Why Lie?!?!

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

as i said in an earlier post, she apparently doesn't feel comfortable in her own skin to tell people about the WLS at this time - maybe she won't later either - but thats ok

i only told my immediate family prior to WLS

once things progressed i did tell people when asked about my weight

when someone asks me now about my situation - i do think to myself, should i tell the whole truth, or just say, diet, small portions, exercise et al

i have chosen to now tell anyone who asks.

even expained some of my NSV's when they comment on my tattoo. many times - explaining the connection for me and the tattoo and my increased confidence

i am sometimes"concerned" about different peoples thoughts sometimes

how silly is that - justify/defend myself by telling them "this is not the easy way out" then i explain the hard work, major surgery.

how silly is that - explaining, defending myself, no more!!

[jennyannk73 20]

I choose to tell everyone ( I didn't at first) but only because I wanted to be a positive force in educating others. That said, I totally feel that in truth, a positive remark noticing someones weight loss is acceptable and welcome, but unless they volunteer the info, asking how they did it is really a bit intrusive. And since we are broaching this topic, it is downright rude to perpetually ask someone how much they have lost so far. Just because you have the surgery it should not dissolve you're right to all privacy. No one liked being scrutinized when they were overweight and its just as intrusive now. This odds my only regret in telling all. Just being honest. =)

[krazynique 18]

I have yet to be sleeved and I get negative statements, once you tell people your on a diet or your working on losing weight people have an opinion. I had a Caesar salad today with little to no dressing and someone said is that healthy should u be eating that. I can't even imagine it getting worse when u tell them I am get WLS soon they automatically I may not mind educating friends but it gets tiring when everyone has an opinion about your situation.

[GlitteringGoldParodox 36]

Even among obese WLS has a stigma attached to it. That something I recently learned.

As for me. Except for family members none of my friends know how much weight I gained in the last two yrs. They only seen me at 10 and 15 lbs overweight. I moved out of state for a few yrs and stayed in contact through phone calls and emails. For them to know how far I let myself go is too much for me to express. I'm not the vulnerable, soul bearing type anyway. Besides I already know how negative they see fat ppl. A few has called me fat before when we got into arguments. Not to put them because I've said hash things too. The ones we associate with know what buttons to push.

In the end its no one business. It's a private matter. No one has the right to know unless you want, not obligated, to inform them. I've never asked a stranger or someone I know a personal question expecting they have to tell me or I'll feel mislead or deceived.

[mme5 6]

I have wondered what I would say to the people who ask but based on the reaction of the select few people I have shared with, I think I will keep my surgery private. Am I ashamed? No, this by far will be the hardest thing I have done to lose weight. I have been a yo-yo dieter all my adult life. If no one asked me what I was doing to gain the 100lbs. I have to lose, why should they be privy as to how I lost it? It is MY personal business to share or not. Why invite other's judgement of your decision

Into your life? Who needs that added pressure? Everyone handles things they way they think is best for them, and no one should be judged on how they choose to respond to someone's inquiry into their personal business. I'm just saying.

[Boofster 159]

I didn't tell very many people and I'm so glad I didn't (family and close friends know, but only 2 people at work not in my department, and one had WLS twice). Family is very supportive. As for friends -- good friends -- that is a bit of a different story. I think a few of my friends are having a hard time with it - with some I didn't get the positive responses I expected. Jealousy or envy? Possibly. Maybe a bit of judgment too. Whatever the case, I'm good with it - I'm off all meds, down almost 20 lbs in one month, and have never felt better or had more energy. How could you not be happy for a friend going in such a positive direction? What can you. Onward!!

[Boofster 159]

Oh, but when in public (mostly shopping), I do want to wrangle every obese female I see and sing it from the mountaintops about how I am so glad that I did this and how good I feel, etc. I have to fight the urge and distract myself with pretty shiny things (or shoes).

[delta_girl 931]

I decided to tell a few of my closest friends. Originally I told myself I wouldn't tell any of them. Two of the friends I have known over 30 years, another just within the last two years and her father is a surgeon.

Responses? ...shock, disbelief, questions of "why?" and some head shaking.

Pretty much consistant responses from all three of them.

It will probably make some things easier like not having to explain why I don't eat like I did before, but otherwise it really didn't provide any benefit or desirable outcome in sharing it.

[Geminidrive 389]

My motto is why lie when the truth will do! I don't mind telling people I had WLS because when co-workers see you eating a small portion do you think they aren't going to know something? Chyle please! All the effort people spend trying to develop a "story" they could just tell the person "I had weight loss surgery!" I tell people I had weight loss surgery because I was becoming more and more unhealthy and I don't EVER want to be dependent on anyone else. I love life and if I can do something to become a healthier person, I'm doing it. The question I want to ask is what are you afraid is going to happen when you tell the truth? Be BOLD, embrace your new healthier life!

