Ready, But Could Use Advice

[icon23 273]

Hi All,

First of all, sorry for the long message. I'm new here--I've actually been lurking for about a week, but I just decided to join. I've been overweight all my life and I've been considering WLS off and on for years, but I just told my bf and my bff about it this week and they aren't being entirely supportive. My bf is supportive of me having the surgery, but he's against me going to Mexico to have it, although he won't (and can't) stop me from doing it. My bff is the person I asked to travel with me and she's not totally against it, but she is adamant that she won't travel to TJ because she thinks it's too dangerous, so she'll only go with me if I get it done in Cancun or PV, which I'm sure you all know is more expensive (but she also started crying at the thought of me going alone). She also wants me to wait a year and to go on a diet and exercise plan with her (mind you, she's only 30 lbs overweight) to see if I can lose enough weight that I'll change my mind.

I'm a grad student, so I don't have a lot of money, so the added expense of going to Cancun or PV is significant. I'm also 37 and I really felt like I dodged a bullet when I was told after my last checkup that I don't have diabetes--diabetes runs on both sides of my family and my mom was diagnosed as diabetic in her 40s, so I feel like a ticking time-bomb. I could actually give a grocery list of all of the obesity-related health issues that run in my family, which is the main reason I don't want to wait anymore. Since I am in school (and spending the winter holidays with loved ones), the earliest that I can get it done is spring break (end of March), which I think is my preference. I have also considered waiting until summer break, just in case I need more than a few days to recuperate, but I would want to do it at the beginning of the summer. If I wait until the end of the summer, I might be able to talk my bff into going with me since that would be a 9-month wait from now, which is sort of close to a year--I am not willing to wait exactly a year because I'll be in the same situation with being in school and unable to go until the end of March. The problem is, even if I wait until the end of summer to get her to go, I will wind up having to pay at least $1500-$2000 more (surgery and airfare) to go to someplace that she feels comfortable. So my dilemma is: do I go in March (to TJ) and hope that I don't have any issues returning to school the following week, do I go in June (to TJ) when I have more time to heal without having my school/work commitments, or do I go in August (to Cancun or PV) when I hope my bff would go with me, although this means a lot more money? I mostly feel okay with going alone until I start to think about what happens if something does go wrong, so any advice and/or words of encouragement would be appreciated.

[Jolie_KeMi 345]

As you know, this choice is for you to make. Your friend, although she loves and adores you, has no idea what it's like to be overweight for most of her life. So if going to TJ is easier your pocket, you have done your research, and you are comfortable with the surgeon you have chosen, I say GO FOR IT.

Search the forums to see if you can find a sleeve buddy. Someone who will be going to TJ when you are going and has the same surgeon. Build up a rapport with your buddy, that way you won't feel alone. I know this sounds scary, and no, I haven't done it, but it's just a suggestion. Who wants to spend another year stuck in a body that makes them totally unhappy? Do what you have to do for YOU!

[icon23 273]

Finding a sleeve buddy is a great idea--now I just have to decide on a date. Thank you!

[Tink22-sleeve 528]

Just my opinion- go in June, when you have more time to heal

[ISleevedIt 380]

You've thought this through and it sounds like beginning of summer would be best for you. Plenty of time to recuperate. A sleeve buddy is a great idea. Good luck. I'm sure whatever decision you make, it will be the best one for you.

[Learningtotwinkle 45]

I don't know if you have seen this already but this girl helped me decide on going to Dr ponce de leon in TJ and it made me feel ALOT more comfortable going to TJ http://www.youtube.com/user/BeautyVGSJourney/videos?view=0

[saddie 21]

its like any other country, we all have bad areas. these drivers that pick us up know there way around and stay out of the bad areas. daytime is much safer to travel there. i know my daughters were worried about me going alone into mexico, but the company that i,m working with assured me there was no danger. hope this helps. i get done on tuesday, so i,ll let you know if it was spooky over there.........saddie

[ByeByefatgirl. 82]

