male only Affair

[mezanne1401 190]

My husband had an emotional affair in September. He met a girl at a bar, became emotionally involved and kissed her. He said he wanted a divorce and that he did not love me anymore. He left for the weekend. We talked on the phone a lot that weekend and he wanted to come home. I told him I needed to think on it. I cried like I have never cried in my life. One minute I was ready for a divorce. The next minute I couldn't breathe without him. I finally decided that 12 years was too much to throw away over a kiss. I told him that an emotional affair hurt because that is giving a piece of himself to someone that belonged to me. He can sleep with a hooker, but you care about someone you kiss. He met me for dinner one night and we talked it over. I didn't want to see a marriage counselor because our marriage is the two of us; not a threesome. Our marriage has NEVER been this strong. We have such a closer bond now and we both don't take each other for granted now.

[smithpy 117]

Yes. We aren't just talking we are working our butts off. We've each learned a lot about ourselves and each other. We will start counseling next week. It wasn't an easy tough week but I think the affair is over for good.

[Mensch 150]

I'm just gonna pray for you.

[ArcusX 216]

For anyone who cares. Things have really changed. After much prayer my husband and I worked it out.

Here's a quip for entertainment value:

One funny quote a friend had told me long ago that really sticks with me - probably because it was so unexpected as he said it:

"Had a fight with my wife last night. Got pretty heated, but we worked it out. Then we worked it back in!"

Now that's what I think of every time I hear or read about "working it out."

[fattie 53]

Yes. We aren't just talking we are working our butts off. We've each learned a lot about ourselves and each other. We will start counseling next week. It wasn't an easy tough week but I think the affair is over for good.

[mark! 449]

I'd personally ask that this thread gets deleted ASAP if I were you. If things take a turn for the worst, even private messages can be subpoenaed off the server and read in court and turned so far against you it will make it very hard in your corner, especially if kids are involved.

Get REAL help, from a certified licensed person that's qualified and experienced in your area of need. 2 weeks isn't going to change anything. Get help, follow through with the help, and actually fix problems instead of having a little pow wow on the couch talking about your feelings for 30 minutes and then assuming all is well.

[aroundhky 1,174]

My husband is having an affair. He had surgery a year ago. After he lost weight he met up with someone.

Is there anything I can do? We have two children and I want to save our marriage.

By the way, I had surgery 2 months ago and am working to get myself together.

Is he really worth keeping around now? I hope it works out, but that stuff tends to be a deal breaker and seems like it would be a constant worry as to if he will do it again one day.

[JessicaAnn 564]

Is he really worth keeping around now? I hope it works out' date=' but that stuff tends to be a deal breaker and seems like it would be a constant worry as to if he will do it again one day.[/quote']

I totally agree. My husband cheats, he's gone for good. We have 2 kids, but I'd still leave. It would always be in the back of my mind, and my husband agrees with me. We fight a lot, mostly over money or stupid things, but I've never had to worry about trust and I'd never want to.

[johnlatte 1,232]

Ya'll do realize that this thread is 7 months old? Just sayin...

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

Well, some semi-legal advice: GET OFF THE INTERNET and do NOT post any more about this. As much as we'd like to help you may let something slip that your hubby can use against you and jeopardize your interests. This can be a major life, health, legal and financial issue and you are not going to get any real help on the internet.

Get some REAL help next, seek advice form councilors or a help group. Talk this out with HIM, NOT us. If things escalate then secure the services of a good lawyer and decide what to do.

Above all PROTECT YOUR INTERESTS - NO ONE else is going to, so YOU have to.

We all wish you the best.

I live by 1 hard fast rule, never put anything in writing! Rootman you are so right on. Go see a therapist and if he won't go, you go so you can figure out what you want to do.....perhaps also see an attorney. People are well meaning but can cause more trouble in the long run.....

[JessicaAnn 564]

Ya'll do realize that this thread is 7 months old? Just sayin...

Lol I never noticed!

[aroundhky 1,174]

Ya'll do realize that this thread is 7 months old? Just sayin...

Yep.........maybe there's an update coming.........?

[bubba6377 16]

This may be shrewd but both if you lost weight and you're discovering your bodies again. Why not be swingers? Statistics show that swingers have the best marriages.

[aroundhky 1,174]

Now it's a party!

[Guest Jason Cody]

I'm a PhD. Psychologist your can PM me if you need to talk or just want a friendly voice. My specialty is work and addiction psychology. I'm sorry you have to go through this. I had my surgery on Monday of last week. It is sad to see how a person's self values and morals can change on a dime once they have faced an addiction and have experience release.