[Coykoi 45]

I told a few close friends before, the ones that were less close were told that the upcoming surgery was personal. One of my friends was very supportive and expressed interest (more curiosity than anything else). She needs to fit in so she has been telling me how she's been sick and cant eat anything and how much weight she's lost. OK, I get that she needs to join in, it's who she's always been. I asked her if she's ever been on My Fitness Pal as a way to track what she eats. She went off on how she hates those sites because they don't understand that people are different, she doesn't need Protein and resents any site telling her that she does. Whoa! That's what I run into, is people that know more than doctors and no one can convince them otherwise. I'll tell anyone that I trust, but I don't plan on being an evangelist. One person at work knows because she has a lap band. If she tells others I wont be mad but if people ask me how I did it, the answer will be diet and exercise, because in reality that's what is really doing it. The sleeve is a tool to keep us from eating too much, it's our determination to stick to the plan that takes off and keeps off the weight.

[mezanne1401 190]

I've told everyone I know. I have nothing to hide. It made my aweful SIL green with envy (which I love), it made some people realize that I am one tough cookie (in fact, my dad said "I wish I had the balls to commit to something so permanent"), I've had two "easy way out" comments to which I replied "you eat 1 oz per meal and risk throwing that up if it didn't settle and you deal with the food addiction and we'll see how "easy" it is". I've had many questions about why/when/how and I answer them with brutal honesty. I'm not ashamed of my decision. I'm proud I had the courage to do this. I got sick at the airport waiting for my plane a few weeks ago and was standing at the sink washing my face and a stranger asked me if I was okay. I said simply, "Yes. I had stomach surgery two weeks ago and I get sick sometimes. She patted my back and wished me well. Maybe because "fat people" are so gross to normal people, they might be happy that we aren't just standing back and doing nothing about it.

[theshrinkingchef 61]

Okay! So I haven't read through all of this, so this may be a repeater. There is an attitude about WLS that people who don't have a weight problem have that is well....cruel and mean. They think it's the easy way out, cheating or downright lazy. Sorry, there are a lot of judgmental people out there. There's no shame in telling someone diet and exercise. Because, guess what? It is diet and exercise with the assistance of surgery.

My coworkers are jerks and are never happy for anyone. And that's the truth! They use any information and try to use it for malicious intent. You think I want to share anything with someone that is so miserable that thatching never bd happy for me, heck no! Maybe your neighbor is guarded and has trust issues. Maybe that is something she has to work on. To share something so personal that may even have a tinge of shame with her may be difficult. Every person is different. She's not a liar, she's just not ready. It's none if your business. It's no ones and to imply that it should be shared is ridiculous.

If someone were to ask me, I might tell them. Not because I'm secretive, but I trust and believe that they habe the best intentions and wish me well. Consider that.

[theshrinkingchef 61]

Sorry for typos... On my phone

[TheGamer 406]

They think it's the easy way out, cheating or downright lazy.

Yeah, it didn't take long for me to figure out that for the rest of my life I'm going to have to be strict with what I eat all the time. It's not because I won't be "allowed" to eat it, but because I know my relationship with food. My relationship with food with never be healthy, not for the rest of my life. It's always going to be that thing I can't control if I let it slip. Sure, a cookie will be okay for some people, but I don't ever think it will be for me. This wasn't easy, isn't easy, and won't be easy, not ever.

[ebonisekim 1,713]

When I lived in HI' date=' I had a neighbor who weighed approximately 280 pounds, judging by her appearance. I had not seen her in maybe 4/5 months, but when I did....boy did she look good! She had shredded her fat cocoon and was now rocking a much smaller body..probably size 12/14. Now me, being the lifetime dieter that I am, just had to know what diet she was on that caused her to lose so much weight so fast. Now I was pretty ignorant when it came to the wls, so this was not the first thing that had come to mind. So after complimenting her weight loss and engaging in some petty conversation, I asked her what did she do to get her weight off. Her response....wait for it....wait for it...wait for it...her response was Water AEROBICS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What the heck? Was all I was thinking after she responded with that. Did she really believe that I would believe what she had just told me?

Why lie about having weight loss surgery, especially to someone that is going through the same struggle that you once went through? We should not be ashamed to announce to those who want to attain a better health the tools that we have used to achieve that.

Have any of you lied to someone about having surgery, if so, why? I understand that it is your personal decision to share whatever information with whomever you wish.[/quote']

I agree w you 100% because when u tell ppl lies like that u give them false hope ppl will think they can achieve the same result w the half truth I'm very open if someone ask me I'll tell them I've already told ppl my intentions you kno you could lose wieght before w that alone so why lie now but to each it's on