. See just that simple the wife will simply start asking questions. But you can't answer them if you don't have answers. Then has time goes by and the you notice there is no rumors you can always tell him. Just my opinion I'm a private person and my boss asked me 1000000 times and I just told her a stomach tumor.

Same. Have your surgery, tell him afterward if you feel comfortable enough to. Our office is small so I figure that people will find out about it eventually.

[Ballermom 803]

I was in a similar situation. A voluntary surgery would cost me my job. We don't have enough here to qualify for FMLA. My employer is well within his rights to fire me from a voluntary surgery. I'm also an accountant and even going on vacation is difficult.

I've had enough health issues over the decade that I've been here that no one questioned me when I told them I had to have surgery to help my heart. Technically it's true. I was back to work in a week and there have been no issues. The key is not making a big deal about it. You told your boss more than enough. I'd just leave it at that and not stress about it.

I agree also. Saying too much at this point is not necessary. Voluntary also can be an issue for some. It's not any else's business the details.

Relax focus on your Journey toward better health.

Wishing you Great health!

[LezzieLez 180]

If you feel bad about lying to your boss and you don't really want to say you lied, tell him you are having a partial gastrectomy. The procedure we had/are having is the same and it cures everything but your gallbladder. You can also add that you are contemplating addressing that issue at the same time.

Explain to him that it is not voluntary and just remind him that you need your privacy as you deal with the procedure.

That is what I would do. I wouldn't want to open up and tell my boss that I lied. Either way, I am sure he knows that he shouldn't have asked you that but he was generally concerned (or just plain old nosey..lol).