Why Lie?!?!

[Aussiegirl 580]

Really? Guys disappear after you tell them "the truth?" How shallow is that. It is unfortunate you have to omit part of who you are.

Yep, it has been my experience.

I conceptually get it, but dont understand it. It is one reasons I have become the person I am, that they are/were interested in. I am no different afterwards as i was before I told them but still i am.

One can hope that one day I will find someone I can be honest with.

Missmeow, anyone can become a fattie, whether you have been skinny all your life, or been fighting it your life. Actually I (well we are) am less likely to ever be a fattie again.

[No game 14,437]

Aussie you are going to find someone that is deserving of you, when the time is right. As for the assholes that leave after finding out the

"truth" I say, it's a good thing you found out early that they were shallow and not the kind of person that makes for a GOOD long term relationship!

[Aussiegirl 580]

Aussie you are going to find someone that is deserving of you, when the time is right. As for the assholes that leave after finding out the

"truth" I say, it's a good thing you found out early that they were shallow and not the kind of person that makes for a GOOD long term relationship!

Amen!

[missmeow 156]

Yep' date=' it has been my experience.

I conceptually get it, but dont understand it. It is one reasons I have become the person I am, that they are/were interested in. I am no different afterwards as i was before I told them but still i am.

One can hope that one day I will find someone I can be honest with.

Missmeow, anyone can become a fattie, whether you have been skinny all your life, or been fighting it your life. Actually I (well we are) am less likely to ever be a fattie again.[/quote']

Yes, I know that. I was giving these men's reasoning behind not dating someone with WLS. Sorry, if it was not clear. I have seen comments on other, non-WLS boards stating as such.

[SmallTalkTC 36]

BTB wrote what I would have' date=' but I would add that I had mixed feelings about telling initially.

When I first decided to have surgery I wasn't going to tell anyone but my husband, mother and our nanny because they all would have to know as they're part of our network of support. But then as time went on, and friends were inviting us to dinner, making plans with us etc, it occurred to me that I had to tell my closest friends. To not do so would be in essence lying to them IMO. How do you decline dinner plans made a month prior to the puree stage without lying LOL

So I took my dear friends to the beach we like to walk on and told them. They were all shocked, because they've always known me overweight and don't know that ten years ago I was slim and healthy and some of them were worried to tears. I assured them that it was safe, risk free basically and that I'd be back on the beach the next week.

Then I nearly died....

So their fears for me were quite valid, and their assistance to me and my family, from delivering home made broth, taking my son out with their kids while I was in hospital, and even painting me a picture of the spot where we normally had wine and cheese on the beach and delivering that to the hospital so I had a happy memory to look at, was invaluable in all of my family making it through. How would they have reacted if I'd lied? They would have been hurt, shocked, and heck probably angry that I kept such a big thing from them. One of them is my son's future mother if my husband and I were to die....that I wouldn't tell her when I was risking my life??? Bad me!

My perspective on telling is so different than most other people's because of the experience I had. I thank god that I had the courage to tell my friends and family, and enough love in my heart to share my journey with them.

I also tell people who are not so close. I didn't have much choice as I disappeared from society for 60 days while suffering from the complications. We live in a small town...I was lucky it wasn't front page news LOL And while traveling this week I also mentioned it to my husband's family when it made sense. I feel much more comfortable being honest....100% honest

Do I knock people down in the street and sing WLS praises? No, I actually regret the surgery, so I guess that wouldn't make sense LOL But if I'm asked I would be happy to answer the questions people have. This has happened to me twice at my son's school and I have no problem with it. Rumors die if you put them to bed What's there to gossip about if you yourself start the gossip

I'm not ashamed, though I do regret that I took this road. And that's what I share with others who ask. Much like I do here.

Funny story though...I was pregnant with triplets several years ago. Anyone who has experienced this would understand that early on in that kind of pregnancy most people just look fat LOL and I tend to carry a pregnancy all over anyhoo....no basketball tummy for me! Anyhoo, I started the pregnancy about 15lbs over weight and gained rapidly from the beginning until I lost them. One day while at the store a gal approached me and said (while in line checking out) that she had struggled with her weight all of her life and wanted to suggest I see her doctor (who had given her phen phen). She did probably feel like a butthead when I told her I was five months pregnant...at least I hope so! So I also don't approach strangers to sing a WLS song! Some of us are happy as we are. Some are pregnant. Some are sick and some...well they might want to hear the WLS story, but I'd let them ask first LOL[/quote']

If you don't mind me asking...what were your complications?

[AlbanyDan 32]

When I lived in HI' date=' I had a neighbor who weighed approximately 280 pounds, judging by her appearance. I had not seen her in maybe 4/5 months, but when I did....boy did she look good! She had shredded her fat cocoon and was now rocking a much smaller body..probably size 12/14. Now me, being the lifetime dieter that I am, just had to know what diet she was on that caused her to lose so much weight so fast. Now I was pretty ignorant when it came to the wls, so this was not the first thing that had come to mind. So after complimenting her weight loss and engaging in some petty conversation, I asked her what did she do to get her weight off. Her response....wait for it....wait for it...wait for it...her response was Water AEROBICS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What the heck? Was all I was thinking after she responded with that. Did she really believe that I would believe what she had just told me?

Why lie about having weight loss surgery, especially to someone that is going through the same struggle that you once went through? We should not be ashamed to announce to those who want to attain a better health the tools that we have used to achieve that.

Have any of you lied to someone about having surgery, if so, why? I understand that it is your personal decision to share whatever information with whomever you wish.[/quote']

I never lied to anyone who asked a direct question, but what bothered me are those speculate among themselves and then designate someone to ask. I was 460 November 2009. I worked to lose 30 pounds pre-surgery though the goal was 46. After surgery I joined gym. With diet and exercize am down to 360. What bothers me is most who insist on knowing whether you had the surgery often want to be able to dismiss the work that you put in and talk like the surgery was magic and u just got cut and lost the weight. For that reason I don't tell everyone. But.

[Trcyprkr70 69]

I have told some people that I do Protein and exercise. The people that I have told are the people that support me. My ex boyfriend seems to keep saying I took the easy way out and it's not. I had to tell the idiot that I too still have to watch what I eat and exercise. Just a few days ago someone was on Facebook slamming someone because she had wls. Apparently the person that had the surgery was trying to tell the other person to have the surgery. I pick and chose who I want to know because some people are judgmental and I don't take negativity to well.

Sunshine