There's The Stress!

[mezanne1401 190]

Well, I got the call I have been dreading since I moved out of my parents' house almost 13 years ago. My sweet grandpa passed away early this morning. I mentioned in an earlier thread that he was ailing and he finally got tired of hanging on. Thank God I was able to find bereavement air fare at $533 instead of other airlines with their bereavement of $1300!!! Multiply that times 3 and holy crap! My mom and dad have been divorced since I was a little kid, but she still called grandma and grandpa mom and dad. Once in the family, always in the family mentality. So I woke my mom up (she moved in with me and my husband after she literally escaped a severely abusive marriage) and told her that he had died this morning. She was going to stay here in TX with my 2 dogs. She came into the office where we both work from home and she was crying. That broke my heart. I wanted my husband to come with me because on top of being my husband, he is my rock that I lean on. I wanted my mom to go because my grandparents still adore her and I know the feeling is mutual with her. She told me a week ago that we couldn't afford for all 3 of us to miss work so she would stay here. She came in crying this morning about grandpa and told me to call my husband's niece and ask her to house sit because she wanted to go after all. That made me so happy. I know my grandma will be so happy that she came with us. I'm so happy that mom realized that some things are more important than money. I'm worried about my grandma. She is 90 now. She and grandpa have been married 69 years so I know she is completely lost. I just want to sit in her lap and cry with her. I know that is physically impossible since I'm not down THAT much weight and she is in a motorized scooter. But, I tend to regress when I'm around them and I just feel like a little child who only seeks comfort in her grandma's arms. I am their only grandchild and I know she expects me to not be able to come out, but I can't wait to be with her. So, having grandma and grandpa on my mind has made me so anxious because I can't eat. Today would have been the day that I ate until I felt better and I had nothing today to make me feel better. My mom and husband went to play their weekly game of golf while I worked so I was here by myself. Don't get me wrong there. I live that my mom and husband bond over their golf, so I would never selfishly ask them to stay home while I walked back and forth from the kitchen to the office. I left the kitchen every time empty handed, so I guess I did that right. I deleted my Facebook account a few months ago, so now I don't really have anyone to talk to about my grandpa, so I apologize for the long thread. I guess I just needed somewhere to write out my day.

[SuNMooNStaRS816 423]

Bless your heart Hun, no matter how old we are when we lose one if our dear loved ones we feel at a loss. You like so many of us used to would have stuffed down those emotions with the food. However, now you can't so you have to find some other way to deal. Talk to your husband. Post as much on here as you need to. PM me. We all as a community will help anyway we can. You and your family are in my prayers.

Gretta

[SuNMooNStaRS816 423]

And you did awesome by walking out of the kitchen empty handed!!!!

[Annointediam 17]

Hello, you are not alone here, this is we're you will have a lot of support. We have all had a loved one past before and it is hard as crap especially when you are going threw stuff your self.

So in saying all that, be strong stay focused on the positive and know that your grandfather and God knew what was best. I do not know him but he sounds like he was a good man who lived a great life,being married to your grandmother that long means he adored her and that is something special. I wish you and your family the best and will keep you in my prayers. And always remember this when my grandmother got sick with cancer and on her death bed, I wanted to sit on her lap too,well me being a big girl then picked her up and put her on my lap and held her tight. She had lost a lot of weight and I held her until she feel asleep. I love my grandma too she past valentines day last year. So hold your grandmother like you never held her before in your lap this time.

The prayers going out to you and your family.

[suzthebrit 146]

Mezanne, I am so sorry for your loss. Even knowing its coming does not make it any easier. I am so glad you could figure something out with the airlines and that you will all be able to go to say final goodbyes.

Congratulations on coming here to post instead of stuffing bad stuff in your mouth! Imagine how much worse you'd be feeling now if you had overdone it! Sad, over full and guilty. Good for you.

Take care of yourself, your mom and your grandmom. Nothing is more important than family!