Really Having A Hard Time......

[jaxlaceylace 33]

So I am 9days away from the surgery that I've worked so hard the past 7months to get. Instead of feeling excited about my new life, I'm overwhelmed with a sea of emotions. I'm having a really hard time with the support of people I thought would be there. One of my close friends inperticular is on my last nerve, with comments on how I shouldn't do this surgery. Honestly it's not just her, my fiancé, some of my family and a lot of my friends voice concern. What kills me is they all have seen me struggle with weight my entire life. They keep saying "you've lost the weight before, why can't you do it again" and I have lost 50lbs or more at a time but it always comes back. I cant make them understand that i need this. Im dedicated but I'm scared, I'm hurting and I'm an emotional wreck because of all this stress. Add to that im on a two week liquid prep and i feel like im going out of my mind. I feel like I'm fighting all this alone and it's really depressing. Have any of you been through this before surgery? How did you cope? Is all this going to be worth all this fighting? Ugh this is suppose to be a happy time a joyous time a new beginning but I feel like I'm just stuck. Advice?

[TakeCareGirl 161]

Bless your heart, you are not alone, you have the people on this board, and you came to the right place.

There will always be doubters. You've worked 7 months to get here as you said, and you can't let them stop you, if you know in your heart you are right.

And you are right - it is NOT easy. Just taking it one day at a time. Hugs and hang in there!

[does not matter 39]

I honestly feel like we are living the same life right now. I've been an emotional disaster for the past 2 weeks since researching and booking my surgery. My mom is no longer talking to me and my brother told me to write him in my will. It's a complete disaster. I sat in the parking lot of the bank and cried for half an hour and had to re-read posts on this site before I could go in to do my wire transfer. Right now I am living and breathing this website and getting my support from here. Everyone keeps saying family will come around, and I'm trying to believe them since everyone else has been there and says it works out in the end... so I'm holding onto that hope. We just have to remember that we are doing this for ourselves to have healthier, happier lives. It is very difficult when the people closest to you are the ones you really want and thought you could always count on. I think they're just worried about you.. hopefully they will come around on the day of surgery to be there to support you on the most important day. Stay positive and stay strong.

[newgrandmother 725]

remember who you are doing this for. i lost a lot of weight before and ppl would say the same thing to me. why dont you do what you did before? some ppl dont understand our struggle with weight loss and this surgery is our second chance and hope. keep you head up, pray for strength and know that we are here for you just log on and someone will be here for you (smile)

[IMABear 57]

I say to Hell with them.

You are doing this for you and you know what you are doing.

You have researched this and know this is right.

I personally didn't tell anyone except my teenage daughters (whom live with me) and they loved the idea of me being more healthy and able to much more fun stuff with them.

I told my parents after surgery was scheduled and they were supportive. Mom came and helped the night before and stayed for a week.

Told my brother after the fact, well can't argue what has already been done.

You are going to feel like **** for a number of days after the surgery. Hang in there it will get better.

You have come this far. If you have to, separate yourself from those folks that you can (the best friend) for now and pick back up after.

Put your Fiancée in his place and tell him all you want from him is support. If he can't give you that...... Well.....

Pick your chin up and be strong, for yourself!!!!!

You can do this!!!!

Best of Luck....

[kaykayp 7]

It is the best thing I have ever done for myself,,, did not care what other people was saying ...even my doctor tried to talk me out of it,.. he wanted me to try pills first is that not crazy...so glad I had this surgery.

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

overwhelmed with a sea of emotions. suppose to be joyous time a new beginning

jaxlacelace

sorry you are aren't receiving support from home

WLS in 9 days, "try" not to let family/friends get the better of you. i'm sure that must be difficult

prior to WLS people do have all sorts of emotions, scared of surgery - its unfortunate that friends/family can't be there for you

"unfortunately" you are not alone in your situation

many people post here in the position you are, that probably doesn't help you though

"if you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem" - Dr. Phil

try not to feel depressed, sounds lame saying - but i'm just trying to cheer you on,

this is YOUR new life that , i know you are excited about - you worked hard to get started...don't let others bring you down -

you know whats best for you - concentrate on the WLS coming up soon

being sleeved , your health will start to improve - co-morbities will improve or disappear, you know all this

i can see it in you eyes you are a very strong determined lady - who will get through these next couple of weeks - then start your new improved life

down 50 lbs pre-op

congrats

WooHoo

stressed out,?? hard situation you are in - but don't let anyone get the better of you - keep going through your liquid diet - you'll do fine

maybeoneday85 put it well "stay positive and stay strong"

come here to ask questions, post or just "look around" and "take it all in"

see you around the Water cooler

take care bud

good luck

speedy recovery

[jcool 5]

