To Tell or not to Tell!

[bobby_hamrick 0]

A thread here to see how we all feel. I for one wished I'd never said a word. Now I never offer it up. Most people forget it until they see progress.

The thing that gets me is this.

Several folks see me jogging around town, you know co-workers and friends. Eating healthy and some I bump into at the gym. Now how they turn that into this, You have that band in you, right? No wonder you lose weight so easy.

Easy? Never easy for me. I definately changed ny lifesstyle when I decided to have the band.

To do over again, naw I'd of been out sick a week and said look, "Get with the program folks, just diet and exercise".

Thats just me..

[bobby_hamrick 0]

By the way the avatar is my 9 month old spoiled Granddaughter!

[hootiebelle 0]

I wish I would have kept quiet because they expect me to lose at the same rate as a gastric bypass.......always having to explain over and over

[BethinSeattle 0]

I've told very few people. Primarily those closest to me that I knew would keep it on a strictly need to know basis.

Once in a while I've told someone if I thought they might benefit from the knowledge.

I have a friend who told several people and it's come back to bite her many times. She's got co-workers telling others and people commenting about taking the easy way out. Believe me..there's nothing easy about making the lifestyle changes necessary to lose weight and keep it off, band or no band. The easy way would be to stay obese.

I have a friend who tells a little annecdote when someone mentions WLS being the easy way out. She says "if you were in a burning building and you ran out through the front door rather than running upstairs and jumping out the window would anyone say you took the easy way out?"

Beth

[Maggie63 0]

i did not tell, and am happy i did not. some people are just mean, and jealous, and would love to poo poo away my hard work by saying i took the easy way out....because of my weight loss some people assume i had gastric bypass and never let an oppurtunity go by to bring that up to see if i will admit to it. i just smile and continue on my merry way.

when i reach my goal i may come out and tell my story. whenever i see a person that is obese and just hating life i want to run up to them and tell them my story.......

[j.s. 0]

I have told everybody and I still have not run into any of those issues described above. Everybody has been very supportive and sensitive. I have even been on a 9 month plateau and nobody has been snotty, they actually give me support when I am in my special plateau hell and not very happy about it. Telling people has definitely worked for me and I welcome that support.

[*susan* 1,709]

My original plan was not to tell anyone, except my parents and kids. I was laid off from work, and had my surgery then, so my new coworkers did not know about it. One day, about six of us were chatting and one of the ladies pointed out that it looks like I have lost quite a bit of weight since starting. I don't know why, but I just shared with everyone that I have the band. They were all actually quite fascinated by it and had a lot of questions. No one has accused me of taking the easy way out and have actually been quite supportive.

[kilcollins 0]

only one person has said to me that I am " coping out" I have had more support and well wishers. I really talk to people about the band, especially if they are unhappy the way they are. I guess I want everyone to know that there is another way besides gastric bypass if they are scared like I am of that surgery. I was just banded on the 9th and everyone is amazed at how I feel and look. I am down 18 lbs, (with pre-op) and holding steady. My body will fight me tooth and nail to hold onto this fat! I know it will be slow going, but I didn't put it on overnight. And yes, people can be cruel and mean, but you have to remember, you did this for you for your own reasons and besides that, WHO CARES WHAT THEY THINK! Just get healthy!

[Carlene 12]

I started out in the closet, but when people started asking me point blank, "How did you lose the weight?" I just couldn't NOT tell the truth. One woman asked me in the aisle of the sanctuary after church. How do you stand there, literally in front of God and everyone, and with a straight face say, "Oh, I'm just eating less and exercising more."

And most of the people who have asked me really specific questions are the ones who need a band themselves, so I'm definitely gonna come clean with them. It's kind of like spreading the Gospel. Don't hide your light under a bushel basket and don't be ashamed of your band. My DH has a great conversation stopper. He grabs their hand and says, "You wanna feel my port?"

[tonya66 13]

Well, I am not banded yet, but I've begun the process. I go to my seminar on 11/11/06 and I'm hoping to have my consultation soon afterward and schedule the surgery in January. I am not telling anyone, not even DH right now. Still haven't got the kinks worked out yet but I plan on not telling anyone.

I just don't want all the eyes on me, watching every move I make. So, I'll be in the closet for awhile.

[terrriho 0]

I told my husband at the outset that I did not want to tell anyone for the reasons outlined already. But also, as obese people we are judged and categorized because of our weight and this is stupid. I just want to be known for who I really am not just for what I weigh. Don't get me wrong, I know my weight is a big part of who I am and has colored many of my life's choices but that is nobody's business but mine and that is the way I want to keep it. Not sure who said it but it goes something like this, obesity is a very public vice, and I am looking forward to people's recollections of me not as a fat woman (or forget me because I am, had that happen too) but for some other sterling quality I exhbit . Seriously though, I have read enough on this board (by the way I have yet to be banded - Dec 4 God and the insurance company willing) to know that not everybody has the Cinderella outcome and some face health issues months and even years down the road that threaten their band. I just don't want people questioning me about it, period. I suppose I sound pretty hard hearted however, I do believe I could share my info with someone who looks like they could use it I just don't think my whole world needs to know.

As far as taking the easy way out, I kind of wonder if any of these ladies are using a pill for birth control. Just wondering.....<!-- / message -->

[KariK 0]

I told my husband and my sister, noone else. Im wayyyy happy with my decision. The thing is, sometimes I can't believe I needed wls to get fit. Somtimes im in denial about it. If I was having on of those days where I was just feeling good about myself and not wanting to think about my fatness or lack there of, and someone wanted to say something to me about my band positive or negetive.. well Id probably bite their head off lol. So for the sake of humanity's safety, I'll keep my private life private. Some people are open books, some people are not. Im not.

[Fluffy36 0]

I started only telling a few...but then decided (because I know me) to tell anyone who asked because me knowing they knew would keep me from learning the "tricks" and breaking the rules. I am only 3 weeks out and so far everyone has been supportive and very curious.

[Jachut 487]

It sucks doesnt it? I feel like I've worked SO hard for this, the lap band doesnt make me go to the gym or go for long runs pushing my daughter in a jogger. It doesnt get me across the finish line for my first 7.5km race. That's all me. So are the good food choices and the saying no when my head tells me I want that cake. I've had a lot of trouble reaching good restriction, for me its been a fleeting thing that's happened maybe two or three times in the last year and when I have it the weight pours off. The rest of the time I have to work at keeping the weight coming off. I can still eat enough that people I havent told would never realise I"m banded. But through the hard slog of exercise, I've kept losing.

The best thing the band does for me and this is no mean feat - is stopping me from regaining during the times when I'm not so good. I dont fear I'll get to goal weight and put it all back on. I feel like I've been made to really WORK to change my bad habits because the band hasnt made it impossible for me to indulge them, far from it.

Those are the things that matter to me and I dont really care that much if someone else understands them or not, but I wish they had more brains than to think weight loss surgery is an easy way out.

[bobby_hamrick 0]

Thanks all and I dont care either as I have had a wonderful ride. I wouldnt trade it for anything. Great shape...Just wanted to hear what others were saying..I done the marathon too and i thought this aint the band but the band helped me. A tool not a magic bullet!