Hi All, First of all, sorry for the long message. I'm new here--I've actually been lurking for about a week, but I just decided to join. I've been overweight all my life and I've been considering WLS off and on for years, but I just told my bf and my bff about it this week and they aren't being entirely supportive. My bf is supportive of me having the surgery, but he's against me going to Mexico to have it, although he won't (and can't) stop me from doing it. My bff is the person I asked to travel with me and she's not totally against it, but she is adamant that she won't travel to TJ because she thinks it's too dangerous, so she'll only go with me if I get it done in Cancun or PV, which I'm sure you all know is more expensive (but she also started crying at the thought of me going alone). She also wants me to wait a year and to go on a diet and exercise plan with her (mind you, she's only 30 lbs overweight) to see if I can lose enough weight that I'll change my mind. I'm a grad student, so I don't have a lot of money, so the added expense of going to Cancun or PV is significant. I'm also 37 and I really felt like I dodged a bullet when I was told after my last checkup that I don't have diabetes--diabetes runs on both sides of my family and my mom was diagnosed as diabetic in her 40s, so I feel like a ticking time-bomb. I could actually give a grocery list of all of the obesity-related health issues that run in my family, which is the main reason I don't want to wait anymore. Since I am in school (and spending the winter holidays with loved ones), the earliest that I can get it done is spring break (end of March), which I think is my preference. I have also considered waiting until summer break, just in case I need more than a few days to recuperate, but I would want to do it at the beginning of the summer. If I wait until the end of the summer, I might be able to talk my bff into going with me since that would be a 9-month wait from now, which is sort of close to a year--I am not willing to wait exactly a year because I'll be in the same situation with being in school and unable to go until the end of March. The problem is, even if I wait until the end of summer to get her to go, I will wind up having to pay at least $1500-$2000 more (surgery and airfare) to go to someplace that she feels comfortable. So my dilemma is: do I go in March (to TJ) and hope that I don't have any issues returning to school the following week, do I go in June (to TJ) when I have more time to heal without having my school/work commitments, or do I go in August (to Cancun or PV) when I hope my bff would go with me, although this means a lot more money? I mostly feel okay with going alone until I start to think about what happens if something does go wrong, so any advice and/or words of encouragement would be appreciated.

i'm going to tj to have my surgery, i was planning for feb. but am willing to wait till the kids r out of school if you want to buddy up. Keep in touch ok!

[AmandaRaeLeo 2,146]

I'm going over Spring Break to TJ. I am lucky to have my mom and found a Sleeve Buddy too! Things will fall into place...

Amanda Rae

[icon23 273]

I really appreciate all of the advice and support here. June makes a lot of sense, but I'm still thinking it through. Tionna0, I will PM you (and thank you for offering to be my sleeve buddy!).

[ByeByefatgirl. 82]

I really appreciate all of the advice and support here. June makes a lot of sense, but I'm still thinking it through. Tionna0, I will PM you (and thank you for offering to be my sleeve buddy!).

You are welcome!

[Webchickadee 716]

I had my surgery in May 2012 in Tijuana. I went alone because it was impossible for my husband or sister to travel with me. I flew down to San Diego (I'm from Toronto, Canada) 2 days early so I could walk around and reduce my chances of blood clots post-op from the long flight. It cost me a couple hundred dollars in hotel costs for 2 nights, but nothing for food (I was on a liquid pre-op diet).

As to going to Tijuana, I was picked up at my hotel by my surgeon's wife. I was never alone in Tijuana other than at the hotel (in my room) unless I chose to go out on the street (which I did a couple of times to look around some shops near the hotel). I found it completely safe and having an escort (either my surgeon's wife, or his assistant) with me not only put my mind at ease, but also they spoke Spanish (I do not) so they negotiated prices on things I bought when we went shopping (2 days after surgery!)

We even planned an outing to go see a movie on my last night, but things got busy for my surgeon and his wife, and we ended up cancelling. I would have enjoyed going to the theater, and it was in a large mall, just like any in the US or Canada.

As mentioned in another post, your escorts know where it is safe and where it is not safe (just like any city in the US or Canada!). They don't take you to "sketchy" areas......it's in their best interest for everything to go smoothly. Why would they risk anything going wrong, when it would negatively affect their reputation and practice?

As to the timing, that is completely up to you. Don't let your friends make you pay more than you should, or wait longer than you want to, to accommodate them. This is YOUR life. YOU are the one stuck in the obese body, with a "skinny girl" just waiting to bust out!

I have been very happy to have lost more than 90 lbs in less than 6 months. If you wait until the end of the summer (because of your BFF), you could have already been 60-70 lbs less than if you go in March! And the $2000 more that it will cost you to wait and pay higher airfare, etc. is much needed money for new clothes as you lose weight! I'm shopping at Value Village on a monthly basis now, as I keep "out-losing" my clothes!

Of course, it's all up to you. But if you're committed to this surgery (I know for me it's the best thing I've ever done for myself and I wish I could have done it 20 years ago) ........don't set your timing based on other people's needs. You will only spend a few days there. Complication rates are VERY low with this surgery, so the likelihood is that you will breeze through it, and the 3-5 days will pass by so fast you won't even blink and they'll be gone. And then you'll be back home figuring out the steps in your recovery, building your new lifestyle, and celebrating each lost pound!

[pania 22]

Don't give up. I'm going to Tijuana on January 2 and gastric sleeve on 3. I'm going by myself and I'm very excited. If you want we can be friends and I can support you with my own experience after I have surgery

Contact me at pania@ hawaii.edu

[ASKSARAH - Sleeve 256]

I am headed to tj January 4

you should go when you want

[pania 22]

Sarahr maybe we can be sleeve buddies

Email me pania@ hawaii.edi