Why Lie?!?!

[krazynique 18]

Pre-op I talked to a couple of nurses I work with the first thing they say is your not big enough. I am big enough. I know it's trying to be a compliment but that's how I felt for years and I just kept getting bigger and bigger and I know it's-partially my eating. Now that I said something there a discussion on how all u got to do is diet and exercise. And how I know someone who stopped drinking soda and sugar and they lost weight. I stopped eating all red meat and pork and I cut down on turkey and bread. I haven't drank soda in years and I try to keep my juice down. Even discussing that people still seem to feel I must be doing something wrong and its me. Sometimes I feel like that's all I need but I feel this surgery will give me a boost. I guess until I have the surgery I will know what to say but for now I think it's better not to say anything.

[krazynique 18]

Pre-op I talked to a couple of nurses I work with the first thing they say is your not big enough. I am big enough. I know it's trying to be a compliment but that's how I felt for years and I just kept getting bigger and bigger and I know it's-partially my eating. Now that I said something there a discussion on how all u got to do is diet and exercise. And how I know someone who stopped drinking soda and sugar and they lost weight. I stopped eating all red meat and pork and I cut down on turkey and bread. I haven't drank soda in years and I try to keep my juice down. Even discussing that people still seem to feel I must be doing something wrong and its me. Sometimes I feel like that's all I need but I feel this surgery will give me a boost. I guess until I have the surgery I will know what to say but for now I think it's better not to say anything.

[GlitteringGoldParodox 36]

How did I learn about WLS? Commercials and ads. From there I researched. I didn't need anyone to give me a testimony. They're living in the Age of Information. My sister told me how are cousin is on FB telling everyone she lost weight through diet and exercise. We know from my aunt telling my mom that she had an additional tool (Gastric Bypass) to help her get there more quicker. Did her not telling my sister or I about WLS stop us from finding out about it? Nope. We're related but she is not obligated to tell us or anyone else her personal business. That is a attitude of entitlement.

[Jen35 283]

I don't think it's a lie I think it's half truth and it does give false hope yea u will lose weight from exercising but not large amounts of weight and how much u want to bet that majority of the ppl heard about the surgery through friend our word of mouth in my opinion it is what it is and ppl are just lying to them selves the fact that they had to do this and the more ppl speak out about it it will help other ppl it's no different then speaking out about mental illness why feel uncomfortable unless your a shame

I think it is only giving out partial information and not going into detail. You are only lying if you give false information. Telling people that you are making healthier choices (diet and exercise) is not false. I don't feel shame in my decision to go ahead with the surgery, but I don't want to deal with other's judgement, insecurities, jealousies, (the list goes on) and then deal with the repercussions. I'm dealing with enough in my own life - I don't need that.

You mention educating others. Sure, if I feel that a person is open to that (that is the key), then I may share more info. But people can and will use personal information against you. And many times no amount of education will change that. Case in point, you mention mental illness. My husband suffers from severe, debilitating depression. When he was first diagnosed, he was in the hospital off and on for a couple weeks while they figured out the right treatment, meds, etc.. He worked for a small company (too small for FMLA laws) and this was before HIPAA laws. They found out why he was in the hospital and fired him. While he was IN the hospital, knowing that his insurance would end 2 days later. Would they have done this if he had a heart attack? I think not. So, from this I learned that you keep personal information private and it can't be used against you. I share on a need to know basis.

BTW, I work in human resources and I wanted to sue their a$$ off, but my husband didn't - he just wanted to move on. He's a much better person than me:) Based on the Americans with Disabilities Act, I could have shut them down and I REALLY wanted to.

[theshrinkingchef 61]

Well said Jen35. I know my coworkers will smile in your face, give you encouragement and the first opportunity they have to use it against you.... they will. It's important to know who you can really talk to. Even some family members don't wish you well.

I will say a friend of mine shared that she had bypass surgery and was very open to questions from me. It is why I started to explore this option. From that point, I have gone to seminars, forums, you tube and googled everything I wanted to know. My friend was the inspiration, but I took the initiative to find out about it.

Btw... I would have atleast threatened to sue!

[ebonisekim 1,713]

I think it is only giving out partial information and not going into detail. You are only lying if you give false information. Telling people that you are making healthier choices (diet and exercise) is not false. I don't feel shame in my decision to go ahead with the surgery' date=' but I don't want to deal with other's judgement, insecurities, jealousies, (the list goes on) and then deal with the repercussions. I'm dealing with enough in my own life - I don't need that.

You mention educating others. Sure, if I feel that a person is open to that (that is the key), then I may share more info. But people can and will use personal information against you. And many times no amount of education will change that. Case in point, you mention mental illness. My husband suffers from severe, debilitating depression. When he was first diagnosed, he was in the hospital off and on for a couple weeks while they figured out the right treatment, meds, etc.. He worked for a small company (too small for FMLA laws) and this was before HIPAA laws. They found out why he was in the hospital and fired him. While he was IN the hospital, knowing that his insurance would end 2 days later. Would they have done this if he had a heart attack? I think not. So, from this I learned that you keep personal information private and it can't be used against you. I share on a need to know basis.

