Please God!

[Ailly 32]

I feel exactly the same way.

[Capt Derel 287]

Well I know for one thing that I got beat with the ugly stick. A girl told me that on the internet. So it must be true

[rev.meckenzie 18]

Caleb's mommy' date=' I totally understand. I like you am also pretty young, 22. However I'm not married or coupled up. My thing is not wanting to get attention from guys I just want a guy to also be attracted to my non physical good qualities. I fear that when I lose weight I will attract guys that only like me based on appearance. I feel like emotionally I will always be a big girl because that's how I became an adult and when I had major transformation and maturity! I cannot emphasize enough to my friends that I'm getting the surgery so I can like me and I can feel good. Most people think its about aesthetics or vanity![/quote']

I fear that you might struggle, I can see from your profile pic you look beautiful, once you loose weight men will take notice, but there are those that may have already taken notice.

[missmelymelissa 21]

Rev. I will just have to take precaution. The security I have as a big girl is knowing that all the boyfriends I have had have liked me as I am. I guess I'm just going to have to learn how to adjust to being smaller! Next month will be my surgery (fingers crossed!!)

[rev.meckenzie 18]

Rev. I will just have to take precaution. The security I have as a big girl is knowing that all the boyfriends I have had have liked me as I am. I guess I'm just going to have to learn how to adjust to being smaller! Next month will be my surgery (fingers crossed!!)

Just think of it this way. From what you have experienced, once youve lost your weight you will have the ability to see men for who they are as people and respond accirdingly. Just remember who you are and that God has someone who will love you for you.

[missmelymelissa 21]

Very true! Thanks

[Fallenangel2904 494]

Lol me and my best friend we're just talking about this! She had me promise I wouldn't be a d-bag!!!

My best friend did too! Haha she brought it up several times when I was doing pre op stuff like 'please just don't become a b$&@* after surgery lol. I was kind of taken back at first but I guess it can be a real concern. We saw it happen to another friend (who didn't have wls) but she was really stuck up in the beginning

[Ready 2 Fly 22]

I'm wondering about the wrinkles I don't even know I have because they are all fluffed up and spread out with extra face fat. I'm afraid I'll look like a rumpled paper bag.

Yeah, me too. I always said I didn't have wrinkles cause I was fluffy. No I am just hoping I lose, wrinkly or not!

[fyre_storm 1,412]

My best friends getting the surgery next. So we both can be skinny healthy and cute lol no friend left behind!

[Jeffy 8]

@fyre_storm, I didn't know it also happened to men! Except instead if "pretty" it's "handsome face" lol. it's so rare to meet men that have had/are going to have the surgery. It's refreshing to hear from a male perspective!

Yeah, men get it too. I always heard "You're a good looking bigger guy". I hate the need for "bigger" as a qualifier to the rest of the statement.

[39m 5]

I was an ugly fat girl so I have completely accepted the fact that I will be an ugly regular sized person. I say regular sized because I'm Hispanic and big-boned so thin isn't even in my vocabulary. I'm a realist!

If this is your face in that picture.. then you are really far from being ugly more on the pretty side

[OneWritersSoul 353]

If this is your face in that picture.. then you are really far from being ugly <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' /> more on the pretty side <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wink.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />

That's very kind of you to say, 39m. I do appreciate it.

[Ms.AntiBand 2,984]

(Kind of an opposite question)This brings up a problem I always feel when I meet someone who has lost weight. What do I say? " oh you look so good, nice, pretty etc.." What... as if they weren't before? I find it very awkward. I guess I could say, "good for you!", but then I don't want to embarrass them. Maybe it's because it bothers me when other bring attention to me when I lose a lot of weight. I don't like it.. I like to gloat inside,not flaun it.

[OneWritersSoul 353]

(Kind of an opposite question)This brings up a problem I always feel when I meet someone who has lost weight. What do I say? " oh you look so good' date=' nice, pretty etc.." What... as if they weren't before? I find it very awkward. I guess I could say, "good for you!", but then I don't want to embarrass them. Maybe it's because it bothers me when other bring attention to me when I lose a lot of weight. I don't like it.. I like to gloat inside,not flaun it.[/quote']

My honest response is ALWAYS "I didn't think it was possible for you to be more beautiful than you were, but you've proven me wrong!"

I always think of how I'd want someone to speak to or approach me. Then I put that into action. I do not believe that anyone on this earth is ugly except for me. I'm an exception- my biological father, his brothers, and multiple abusers have cemented this. Not a ploy or anything else- a statement of fact, as I have told my therapist. Everyone else, no matter their size, socioeconomic background, life circumstances, etc. is absolutely BEAUTIFUL! So please approach people as such. They simply want to know that someone else is human, that they're not on this journey alone.

[rosehips 121]

I have lost 60 pounds so far and I feel more empathetic to people who are carrying around extra weight and being unhappy about it. I am so thankful I finally got the nerve to have this surgery and I am thankful that I became "ready" to stick with it. It is so fun losing this weight, I am down to a weight I have not been at for 20+ years. And I still have 55 to go to goal!!!

I like all of you prefer to like people for personality not size. People are ignorant about body size it is our culture.

Wrinkles...before I had the surgery I said to my doc "I'm going to get wrinkles on my face (I am 53). He said "then you will be like the rest of us".