female only Met Someone Right Before Surgery

[lco26 3]

So I met a guy about two weeks before my surgery (a week ago), and everything just sort of clicked. I told him about my surgery, and he's been really open-minded and supportive about it. We've even started calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend -- only a few weeks after we've met. Everything seems fine, but I'm already starting to feel guilty about not being able to go out to eat, get drinks after work, do normal "new" relationship stuff. I know a lot of relationships fail (even marriages end in divorce) after surgery. Has anyone on here gone through something like this AND had it work out? Would it be better to maybe take a break from dating until I'm at least a few months post-op? Or is there a chance this might last? Really confused.

[rswa3319 69]

I have not been in your situation and I can only imagine how nerve wracking that would be! Although when I met my husband it was through myspace and I told him that I did NOT want a relationship. Period. Now it's almost 7 years later and we have been married for over 5yrs with two kids and he's watching me take the biggest step in my life.

My point being... don't be closed minded about it. Just let it happen naturally and go with the flow. I actually spent the night at my husband's house on the night of our first date (him on the floor and me on the bed) and I have NEVER spent a night away from him since except for working.

[Threetimesacharm 1,400]

There are so many things you can do besides eating and drinking:

go bowling

go to the movies

go on a hike

go for a walk

go to a museum

go shopping

go to a quant village and window shop then stop for a tea or coffee

go skiing(in winter)

go biking(in summer)

go to the beach

oh my gosh the list goes on!!!!

You don't want to pass this guy up...............he may be the one!!

[Coykoi 45]

I feel that someone that likes you the way you are now is much better than someone that wouldn't give a second look in your direction before surgery. Give him a chance and enjoy it. If he can make it through the ride that you're about to take, he may be a keeper!

[lco26 3]

Thanks. I will try to keep an open mind about it... He is pretty great so it's worth trying to figure it out together, I guess. And Amazon13 - we're going to the movies tonight and then getting frozen yogurt. I'm really looking forward to trying out one ounce of no sugar added cheesecake.

[brittanykins 22]

I'm sort of concerned about the same thing. I'm not with anyone right now, but I plan on starting to date after the surgery. It worries me that I will never be able to do normal date things. Such as going out on dinner or coffee dates and such, which is something I've always dreamed about doing.

[Readytolose2012 88]

I have had a few dates with a couple of different people. One is younger and he questioned why I ate so little and one was older and he matched his eating to mine. I told the younger one, after he questioned me, that had cut way back on my eating in attempt to watch my weight and i told the older one upfront. They both accepted that reason. Going forward I plan to say upfront that I have cut back so that they are prepared. Right now I am in the getting to know you phase and should things progress I may tell the truth, or maybe not, a woman needs to stay a little mysterious!

[ashelaine 382]

I met my boyfriend a month before my initial consult with my doc. I was honest and up-front about it. He is the one. Period the end. I was VERY VERY hesitant about talking to him about it because I didn't want him to get the wrong idea about me or why I was doing it. During this same time- my dad was hospitalized and almost died from complications from diabetes and I lost my grandfather Nov. 11th from complications from diabetes- so he knows my fears and health concerns are valid. I love this man with all I have- I am SOOOO happy that I stuck it out and I was very hesitant about it.

[lco26 3]

Thanks, everyone... Ashelaine, did your dates with this guy change significantly after your surgery? Ours have, for obvious reasons. Any tips? Anything fun you've found? Any way to make him feel comfortable about eating on front of me?

[ashelaine 382]

Thanks' date=' everyone... Ashelaine, did your dates with this guy change significantly after your surgery? Ours have, for obvious reasons. Any tips? Anything fun you've found? Any way to make him feel comfortable about eating on front of me?[/quote']

Well- we actually live together now . We just do random stuff a lot honestly. He still hates eating in front of me, but now that I am on mushies it has made things a little easier. We watch a lot of movies and just hang out a lot

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

It's a little difficult now, when you've barely had surgery.

Eventually, you'll be eating whatever he eats, in small portions. My bf and I go out to eat all the time. Sometimes we share, sometimes I order an appetizer, or a bowl of Soup ( and eat some of his) It all works out fine.

I've dated a lot of guys over the last 5 years since I first had WLS, and it's never been a problem. Ice cream gave me horrible diarrhea in the beginning, and that could be a potential problem. Be careful with ice cream!

[SweetnCurvy 112]

I met my boyfriend a month before my initial consult with my doc. I was honest and up-front about it. He is the one. Period the end. I was VERY VERY hesitant about talking to him about it because I didn't want him to get the wrong idea about me or why I was doing it. During this same time- my dad was hospitalized and almost died from complications from diabetes and I lost my grandfather Nov. 11th from complications from diabetes- so he knows my fears and health concerns are valid. I love this man with all I have- I am SOOOO happy that I stuck it out and I was very hesitant about it.

I am sorry for ur loss. But u seem to have a great bf:)

[ashelaine 382]

He's pretty much the best thing to ever happen to me- I'm keeping this one around.

[SweetnCurvy 112]

He's pretty much the best thing to ever happen to me- I'm keeping this one around.

Wow thats amazing:)