BTW, I work in human resources and I wanted to sue their a off, but my husband didn't - he just wanted to move on. He's a much better person than me:) Based on the Americans with Disabilities Act, I could have shut them down and I REALLY wanted to.[/quote']

Well it's your opinion like I have mine

[theshrinkingchef 61]

Well, you're wrong!

Lol!

I really am kidding. Just trying to lighten things up! It's such a heated debate! Someone said on another topic, we must all be stressed and what not around the holidays and that may be true!

Let's all be happy and grateful to be alive and look forward to an amazing New Year!

And agree, to disagree!

[ebonisekim 1,713]

Maybe I am maybe I'm not it's still an opinion that we all have you keep lighten up the convo u got it

[ebonisekim 1,713]

Oh and an opinion it's never wrong when it's not a fact just a thought haha now that's funny

[Pelekania 156]

Well said Jen35. I know my coworkers will smile in your face' date=' give you encouragement and the first opportunity they have to use it against you.... they will. It's important to know who you can really talk to. Even some family members don't wish you well.

I will say a friend of mine shared that she had bypass surgery and was very open to questions from me. It is why I started to explore this option. From that point, I have gone to seminars, forums, you tube and googled everything I wanted to know. My friend was the inspiration, but I took the initiative to find out about it.

Btw... I would have atleast threatened to sue![/quote']

Had your friend chose not to disclose the entire truth to you about losing her weight, you might not be headed on the road to a smaller healthier you.

I am in no way saying that every person that you encounter that you should shout how you had most of your stomach removed, but what I am saying that if an individual chooses to enlighten someone as to how they are losing weight don't outright lie or give partial information. If you feel it's none of their business than say it. But I guess everyone is not as direct as me... I am not ashamed of the surgery and could care less about what A B and C thinks of it because no matter what you do EVERYONE will have an opinion! That tis all.

[Pelekania 156]

Not trying to start drama here (and Lord knows plenty of THAT has been going on here)' date=' but IMO, an omission is a lie. My mother (we're talking pre "quiet time" parenting) beat my tail for "omitting" certain details. I've learned my lesson well because that woman was like Taz with a belt when she went to slinging that thing around. I believe she even had a war cry! I think it usually started off with my full name..."Melinda Susanne, get your ass in here!!!". Yeah, that rings familiar! But, I digress. An omission, if made to deceive, is a lie.

This is just my opinion and I mean to offend no one. I'm only posting what I was taught and believe!!![/quote']

Lol I totally agree with you.. Omitting something is a lie! It's amazes me how society tries to justify their doings. We don't like the word lie, so we say I just chose to omit or share the part that played a HUGE role... Go figures... To each it's on

[Pelekania 156]

I see your point about an omission being a lie....but there is a big difference here. What is one going to say? I don't feel like telling you how I lost weight! Granted' date=' if I didn't want you to know, I'd probably say, no of your business! Lol! But I'm brutally honest! So how do you back out of that cruel statement and awkward conversation? I'm just saying! Put yourself in that position. A virtual stranger wants to know your business and you don't want to them to know your business, but you also don't want to hurt their feelings... What do you say?[/quote']

How do you handle a situation that you feel uncomfortable with or to you is too personal... You smile and change the subject. A variety ways exist of letting someone that, that subject is a personal matter,

I think the real issue is that people are ashamed because if they'd lost the weight through normal venues they would be telling everyone lol

[Richard Foor 655]

I do not try to hide my surgery from anyone. But it is everyone's personal decision. I will say that since I work as a paramedic and the majority of my friends and acquaintances are in the medical field it is less likely for them to be unsupportive. For that matter so far no one I have talked to has said one negative thing about me having the surgery. and I have had several obese friends ask me lots of questions because they are considering the surgery, I try to answer there questions and be as supportive as possible because I know that is what I wanted when I was considering surgery. You should always remember if you tell a friend something personal and they give you a hard time they probably really aren't you friend.

[Biellita165 28]

"Why lie about having weight loss surgery, especially to someone that is going through the same struggle that you once went through? We should not be ashamed to announce to those who want to attain a better health the tools that we have used to achieve that."

Just because someone is overweight too, does not mean they will understand or even agree about WLS. I don't like the negative comments, so unless I a sure this will,be someone that could help the other person, I rather keep to myself what I did.

Not everyone is supportive. My own family has made so much fun of my obesity issues, the last thing I'd do is explain them a gad damn thing.

[taylokat 180]

I'm an alcoholic...Sober over 20 years. When I'm out with a group of people I always get asked, "why aren't you drinking?" It's much easier to say "I just don't like it but thank you anyway" rather than explain I'm a recovering alcoholic. I'm very new to this weight loss journey, not even sure I will qualify, but if I do get surgery I plan on using the same logic I do with my sobriety. Basically it's nobody's business but if I feel someone will benefit from my story and they will keep things confidential, I will share it.