Why Lie?!?!

[theshrinkingchef 61]

Not so fast... Again it's not a lie. It's not disclosing that you got a little help. There is a different. Maybe you are comfortable talking about yourself, but she may not be. It's not her responsibility to help you or anyone with their weight problems. Besides, everyone is different. What works for her may not be the solution for you. It's not false hope. Diet and exercise does, in fact, work for some people. Others, not so much. Bariatric surgery is a tool to help those who struggle with weight loss, but it isn't the final solution. Just like everyone else, we have to focus on diet and exercise in order to lose and maintain.

For that woman, it may be difficult for her to admit that she got help. Heck, it's difficult for many to ask for help! Your journey through weight loss and the road you have to take to get there is vastly different from everyone else. So before to go judging her, consider that. And btw, who cares if she didn't tell anyone! If she's doing Water aerobics, then she's not really lying. And, I'm here to tell you... Water aerobics is the bomb, especially deep water! It's a good form of exercise, don't sleep on it!

Move on.

[mezanne1401 190]

Not trying to start drama here (and Lord knows plenty of THAT has been going on here), but IMO, an omission is a lie. My mother (we're talking pre "quiet time" parenting) beat my tail for "omitting" certain details. I've learned my lesson well because that woman was like Taz with a belt when she went to slinging that thing around. I believe she even had a war cry! I think it usually started off with my full name..."Melinda Susanne, get your ass in here!!!". Yeah, that rings familiar! But, I digress. An omission, if made to deceive, is a lie.

This is just my opinion and I mean to offend no one. I'm only posting what I was taught and believe!!!

[SeriouslyChange 319]

I am not telling anyone other than the people who already know. So like 5 people from my work and a few members of my family. I will be more than happy to tell the world how successful WLS can be when I loose a significant amount, but until then, I don't even tell people I'm dieting. I say nothing lol.

I don't want any negativity around me while I proceed on this journey. It was hard for me to commit to something like this and I don't want anyone watching me or asking questions or anything just yet.

One of the reasons I got sleeved was to raise awareness to a large portion of people that I know who are overweight and with health conditions, who fail time and time again on diets, and who have the same insurance I do and it would be so beneficial for them.

I had never met anyone who had had WLS. I went in with high hopes and dreams that this will work. And I sure hope it helps me. And in turn it may help others out there in my community know that this is an option and there are people out there who do do this. It's not as negative as many make it out to be.

[theshrinkingchef 61]

I see your point about an omission being a lie....but there is a big difference here. What is one going to say? I don't feel like telling you how I lost weight! Granted, if I didn't want you to know, I'd probably say, no of your business! Lol! But I'm brutally honest! So how do you back out of that cruel statement and awkward conversation? I'm just saying! Put yourself in that position. A virtual stranger wants to know your business and you don't want to them to know your business, but you also don't want to hurt their feelings... What do you say?

[Boofster 159]

I'll omit, deceive, and straight out lie or whatever you want to call it about this very personal, private health matter, especially if I think that people's reactions are going to be negative, unsupportive, cause me stress, or make people have a watchful eye on me. One million percent. Why don't people broadcast that they're doing IVF, or had plastic surgery, or are having a controversial, experimental treatment for cancer in Germany, or that their pelvic organs are falling out through their hoo hoo and they're having them removed or slinged back up? Because it's private and confidential. The very reasons that HIPAA laws were enacted. The very thing that bars you from calling up an insurance company or doctor and ask about your boss, your neighbor, your friend of a friend down the road. We live in a nation of people that broadcasts everything - to their friends, on Facebook, on reality shows, around the Water cooler, etc. etc. I choose not to tell certain people and I stand behind that decision. Let them guess and talk all they want. Now that gives me a giggle.

[theshrinkingchef 61]

That's right! I agree 100%. It's our right to keep things private. If I don't wanna tell you, I'm not going to. People have their own ways of dealing with things. The person who omitted that she had surgery proably didn't want to say "none of your business" and chose to spare you an awkward and uncomfortable situation(really for the both of you).

