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Another Reason Not To Tell People.....



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Just passed my one year surgiversary date (and just had my check up and passed with flying colors!). As I start year 2, I am feeling like a normal person and I don't think about me as a sleeved person so much any more. I just want to be a normal person without a weight problem but if I had told everyone, I think that people would always think of me as a person who had WLS at some point. Just my thought for the day. I guess the longer I go, the happier I am that I only shared this with a few close friends.

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Being 13 post op is really amazing. I forget that I have had wls and I am really normal. When someone compliment me, I am so ready and willing to take in the compliment without even remembering that I had wls. I am challenging my head hunger and reality checking more often and do not crave fast foods at all. My tool is to remind myself of food poison in those places.......It works for me.

Queen of the Crops isn't this inspirational? :)

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I couldn't agree more!

Nobody has any reason to think I had WLS. Everyone who knows me has seen me struggle and yo-yo. After surgery I did not lose weight fast enough to alarm anyone, and now I eat normally, for the first time EVER. No more pigging out and losing control at EVERY. SINGLE. MEAL. I am satisfied with a NORMAL portion (not a restaurant portion, plus a restaurant appetizer, plus dessert, the way I used to do; and no more 3 trips to the buffet!).

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THis is inspiring to hear since my surgery is in 2 days. I haven't told too many people, only a few select and got really upset with my mom when she told my aunt (talk of the town). It's my business, nobody else's and there is no reason that I see anyone else other than who I choose to tell, needs to know. It's not that I am embarrassed or ashamed, just not willing to tell the world.

I'm nervous and numb all at the same time! Can't believe it's 2 days away.

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After surgery I did not lose weight fast enough to alarm anyone, and now I eat normally, for the first time EVER. No more pigging out and losing control at EVERY. SINGLE. MEAL. I am satisfied with a NORMAL portion (not a restaurant portion, plus a restaurant appetizer, plus dessert, the way I used to do; and no more 3 trips to the buffet!).

I'm varying a bit from the topic about 'telling people'....But I cannot WAIT until my surgery, and being able to achieve this type of empowerment! That's wonderful LeaveItToSleever!

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So, here is what is funny.... I told many people, including my family. About 2 months ago, my brother asked me how I finally got a significant amount of weight off - was it Weight Watchers? I reminded him I had surgery and he was like "oh yeah, I forgot" and we proceeded to talk about low carb/high Protein etc etc

Many of the people on my circle that don't know about the surgery seem to have forgotten already how huge I was. They are vaguely aware I have lost weight, but don't see me as the 300 pound woman - or that I ever was. I even shocked my son showing him my "before" photo and he was here living in my house through all this!

Anyway, my point is that even if you have told people, it doesn't remain as the way people see you - how quickly it all becomes the past. Just goes to show that human nature is to be more concerned with themselves then with details of my life...lol

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Many of the people on my circle that don't know about the surgery seem to have forgotten already how huge I was.

I'm finding this as well! I was nearly 320 lbs...now I'm down to 225 (just another 90 lbs to go!). I HAVE to look a lot smaller.....but a lot of the people who I see often (or work with) haven't necessarily noticed that much because it's been gradual. So they are just accepting my current size and not commenting.

On the other hand however, when I run into people I haven't seen in months (and in some cases years), they are AMAZED at the change, and excited to hear how well I'm doing. I tell some about the surgery, for others I just say my portion sizes are dramatically cut back and I'm exercising a lot more (all true!).

It seems it's a matter of perspective and comparison points that makes the difference.

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Agree. Except I just want people to appreciate me for who I am, not because I had WLS. I am still not comfortable with the typical "story" I have to tell people ho know me, but don't know the truth. That is just the way it is. I not only feel always about explaining myself as a former fatties, but also am tired of it, after losing 115 lb at 4.5 months. I am finally feeling an alpha male an me is my own skin for the 1st time in my life. And I love it.

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I'm only 2 weeks out but a friend asked me adding pre & post op weight loss how much I had lost total. When I told her 67 she looks at me & laughs and said thats my 7 year old. I just smiled because I don't think she meant it the way it sounded but I've learned a lesson not the share that info with anyone again. I actually told them to stop asking me because that info was off limits.

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I wish I wouldn't of told my family because it caused a lot of drama. I think my sister is now worried about being the fat one now that I'm losing weight. She wont speak to me at all now and we've never had a falling out like this one. I'm just going to give her space because I've tried talking to her the past 2 weeks and she refuses to speak to me. We live in different states so I don't see her but Im tired of trying so, maybe eventually she will come around...who knows.

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I've told people. Not everyone, mainly close friends and family. No one asks me too many questions. But a few of my friends have had it done so they will just ask about my experience with something we've both been through. The main person is my grandma who asks me every time I see her how much I've lost, but she's 85 so I let it slide lol

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For starters, I told everyone near and dear to my heart. I also work at a bank and any customer who is brave enough to compliment and ask how I've done it -- I have told. Do I think some people will judge? Sure. I joke and respond to their inquires with, 'I lost over 100 pounds but I cheated, I had surgery.' I know how difficult my journey has been and how the surgery is not a quick fix but that is the popular misconception unfortunately. Most people surprisingly praise me and tell me that it's not cheating and surgery is still not the 'easy way out.' I have also given a few people inspiration to look into WLS with my honesty about my weight loss and the process. Everyone has their own way of approaching it and only you'll know what's right in your gut. Best of luck!

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I think the only reason I did tell people was that another lady at work told everyone she had it. I would never have even thought about it if she hadn't gone public and talked to me openly. If I can be an inspiration to someone else like she was to me then I welcome the "whatever" may be coming my way. I say "whatever" because tomorrow will be my first day back so I don't know what to expect.

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I never even thought about hiding it..I tell strangers Co workers family ..enemy's..I'm exited about it..its me and the way I have always seen it is ...if you don't like me for me then what are you doing still around..if you wanna judge..go ahead..my world is still spinning and I'm still in the center..I never even thought of keeping it a secret..people that don't want the best for you..screw em..I don't see it as cheating ..I see it as action

.a sacrifice to have the life you want..over eating is the only dysfunctional behavior that people can see visually. You could be a cold hearted b***h ..but no one will know it. You could be a drug addict and hide that..you could be self rightious and when youbealk into a room no one will know ..some people have abuse their families ...drink too much ..horrible parents..hearltess..selfish..when they walk into a room.

You have no idea what there issues are..and they can fake it all day and night..a fat person can't do that. People know immedialty they eat to much. I would have rather eaten too Much than been any of those things listed above.. all of the thongs listed above are horrible things that over time cause big problems..the only thing about the person that eats too much is they aren't hurting anyone else but them selves. So when I compare me with that person that would judge me based on the choice to have surgery....I would say I'm the better person..I have a heart of gold..and I never needed to judge anyone in my life so that I could feel better about me..I can sit with a homeless person or menatlly insane person without a judgement..so bottom line if your judging me because of this choice ..your the one with the problem..and there is no surgery to fix what your suffering from.

So say it proud ...don't be ashamed peeps!..

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I wish I wouldn't of told my family because it caused a lot of drama. I think my sister is now worried about being the fat one now that I'm losing weight. She wont speak to me at all now and we've never had a falling out like this one. I'm just going to give her space because I've tried talking to her the past 2 weeks and she refuses to speak to me. We live in different states so I don't see her but Im tired of trying so' date=' maybe eventually she will come around...who knows.[/quote']

I'm so sorry to hear that since family is supposed to be supportive of each other and the decisions we make for ourselves. Don't regret your decision to take care of your body. Hang in there hopefully she will come around.

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