All Over The Place!

[alley-gator 96]

I am all over the place today! Insurance has approved, date scheduled, but I am terrified. I've been on these boards reading and researching forever it seems like, and I've read the amazing success stories along with the frightening complications that have been here recently. One second I am resolved to going through with it and know I need it. I'm good at reminding myself what this surgery has the potential to help me do. Then next second, I am terrified of complications, losing out on food, feeling restricted, wondering if I really need this, or if I would be ok like I am?

Of course I know I need this, bit how do I convince that other side of myself to calm down and go through with it? It doesn't help that my mom thinks I am crazy & this is sooo drastic. My husband supports me but he is a skinny minny so can't really understand.

Thanks for reading, guys. I think it helps to just get it all out. I am going to talk the a therapist on the 12, 8 days before surgery, and will continue to see her for a while afterwards to help work out issues that come up. There is probably no one in the world who couldn't benefit from therapy & I'm certainly no exception...

What did you guys do to help with the bad anxiety that comes from this journey? I don't want to get scared into banking out now.

[kristikay 60]

I am sort of in the same place as you are. When the surgery was far into the future I was all for it and as it gets more of a reality I am having not really second thoughts but more concerns. I have been having bad stomach aches and wonder if it because I am always thinking about it.

[alley-gator 96]

It is totally affecting me, I had a nightmare last night that I was drinking too fast after being sleeved and it hurt! I woke up panicking!

[mysunflower621 69]

I went through the exact same thing and I was sleeved on 11/15. I was scared to death, went through all the emotions, fears and what if's....For me though, it came down to a few questions and answers:

• How many times had I tired to lose weight before? Every year, every diet out there since I was 13
  
• How many times had I succeded at losing? less than 5
  
• How many times did I keep the weight off? NONE
  
• How many times did I gain the weight back plus at least 20 lbs? EVERY SINGLE TIME, YEAR after YEAR
  
• Has my health improved or declined due to the weigh roller coaster? Declined
  
• How much medication was I on for Co-Morbidities? Too much
  

A quote someone once told me rang in my head...."If you always do what you have always done... you will always get the same results and what you've always gotten".... that was so true of my diet yo-yo....

I thought about how much better I felt when I was able to lose weight, even if it never stayed off. I thought about how I wanted to feel confident and not embarrassed ever time I saw someone or had to go somewhere. Then I thought about my family, my husband and my children. As scared as I was about surgery, I was more scared of not being there for them some day because of my weight.. I wanted to see my kids grow up, graduate, reach their goals and dreams, see my grandchildren.... I realized I was worth it and that even though this was the biggest risk of my life, I had to do it. I tried everything else out there, I could either continue down the destructive path I was on or take a leap of faith and hope that this surgery would help me.

This isn't to say I wasn't scared to death! I had to decide what I wanted more.. my health, a normal weight or the food and the comfort of staying the same....The day of the surgery before they brought me in , I started to cry becauseI was scared. My husband, my doctor, the nurses, they were all wonderfully reassuring and calming. As they wheeled me into the OR, we were singing Christmas Carols down the hallway together.. an hour and a half later the surgery was over, I was fine and 2.5 weeks out, I'm down 14 lbs.

Only YOU can ask yourself why you have considered this option and what has lead you to this poit and only YOU can make the decision for YOU. Don't listen to anyone else, (except maybe your spouse), this is NOT their journey or their life or their struggle. Whatever decision you make, it will be the right one for you. If you don't get the surgery you will find what is right for you.. Good luck!!

[alley-gator 96]

I went through the exact same thing and I was sleeved on 11/15. I was scared to death' date=' went through all the emotions, fears and what if's....For me though, it came down to a few questions and answers:

[*']How many times had I tired to lose weight before? Every year, every diet out there since I was 13

[*]How many times had I succeded at losing? less than 5

[*]How many times did I keep the weight off? NONE

[*]How many times did I gain the weight back plus at least 20 lbs? EVERY SINGLE TIME, YEAR after YEAR

[*]Has my health improved or declined due to the weigh roller coaster? Declined

[*]How much medication was I on for Co-Morbidities? Too much

A quote someone once told me rang in my head...."If you always do what you have always done... you will always get the same results and what you've always gotten".... that was so true of my diet yo-yo....

I thought about how much better I felt when I was able to lose weight, even if it never stayed off. I thought about how I wanted to feel confident and not embarrassed ever time I saw someone or had to go somewhere. Then I thought about my family, my husband and my children. As scared as I was about surgery, I was more scared of not being there for them some day because of my weight.. I wanted to see my kids grow up, graduate, reach their goals and dreams, see my grandchildren.... I realized I was worth it and that even though this was the biggest risk of my life, I had to do it. I tried everything else out there, I could either continue down the destructive path I was on or take a leap of faith and hope that this surgery would help me.

This isn't to say I wasn't scared to death! I had to decide what I wanted more.. my health, a normal weight or the food and the comfort of staying the same....The day of the surgery before they brought me in , I started to cry becauseI was scared. My husband, my doctor, the nurses, they were all wonderfully reassuring and calming. As they wheeled me into the OR, we were singing Christmas Carols down the hallway together.. an hour and a half later the surgery was over, I was fine and 2.5 weeks out, I'm down 14 lbs.

Only YOU can ask yourself why you have considered this option and what has lead you to this poit and only YOU can make the decision for YOU. Don't listen to anyone else, (except maybe your spouse), this is NOT their journey or their life or their struggle. Whatever decision you make, it will be the right one for you. If you don't get the surgery you will find what is right for you.. Good luck!!

This is a fantastic pep talk, thank you so much for taking the time to write it!

[WhoozisAnyway 176]

I am all over the place today! Insurance has approved' date=' date scheduled, but I am terrified. I've been on these boards reading and researching forever it seems like, and I've read the amazing success stories along with the frightening complications that have been here recently. One second I am resolved to going through with it and know I need it. I'm good at reminding myself what this surgery has the potential to help me do. Then next second, I am terrified of complications, losing out on food, feeling restricted, wondering if I really need this, or if I would be ok like I am?

Of course I know I need this, bit how do I convince that other side of myself to calm down and go through with it? It doesn't help that my mom thinks I am crazy & this is sooo drastic. My husband supports me but he is a skinny minny so can't really understand.

Thanks for reading, guys. I think it helps to just get it all out. I am going to talk the a therapist on the 12, 8 days before surgery, and will continue to see her for a while afterwards to help work out issues that come up. There is probably no one in the world who couldn't benefit from therapy & I'm certainly no exception...

What did you guys do to help with the bad anxiety that comes from this journey? I don't want to get scared into banking out now.[/quote']

I never really had bad anxiety. I was just tired. So tired. Tired of being out of breath, tired of sweating, tired of not being able to keep up with my husband, who is 20 years older than me! Tired of being embarrassed, tired of hiding from friends, tired of hiding when photos are taken, tired of avoiding events because I might cause a scene with sweating events. I am no longer shy, ashamed, embarrassed or tired. I have tons of energy, work out every day, have gone from a size 24 to a 10(!!!!!!). Enough said. Still have 40-50 lbs to lose but I feel like a new person. I only wish the same success for you. Cheers!

[saudisleeve 21]

I know how you feel except I have no counseling at all so it's between my husband and myself