Babysteppin 165 Posted November 7, 2012 Had my upper endoscopy this morning, and the good news is that I don't have an esophageal stricture (there were some concerns that I might). But found out that I have an ulcer, and so I'll need to have another EGD in 2 months to see if it's healed. Just kinda bummed to find out that my surgery is going to be indefinitely pushed back, right when I thought I was almost ready to go I'm also worried that these added months might give me enough time to talk myself out of having the VSG altogether....cause honestly, I've been mentally flip flopping like crazy lately! I have days where I'm totally motivated and pumped to be having it done....and then other days, I feel so insecure about my decision, and say to myself: "What the hell am I doing? Am I really considering doing this??" Has anyone else out there struggled with the 'flip-flop syndrome' too? Or struggled with just being too much 'in your own head' about getting surgery? In any case, thanks for just letting me vent!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sissy Kay 39 Posted November 7, 2012 I loved the move "What About Bob?" as well, Babysteppin! How extremely frustrating for your surgery to be pushed back. It takes a lot of soul searching to get just to the point where you're convinced that the Sleeve is the way to go, then to have it postponed must feel downright aggravating. But, just like being pregnant for 9 months, all the while feeling like the birth will NEVER happen, all of a sudden the day will come and you'll be SO ready for it. I don't believe that you'll actually talk yourself out of having the surgery. We ALL flip-flop just because it's such a big life change that we get to choose to make. You already know, like the rest of us, that the extra weight takes away a part of living, and you really don't want to live that way. You are a very pretty woman and you deserve to be the healthiest and happiest and most confident you can be. YOUR DAY IS COMING AND YOU WILL BE READY FOR IT!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tjloser 62 Posted November 7, 2012 Hang in there babysteppin. You are not alone. I think everybody go through that before they have the surgery because this a serious surgery and it's tough to know what you will have to go through when it's all done. I went through the thoughts of should I or shouldn't I, all the way to the OR. But I'm glad I did. Nervousness is normal, so take care of your health now and see where it takes you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mwrarr 244 Posted November 7, 2012 I'm flipping a little myself. I was dead set against surgery...then I was ready & raring to go. Waited 2months for referral appts, started doubting. Have spent 2 months getting through referral appts & starting to flip again bc of the financial end. (seems selfish) IDK...I'm glad to be going back to my surgeon Friday. Maybe it will re-motivate my belief that this will actually happen. 347*294/285/135 (*347HW/294SSW) | @Mwrarr | mwrarr.wordpress.com Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Babysteppin 165 Posted November 7, 2012 Thanks so much everyone. It's so comforting to know that I'm not alone in the ups and downs of the whole pre-surgery process....especially the mental olympics involved in sticking with the desicion to have surgery. I had been thinking to myself: "Well, if I'm questioning my decision so much, then I must not be the 'right type of person' to have the procedure. The 'right type of person' would know that they know that they know......and know it 100% of the time!!" Um, yeah - craziness. Anywaaays, moving on from that kind of thinking... lol I think it's time to be stuck in my own head a little less :ph34r: , and listen to you guys a little more! And Sissy Kay - you're so right also...the extra weight DOES take away a part of living, and I want that part back! Thanks again friends. You are amazing. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BewhoGodcreatedmetobe 124 Posted November 7, 2012 Dont give up! During these 2 months, you can learn how to take care of yourself and love yourself for who you are. The surgery is important so that we can be healthy. p.s. 8 weeks isnt that long. 1 Babysteppin reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MSCoastRPh 11 Posted November 8, 2012 I definitely understand and feel your indecision! I had to go through the 6 mo of weight loss management required by my insurance, Cigna. I lost 70 lbs during this time so really began to question my decision to have the surgery. I actually decided against it for 3-4 weeks. I then realized I still have about 150lbs to lose and need the surgery as one of several "weapons" against this fat I've been saddled with all my life! I say take the time waiting for surgery to systematically get rid of as many bad eating habits as you can, learn to really appreciate the value of exercise to help you manage the slip ups that are inevitable and just get down to the task of living the rest of your life! My surgeon has submitted to Cigna and we are now waiting for approval. Best of luck to us all! Denise Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Babysteppin 165 Posted November 8, 2012 I definitely understand and feel your indecision! I had to go through the 6 mo of weight loss management required by my insurance, Cigna. I lost 70 lbs during this time so really began to question my decision to have the surgery. I actually decided against it for 3-4 weeks. I then realized I still have about 150lbs to lose and need the surgery as one of several "weapons" against this fat I've been saddled with all my life! I say take the time waiting for surgery to systematically get rid of as many bad eating habits as you can, learn to really appreciate the value of exercise to help you manage the slip ups that are inevitable and just get down to the task of living the rest of your life! My surgeon has submitted to Cigna and we are now waiting for approval. Best of luck to us all! Denise Thanks so much Denise. You, and other folks here are right....this setback could give me some extra time to really work on developing better habits in eating/exercise, etc. Plus as they say, sometimes blessings come in disguise. So in the meantime, maybe I'll just try to look at it as extra batting practice for the real thing. Way to go on your insurance submission! I hope you hear back soon! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DanaMomto3 145 Posted November 8, 2012 My egd showed multiple ulcers, but I am so glad to have found them! Without the EGD I never would have known and ulcers can turn into cancer and my father died of esophageal cancer, so I am thankful mine have been biopsied and will be rechecked in 2 months! 1 Babysteppin reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Babysteppin 165 Posted November 8, 2012 My egd showed multiple ulcers, but I am so glad to have found them! Without the EGD I never would have known and ulcers can turn into cancer and my father died of esophageal cancer, so I am thankful mine have been biopsied and will be rechecked in 2 months! Oh gosh, that is so true! I'm definitely glad to have found out as well....I probably would never have had an EGD if it weren't required, so I wouldn't have known either!! So sorry to hear of your father's illness. My father has Barrett's Esophagus, which he gets EGD's for every few months to make sure it doesn't turn cancerous. So um, yeah. Not something to mess around with! Here's hoping all goes well for us both at re-check time. Thanks for sharing with me. I don't feel so alone with this problem Share this post Link to post Share on other sites