male only Affair

[smithpy 117]

My husband is having an affair. He had surgery a year ago. After he lost weight he met up with someone.

Is there anything I can do? We have two children and I want to save our marriage.

By the way, I had surgery 2 months ago and am working to get myself together.

[krazynique 18]

In any situation u need to know what you want to do l. If u want the relationship to work talk to him and see if he is willing to work out with u otherwise start preparing your life as a single parents

M

[TamaraS 235]

My heart goes out to you. I also had surgery two months ago and three weeks ago I found my husband and my best friend making out after they thought I was asleep. It hella sucks but only you will know what you need to do. I stayed also because of our 6 year old boy. rough situations to be in. Keep your head up!

[smithpy 117]

Tamara I'm so sorry. Lets commit that no matter what happens we will make our healthy top priority.

Krazy I don't think he's 100 percent behind trying right now. I've started praying daily about this bit in the end it may come down to being single but I hope not.

[krazynique 18]

Ok

[Rootman 1,101]

Well, some semi-legal advice: GET OFF THE INTERNET and do NOT post any more about this. As much as we'd like to help you may let something slip that your hubby can use against you and jeopardize your interests. This can be a major life, health, legal and financial issue and you are not going to get any real help on the internet.

Get some REAL help next, seek advice form councilors or a help group. Talk this out with HIM, NOT us. If things escalate then secure the services of a good lawyer and decide what to do.

Above all PROTECT YOUR INTERESTS - NO ONE else is going to, so YOU have to.

We all wish you the best.

[thinoneday 445]

Excellent advice Rootman! This is definately not the place, for your own protection.

[twoolley 141]

He's right. Anything you say here can be used against you and his lawyer can spin it as premeditation.

[TamaraS 235]

Smithpy, If you need to vent or support message me. I know how terrible it feels to be all alone in this. You will be in my thoughts and prayers (((hugs)))

[smithpy 117]

For anyone who cares. Things have really changed. After much prayer my husband and I worked it out. Things are even better now that we've put all the cards on the table. I'm not glad that it happened but at least our bond is much stronger.

Best of luck as you all work out your life changes.

[PdxMan 4,292]

Uhhh ... sorry. Things of this magnitude don't change in less than two weeks. I hope this is the result of working with a counselor. Otherwise, don't be suprised if/when this happens again.

For things to change, there needs to be change. I can't believe this can be determined after a few heart-to-heart chats with your husband in the span of 2 weeks.

I am seeing a marriage counselor with my wife myself to deal with relationship issues. I think I am in touch with my feelings and what's going on only to be suprised by new revelations as I dig deeper. This is not a simple process.

[Ima Loser 197]

I hate when people think that things can't change in a short amount of time... Quite some time ago my husband had an affair, I found out about it... We talked about things, got to the rot of the problem and decided together that we both wanted to work things out... While things were not completely healed in 2 weeks things were much better... While I wish this never happened, I am as funny and "cliche" as it sounds glad it happened... If not now our marriage would be over affair or no affair. And now we are in a really great place I hope everything goes well for you OP... This soon after the affair just be cautious... I hope for your sake you guy end up like me and my husband... I know no matter what he would NEVER cheat on me again because he saw how much it really hurt me and he would never do it again! Good Luck in all that you do!

For anyone who cares. Things have really changed. After much prayer my husband and I worked it out. Things are even better now that we've put all the cards on the table. I'm not glad that it happened but at least our bond is much stronger.

Best of luck as you all work out your life changes.

[mooney74 2]

My heart goes out to you. I also had surgery two months ago and three weeks ago I found my husband and my best friend making out after they thought I was asleep. It hella sucks but only you will know what you need to do. I stayed also because of our 6 year old boy. rough situations to be in. Keep your head up!

Hope BFF is out of picture

[Beetracy 14]

The process of healing from infidelity is incredibly painful. I know I've been through it and am in some ways still recovering. I would be cautious of change without doing the work. The work suchs! It hurts. But if you are both committed to the marriage and willing to go through the pain and do the work there is hope. I highly recommend two books one is just for you called Love Must Be Tough By Dobson and the other is a workbook for both of you called Torn Asunder by David Carter, if he's not willing to do the workbook, you have a problem. He should be willing to do WHATEVER it takes.I know what the pull to forget and move on feels like but the pain of infidelity cuts deep and honestly took me months to climb out of the pit of the pain. I too moved on from infidelity too quickly the first time only to find myself in the same place 2 years later with a husband who had been lying and faking his way in our marriage for that time. Fighting for a marriage in this situation is admirable and brave, so glad that you are willing to do so, but it is not easy it takes deep conviction, resolve and includes excruciatingly hard work, or at least it did for me. Now my families future is secure! I hope yours will be too.

[TamaraS 235]

Hope BFF is out of picture

She definitely is!