My Mom Is Trying To Talk Me Out Of Surgery

[amytug 996]

This is so discouraging to me. I thought my mom was on my side as far as surgery goes. She has seen me fluctuate up and down and yo-yo diets over and over over the last 12 years. I am sick and tired of it. I am ready to do something permanent. And I am willing to put in the hard work. . I don't understand why today she is telling me that I have a lots of emotional reasons why I gained the weight. Eating when I am bored, eating when I am lonely, eating when I am stressed. Eating because it's sugar and my body craves sugar.

I know all of these things and I know that I still will have a long road ahead of me surgery or no surgery. But this is my last ditch effort and I feel like there are no other options for me. I am sure that all of you know what I am talking about.

I am not discouraged from getting surgery, I am just a little disappointed that I thought she was on my side and I guess she does not believe that I should get surgery. Now it feels like the only people who actually think I might succeed are you all. Well, and myself.

Sigh

Were or are any of you emotional eaters? Surely this surgery helps us to?

[able2cope 193]

Hi,

From one emotional eater to another - I am 5.5 weeks out and I can tell you, the surgey really does help! sure there is still a bit of head hunger, and 'thinking' of reaching for food when the stress happens... but physically you can't eat like you used to - and after one episode of trying to - boy you will feel the pain and that stays with you in your mnd when the notion hits again... well thats how it is with me.

I think your mum is being really unfair to you - but she is probably worried about you having the surgery, my dad was the same - when they realise that it is really going to happen they panic ad try anything to make you change your mind. Its not right, and its not fair.. but thats my take on it.

Stay strong. This is your life, and you will succeed and be healthy! x

[Lander 74]

My surgeon offers a Life Skills class that is an 8 week course dealing with mental and behavioural eating issues. Helping us to recogize our eating problems and reprogram our brains and behaviour so we don't repeat our mistakes. He also has monthly support groups for post op patients where they have discussions on all these things. Find out if your doctor offers something like this.

[lsereno 2,525]

If you and your Mom are close, offer to take her with you a Dr. appt. The Dr. may be able to help your Mom understand this surgery is your best option for losing weight. Also, if your program offers counseling or an ongoing support group, that might help your Mom feel better about things.

My Mom was terrified of the surgery, but she felt alot better after she found out how thorough my program was and esp. after I took her with me to an appt. with the surgeon. She was still scared a little, but she didn't try to discourage me after that.

Lynda

[TheCurvyJones 721]

This is so discouraging to me. I thought my mom was on my side as far as surgery goes. She has seen me fluctuate up and down and yo-yo diets over and over over the last 12 years. I am sick and tired of it. I am ready to do something permanent. And I am willing to put in the hard work. . I don't understand why today she is telling me that I have a lots of emotional reasons why I gained the weight. Eating when I am bored, eating when I am lonely, eating when I am stressed. Eating because it's sugar and my body craves sugar.

I know all of these things and I know that I still will have a long road ahead of me surgery or no surgery. But this is my last ditch effort and I feel like there are no other options for me. I am sure that all of you know what I am talking about. I am going to hit send even though I am not done because I cannot see what I am typing on my app

I am not discouraged from getting surgery, I am just a little disappointed that I thought she was on my side and I guess she does not believe that I should get surgery. Now it feels like the only people who actually think I might succeed are you all. Well, and myself.

Sigh

Were or are any of you emotional eaters? Surely this surgery helps us to?

Yes I eat my feelings. Stress tastes like burgers and pizza and steak and fries. Happiness tastes like hostess cakes. I also binge, because food is going out of style, right? Right? No? Crap.

This tool is going to be so effective. We're not going to be able to do that, now. My friend suggested to get a little bit of couch time... might help us deal with some of the stress of not being able to run to food. You will either find another outlet or a way to eat around the surgery-- slider foods, etc.

[TheCurvyJones 721]

My mom is excited about my surgery. She does NOT want me to go to Mexico.

[Capt Derel 287]

Mine either but you can stop me. They knew that so they just hoped for the best. Take pics while your down there and show them how clean it is

[TwinsMama 483]

If you and your Mom are close' date=' offer to take her with you a Dr. appt. The Dr. may be able to help your Mom understand this surgery is your best option for losing weight. Also, if your program offers counseling or an ongoing support group, that might help your Mom feel better about things.

My Mom was terrified of the surgery, but she felt alot better after she found out how thorough my program was and esp. after I took her with me to an appt. with the surgeon. She was still scared a little, but she didn't try to discourage me after that.

Lynda[/quote']

Totally agree with taking her with you. My hubby (while supportive) didn't realize just how much work surgery was. He was glad to see after the surgery that this is a lifestyle change and not get thin quick scheme. The presentation opened his eyes.

[tparkerc59 334]

Amytug, you just hang in there. I think most obese people are emotional eaters, if they are truthful with themselves....stress, depression, joy, bored, you name it. I was sleeved 11/6 and I have to tell you, you will be so focused on getting your liquids and Protein in, you will be full! Yes, I get head hunger, but seriously, your new tummy is just not large enough to sabotage your weightloss journey. I promise you you'll only overdo it once...LOL

Keep moving forward. My husband was not for it for a long time, but as I educated him, he got on board and is my biggest supporter. You will do just great, and once the deed is done, your mother will get behind you. Hugs.

[amytug 996]

Thank you so much ladies! And gents? Gosh wha a great group of people here on vst. It's so awesome to finally have a group of people who get it!!!! (Hugs)

I am going to mx and my mom is actually going with me so I'm not sure where all of this came from today.

Thank you again for your support and comforting words.

Oh and ill probably be seeing a sweet counselor here in town. She's not a psychiatrist but she's pretty good.

[ibehere10 163]

I would guess your mom is fearful. I know if my Mom was still alive she would have been supportive but I know she would have been fearful that something bad would happen. Your Mom is going with you and that speaks volumes!! Thank her for being by your side to start your journey ! Tell her you love get and that you know she is worried but that there is a greater chance of your dying early from being obese than anything going wrong with your surgery!

Keep us updated

[lilbearzmom 584]

Think about it this way- if WLS wasn't a good option for people who are emotional eaters- NO ONE would be getting the surgery. We all wear our feelings/emotions right where everyone can see them- on our stomach, thighs, etc. KWIM? Good luck!!!!