Another Reason Not To Tell People.....

[Fiddleman 4,376]

I never even thought about hiding it..I tell strangers Co workers family ..enemy's..I'm exited about it..its me and the way I have always seen it is ...if you don't like me for me then what are you doing still around..if you wanna judge..go ahead..my world is still spinning and I'm still in the center..I never even thought of keeping it a secret..people that don't want the best for you..screw em..I don't see it as cheating ..I see it as action

.a sacrifice to have the life you want..over eating is the only dysfunctional behavior that people can see visually. You could be a cold hearted b***h ..but no one will know it. You could be a drug addict and hide that..you could be self rightious and when youbealk into a room no one will know ..some people have abuse their families ...drink too much ..horrible parents..hearltess..selfish..when they walk into a room.

You have no idea what there issues are..and they can fake it all day and night..a fat person can't do that. People know immedialty they eat to much. I would have rather eaten too Much than been any of those things listed above.. all of the thongs listed above are horrible things that over time cause big problems..the only thing about the person that eats too much is they aren't hurting anyone else but them selves. So when I compare me with that person that would judge me based on the choice to have surgery....I would say I'm the better person..I have a heart of gold..and I never needed to judge anyone in my life so that I could feel better about me..I can sit with a homeless person or menatlly insane person without a judgement..so bottom line if your judging me because of this choice ..your the one with the problem..and there is no surgery to fix what your suffering from.

So say it proud ...don't be ashamed peeps!..

That is a very good way at looking at it.

However, I only told my family members; I only got some pushback from one person, but that was only because he didn't understand why I needed to walk so much at the beginning and why I had to be very careful about what I chose to eat. Now he is fully supportive. I also told doctors and Dentist, but no one else. It will take me a while to come clean with strangers, work colleagues o acquaintances because I am generally not an extrovert where everything is on my shirt sleeve.

I Am getting much better now that i am much thinner, but still am dealing with decades of stereotyping and verbal abuse, all the way back to early child hood. My acknowledge of the abuse that occurred during childhood by family, school associates and basically society is still there; it will never truly go away or be forgotten, however, I no longer let my opportunities be shaped by them and have forgiven them.

I am sure others can relate to that pervasive rejection by society purely because of an outward appearance of being obese or even overweight.

Remember that obesity is a disease and we are only pushing it into remission By choosing to not be the obese person any longer, we are choosing remission. Furthermore, all the non obese people (that is, those hat are thing or deal with being overweight) deal with their own cause and effect by not eating 100% purely nutritionally. They deal with constantly being on a diet because they have a few pounds to lose or they are naturally thing because they or make good decisions and have to exercise.

In general society does not "get it" with regards to our decision. only those that truly love you, will stick by you through thick and thin as a good friend or are paid to be your personal advocate as a medical professional will "get it." everyone else will either be nasty, discriminate or bring it up as a sparring point later on. And that is why I am a little hesitant of shouting my decision of WLS to lose weight from a mountain top. Sorry that is so long winded, but That is from my inner most essence.

[steelergirl 135]

That is a very good way at looking at it.

However' date=' I only told my family members; I only got some pushback from one person, but that was only because he didn't understand why I needed to walk so much at the beginning and why I had to be very careful about what I chose to eat. Now he is fully supportive. I also told doctors and Dentist, but no one else. It will take me a while to come clean with strangers, work colleagues o acquaintances because I am generally not an extrovert where everything is on my shirt sleeve.

I Am getting much better now that i am much thinner, but still am dealing with decades of stereotyping and verbal abuse, all the way back to early child hood. My acknowledge of the abuse that occurred during childhood by family, school associates and basically society is still there; it will never truly go away or be forgotten, however, I no longer let my opportunities be shaped by them and have forgiven them.

I am sure others can relate to that pervasive rejection by society purely because of an outward appearance of being obese or even overweight.

Remember that obesity is a disease and we are only pushing it into remission By choosing to not be the obese person any longer, we are choosing remission. Furthermore, all the non obese people (that is, those hat are thing or deal with being overweight) deal with their own cause and effect by not eating 100% purely nutritionally. They deal with constantly being on a diet because they have a few pounds to lose or they are naturally thing because they or make good decisions and have to exercise.

In general society does not "get it" with regards to our decision. only those that truly love you, will stick by you through thick and thin as a good friend or are paid to be your personal advocate as a medical professional will "get it." everyone else will either be nasty, discriminate or bring it up as a sparring point later on. And that is why I am a little hesitant of shouting my decision of WLS to lose weight from a mountain top. Sorry that is so long winded, but That is from my inner most essence.[/quote']

I understand..especially when you put it like that. I am 309 pounds..and its easy for me because I had support..and no judgements...(that I know of.) I never felt that judged by people or looked at differently..I always said .." my denial saved me from realizing hurtful things..I know that it is hard to be judged and treated differently..you remember.".if they don't love you at your worst they sure as hell don't deserve youbat your best".-monroe

[Fiddleman 4,376]

I understand..especially when you put it like that. I am 309 pounds..and its easy for me because I had support..and no judgements...(that I know of.) I never felt that judged by people or looked at differently..I always said .." my denial saved me from realizing hurtful things..I know that it is hard to be judged and treated differently..you remember.".if they don't love you at your worst they sure as hell don't deserve youbat your best".-monroe

Insult to injury, my twin brother lost weight during elementary school. I did not. A lot of people taunted me through middle school about the weight difference. I tried to be the same weight, but never could keep it off. It drove me to do some things I am not proud of and didn't deal with until about a year ago. Things got much better in high school, but those middle school years damaged me mentally for a long time. And even family was verbally abusive about weight.