Prime example: I had a guy at work ask me how much I paid for my car. I never talk to the guy, he's not a nice person and decides to out of the blue ask me what I paid. Seriously? Can't you look it up on the Internet? Are you asking because you genuinely want to know orare you asking because you don't think I should be able to afford a nice car like this and your telling me that in the form of that bogus, whack a$$ question? Considering his personality, our non existent relationship and the fact that you can look it up on the web, I choose to believe the latter and told him NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! That's definitely something else that comes into play... The person's intent! Anyway....

It's a personal choice and if they choose not to disclose... Don't be mad. I know plenty of people that had lap bands and bypass surgery and they didn't announce it to the world. And I respect them no less for it.

[Nicolanz 1,484]

I wouldn't exactly call someone a liar for not disclosing their medical history. Omitting information from you mother when you were a child is completely different.

[mezanne1401 190]

I am not pushing telling people to anyone. I completely understand the not wanting negativity surrounding your decision. Some people I told (mainly my uncle and a friend of the family) were very negative about my decision. For me personally, this was the first time ever in my life that I stood up for myself and my decision. I am usually one to keep my opinions to myself and keep my mouth shut, but I stood up for myself. That was a little personal victory for me. It actually makes me sad that people can't/don't/won't tell because it is so taboo to have WLS and there are so many hateful people in the world that love to keep people down and out. They look down on us because we're fat and they look down on us because we are trying to fix it.

[imworthit 156]

It's none of your business point blank period

[mme5 6]

How about today a co-worker asked me I was losing weight...then goes on to ask what am I doing! I changed my diet and am exercising. Think that was the end of it...that would have been too easy. Her next question "Are you going to stick with it?"

WTF?

This is exactly what I mean. How the hell is this any of her concern. She's not outside asking the smokers to when they are going to quit. My point is obesity in my opinion will never be considered a legitimate health condition like, diabetes, cancer, etc. Any medical/surgical intervention for it will represent the easy way out for most. We who have taken the step toward health and the providers that treat us KNOW that this is not a easy journey and not one we've entered into lightly.

[Boofster 159]

mme5, thanks for the laugh!! "Are you going to stick with it?" - DUH.... it just makes you want to smack someone very hard. I would have shot something back like, "I think so, 'cuz your husband said he likes me skinny."

[SeriouslyChange 319]

mme5' date=' thanks for the laugh!! "Are you going to stick with it?" - DUH.... it just makes you want to smack someone very hard. I would have shot something back like, "I think so, 'cuz your husband said he likes me skinny."[/quote']

Lmao!

[mme5 6]

@boofster Too funny! I had something I'd like to stick with, or should I say somewhere, my size 9 right up her behind!

[Jessica9190 127]

I'll omit' date=' deceive, and straight out lie or whatever you want to call it about this very personal, private health matter, especially if I think that people's reactions are going to be negative, unsupportive, cause me stress, or make people have a watchful eye on me. One million percent. Why don't people broadcast that they're doing IVF, or had plastic surgery, or are having a controversial, experimental treatment for cancer in Germany, or that their pelvic organs are falling out through their hoo hoo and they're having them removed or slinged back up? Because it's private and confidential. The very reasons that HIPAA laws were enacted. The very thing that bars you from calling up an insurance company or doctor and ask about your boss, your neighbor, your friend of a friend down the road. We live in a nation of people that broadcasts everything - to their friends, on Facebook, on reality shows, around the Water cooler, etc. etc. I choose not to tell certain people and I stand behind that decision. Let them guess and talk all they want. Now that gives me a giggle.[/quote']

Ditto ditto ditto!!!

I can't agree more. I don't want to lie but I also don't want to tell everyone. I tried to tell my boss about it and just described it as "personal" but he wouldn't quit prying. I ended up making a somewhat false reason for my surgery but what's done is done and I'm just going to try hard not to get put in that position again. Next time I will say "none of your business"

So why lie? Because people ask nosey questions that put you in the spot and you don't want them to know.

[ebonisekim 1,713]

I don't think it's a lie I think it's half truth and it does give false hope yea u will lose weight from exercising but not large amounts of weight and how much u want to bet that majority of the ppl heard about the surgery through friend our word of mouth in my opinion it is what it is and ppl are just lying to them selves the fact that they had to do this and the more ppl speak out about it it will help other ppl it's no different then speaking out about mental illness why feel uncomfortable unless your a shame