So I am 9days away from the surgery that I've worked so hard the past 7months to get. Instead of feeling excited about my new life' date=' I'm overwhelmed with a sea of emotions. I'm having a really hard time with the support of people I thought would be there. One of my close friends inperticular is on my last nerve, with comments on how I shouldn't do this surgery. Honestly it's not just her, my fiancé, some of my family and a lot of my friends voice concern. What kills me is they all have seen me struggle with weight my entire life. They keep saying "you've lost the weight before, why can't you do it again" and I have lost 50lbs or more at a time but it always comes back. I cant make them understand that i need this. Im dedicated but I'm scared, I'm hurting and I'm an emotional wreck because of all this stress. Add to that im on a two week liquid prep and i feel like im going out of my mind. I feel like I'm fighting all this alone and it's really depressing. Have any of you been through this before surgery? How did you cope? Is all this going to be worth all this fighting? Ugh this is suppose to be a happy time a joyous time a new beginning but I feel like I'm just stuck. Advice?[/quote']

Stay strong ... I know exactly what you are talking about!!! I am just here lying in bed, as I read through all the post.. talking with my husband who just said, "your taking the easy way out!" I am sooooo sick of hearing this! Going to a foreign country , having myself cut open, mourning the lost of food already and having Gained probably ten pounds since I booked my surgery, to me this is not the easy way out. Being 5'4" and about 70 pounds over weight, this is not an option it's a matter of life or a slow miserable unhealthy death! I am booked for surgery dec 13, 2012...

[mendymayhem 52]

I am so sorry that you have such a lack of support. My advice, give up on it. Looking for support other than here that is. We cannot change the way other people feel. But changing your expectations of family and friends in the "outside world" at least wont leave you let down.

Not to defend those around you, but they are realistically in the dark regarding this surgery. We have all done hours and hours of research, searched out qualified doctors, heard the good , the bad, and the ugly about this surgery from many others who have traveled this road before us. We are informed. Most on the outside are not, and ignorance feeds fear. And there are those who feel somewhat jealous or insecure.

Just focus on preparing yourself. I wouldn't even bring it up around the non-supporters again. And if they have more to say, encourage them to do some in depth research in order to understand where you are coming from. Let them know that this is a major step towards good health and in your best interest.

I don't mean to sound like I think I have all the answers!

One more thing though just in case....most likely you can't depend ( or may not want to) on them during the first week or so while you are real sore and tired. Prepare an area in your home (I used my recliner) for early recovery. Stash Water, Chapstick ,tissue, a book ,magazines, phone charger, meds, ect in a basket with easy access for yourself before you leave for the hospital. Just to ease the first few days.

Remember, this is something you are doing to benefit your health and quality of life. Your success does not depend on anyone's support. But you will find plenty of it right here! Take care of yourself and keep us posted, mendy

[BeGuiled 36]

You've decided for yourself and see whats there for you, of course you should hear them out providing thats not to harsh for you. Allot of people never should need this type extreme and have controls built in their selves that make it so that they couldn't imagine doing this at all, we do not.

I've yet for a few people to simply voice their disagreement with this and to me but I am sure they think the same as your people close to you of me in a way, I have much to gain at my age (50) and for future health and avoiding bad result of long term obesiity. They do say bouncing up and back isn't healthy for you either.

You should learn to blend later after your life is different long enough and they will not notice your eating less or what have you, I'd bet they may notice allot more when they sit for a meal with you then too.

Lots of luck, hope you can still see that the thiner you is around the bend now.

[ozeedonkee 145]

It's absolutely not the easy way out. You are so close (9 days!!). If this is what you want (need) to do, then stick with it.

[jaxlaceylace 33]

I want to Thank Everyone from the bottom of my heart that has replied to this thread. Last night after I wrote this, I laid in bed and cried and prayed. I really tried to wrap my mind around everything. When I woke up this morning, I had a whole new perspective. I realized that no matter what you do in life someone is not going to approve. These same people that are judging me about having the surgery are the same people that judge me about my being overweight. So today I'm saying YOLO (you only Live once) and raising my Middle finger in the air, it's time to do this and focus on me for once. Seeing all of you guys positive messages made my morning. I laughed and smiled and knew today was going to be a great day because of them. We are all so lucky to have each other and this site. Thank you guys, Thanks for being there when no one else is. You guys are amazing and wonderful and I pray God blesses you all in your journey to a healthier life. So here's to all of us and where we are heading and what we are doing

[CJ's mom 28]

Hang in there girl! They will come around and if they don't then you do what you gotta do for you! Do you attend any support groups? Where are you located?

[jaxlaceylace 33]

Hang in there girl! They will come around and if they don't then you do what you gotta do for you! Do you attend any support groups? Where are you located?

I dont attend any groups. Im here is Jacksonville, FL I really am thinking about attending some though, i had thought I was going to have enough support from my family and friends, lol WRONGO

[KK66 61]

I think this surgery can bring out the best and for some, the worst. Unfortunately, when people know you are doing something that will benefit you and not them, something that will make you healthier and more attractive, and not them...they scour, they belittle, they make snide comments and make you question yourself...

I chose to tell only those I implicitly trust, starting with my loving boyfriend and my best friends. They have been nothing but supportive, albeit a little concerned for my safety and wellbeing.

I too, have struggled my adult life with an extra 60+ pounds..that I have lost and found several times over. I have horrible hip arthritis, and know that my total hip replacement is around the corner. I am having surgery to better my health, get in shape and face my hip surgery in good form.

Keep your chin up, your heart and mind open to those who love and support you. I would be candid and forthright with the others and simply say, if you cannot support me, or keep your negative opinions to yourself, lose my number.