That is what I mean about forgiving the people who did this to me in the past. The positive of those ugly years is that it made me stronger and turned me into the overachiever I have always been starting in high school, even to today in the work world. If those same people that made my child hood hell were around today to look at what i made of my life, boy they would be surprised and probably jealous.

i think the good people who belong to this forum are generally in the same boat in that they have much more depth than those that coasted throughout life on their good looks.

[steelergirl 135]

Insult to injury' date=' my twin brother lost weight during elementary school. I did not. A lot of people taunted me through middle school about the weight difference. I tried to be the same weight, but never could keep it off. It drove me to do some things I am not proud of and didn't deal with until about a year ago. Things got much better in high school, but those middle school years damaged me mentally for a long time. And even family was verbally abusive about weight.

That is what I mean about forgiving the people who did this to me in the past. The positive of those ugly years is that it made me stronger and turned me into the overachiever I have always been starting in high school, even to today in the work world. If those same people that made my child hood hell were around today to look at what i made of my life, boy they would be surprised and probably jealous.

i think the good people who belong to this forum are generally in the same boat in that they have much more depth than those that coasted throughout life on their good looks.[/quote']

Absolutely..I hear you on that..a lot of depth and a lot of heart and character..you especially ..I can tell..I am a substance abuse counselor/ therapist...I have 6 months till my masters is done..and some of my clients are very brocken and hurt by others..but they have more heart than some of the very succsesful people I have met in my life. Good luck to you!

[mylifeinpink 349]

Just passed my one year surgiversary date (and just had my check up and passed with flying colors!). As I start year 2' date=' I am feeling like a normal person and I don't think about me as a sleeved person so much any more. I just want to be a normal person without a weight problem but if I had told everyone, I think that people would always think of me as a person who had WLS at some point. Just my thought for the day. I guess the longer I go, the happier I am that I only shared this with a few close friends.[/quote']

Could not agree with you more! Only 6 months out- and I feel exactly the same way now that the weight is all gone

[wonderfuss 6]

I told any and everyone that I've had surgery or that I was working towards WLS. It never occurred to me to keep it under wraps. I'm glad that I didn't honestly. I haven't gone back to work yet but I didn't go thru all the Pre-Op diet and the surgery and the sheer PAIN of it to not to share my story. I've always been one to talk about myself so I was really open about telling people. I've had a bit of pushback but I'm the type of person that if I want something, I'll take it and not listen to others grief.

I've done a lot of educating of my co-workers on the surgery as surprisingly many of them were pretty unaware what it exactly means to have WLS surgery. So its been a journey for practically my whole office!

[Fiddleman 4,376]

I told any and everyone that I've had surgery or that I was working towards WLS. It never occurred to me to keep it under wraps. I'm glad that I didn't honestly. I haven't gone back to work yet but I didn't go thru all the Pre-Op diet and the surgery and the sheer PAIN of it to not to share my story. I've always been one to talk about myself so I was really open about telling people. I've had a bit of pushback but I'm the type of person that if I want something' date=' I'll take it and not listen to others grief.

I've done a lot of educating of my co-workers on the surgery as surprisingly many of them were pretty unaware what it exactly means to have WLS surgery. So its been a journey for practically my whole office![/quote']

Good for you. I am glad that being open and sharing works for you. As with everything, there are always different opinions and approaches. A wise person will know how to disseminate through all the opinions and make decisions based on their own perspective formed from experiences, knowledge and interactions with the world around them. Good luck in your journey.

[wonderfuss 6]

Good for you. I am glad that being open and sharing works for you. As with everything, there are always different opinions and approaches. A wise person will know how to disseminate through all the opinions and make decisions based on their own perspective formed from experiences, knowledge and interactions with the world around them. Good luck in your journey.

Of course there are definitely different opinions and approaches but the real trick for me was keeping the good things in. Its easier said than done but I try to hold onto the good things that people say/do and let go of the bad. I can understand why some people would want to keep things to themselves as is their right and honestly, after awhile it got old talking to people about my WLS as I often felt like I was repeating myself but it just helped me realize that I was making the right decision.

I hope that others can relate and that this decision was a good one for them.

[Fiddleman 4,376]

Of course there are definitely different opinions and approaches but the real trick for me was keeping the good things in. Its easier said than done but I try to hold onto the good things that people say/do and let go of the bad. I can understand why some people would want to keep things to themselves as is their right and honestly' date=' after awhile it got old talking to people about my WLS as I often felt like I was repeating myself but it just helped me realize that I was making the right decision.

I hope that others can relate and that this decision was a good one for them.[/quote']

Good point. Very good point indeed. I focused too much on the negatives most of my life. If I could start over way back when, I would have been a more positive person on the inside. Truth of the matter is that I learned to hate myself because of all the negativity directed at me. It just got worse and worse the older I got. I feel like i put on a good outward appearance to hide this hatred of the control food had over me. For the first time, I feel free of this negativity, free from the control that food had on me and can actually love myself. As a direct consequence, i can really share myself with others without expectations.sorry if this is too much psych-babble, but it is becoming very clear to me now the lies i have been telling myself and the truth I now bask in.

[Queen of Crop 1,103]

Just checking in to see how you're doing? Hope the surgery went well....and you are now on your way!!!!

Queen of Crop

THis is inspiring to hear since my surgery is in 2 days. I haven't told too many people, only a few select and got really upset with my mom when she told my aunt (talk of the town). It's my business, nobody else's and there is no reason that I see anyone else other than who I choose to tell, needs to know. It's not that I am embarrassed or ashamed, just not willing to tell the world.

I'm nervous and numb all at the same time! Can't believe it's 2 days away.