Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Awwwww....you Don't Need That Surgery. You Aren't Big Enough.



Recommended Posts

How many of you out there were told by family and friends, "you don't need that surgery", "why are you having that surgery", "why not lose it the natural way", or "you aren't that big"? I have made the conscious decision not to share my decision to have the gastric sleeve surgery with people for that very reason. I have only shared the news with my sister and brother in law. It's amazing how critical people can be. I am scheduled for surgery Nov. 13th and I start my clear liquid diet tomorrow. I never thought I would be so excited to start a clear liquid diet. Please share how family and friends reacted to learning of your decision to have surgery.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have told everyone, friends, family, random strangers. I have recieved nothing but postive feedback from everyone I told. The only people I haven't told are my husband family because they have been super critical and judgemental of my weight in the past. We will see my husbands mom for the 1st time in 5 years in June and I will be 15 months out. I have no intention of telling her just gonna tell her it was diet and exercise.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have told everyone, friends, family, random strangers. I have recieved nothing but postive feedback from everyone I told. The only people I haven't told are my husband family because they have been super critical and judgemental of my weight in the past. We will see my husbands mom for the 1st time in 5 years in June and I will be 15 months out. I have no intention of telling her just gonna tell her it was diet and exercise.

I did end up telling a few co-workers. Most people are supportive but about half did initially say they thought I didn't need the surgery. They have never seen me when I wasn't overweight, so they rally don't have anything to compare my current weight to.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Same things im getting from my friends and family. I just block them out, i am doing this for me, to be here longer, be healthier and get to have energy to play with my children and be healthy for them, and teach them healthy habits also. they tell me its dangerous and this and that. ofcourse anything can happen. i just hope they pray for me and wish me all the luck, and help me through my journey.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wish one person would have told me that! lol!I just get agreed with which makes me thinks I am waaaay bigger than I thought!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have told everyone. No one said that I didn't need it, should do it the old-fashioned way, or that I wasn't that big. But three coworkers expressed concern over the risks, not really being non-supportive or judgmental. I was scared to death to tell my grown sons, but they were totally supportive and accepting when I did.

My husband has been my rock. Tells me everyday how glorious I look. Has changed his eating habits and lifestyle to be more in sync with mine. Prepares all his own food. What a man!

But bottom line, to heck with what "they" say. Do what you need to do for you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I chose to not share this info with anyone at all for this very reason. You can see my stats 5'7 and 195lbs at time of surgery. I chose this for my own reasons and my own life. My husband and my two best friends knew before hand and are still to this day the only people who know. They were all supportive and know me well enough to know that I wouldn't mess around unless I had done my research. mums the word. I've also been following up with my PCP so he knows and he too is secretly excited for me after he had been prescribing me various diet pills over the years ;)

I'm sure even posting this email some numbnutt will post that I'm stupid for doing what I've done however this was a gift to myself and to my family so that I can live longer/avoid diabetes and heart problems due to the my heaviness. DO a quick gutt check with yourself and see what you really want and why you are doing this. It is a bold move and alot of work, know what you are looking to get out of it as well.

Best of luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've heard the "but you're not THAT big" part..well, I suppose I don't appear that big to some people, I'm only 5'1. I refer to myself as the little-big girl...I've had to defend my decision to more than one person, sometimes makes me wish I wouldn't have told anyone. What they don't realize is that I'm more afraid of living the next twenty/thirty years feeling the way I am (or worse) than of dying on the table attempting to improve my life.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i tell people generally, but had originally planned on only telling close friends. I decided to tell them after realizing that if I didn't I was going to need to lie, which is not part of my make up. (half truths are as much a lie as a lie to me).

I ended up being happy I did tell people because I had major complications and those dear friends who supported me, but also felt I was "not big enough, or fine the way I was" helped my family during my very long hospital stay. Had I not told them I think they would have been angry with me (as I would have been with them) so I thank goodness I chose honesty as the best policy.

I don't care what people, strangers and friends, think about what I did The people in my life support me, those who don't aren't worth having in my life. I'm old and cynical that way :) But we also had scheduled charity events that had to be cancelled while I was in hospital and for those I felt better telling the truth about why I had to cancel than lying and giving half truths would have made me feel.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Im on my second day of liquid diet and I'm excited too..not as hard as I thought it was going to be...but yes on Tuesday I mentioned that I'm having surgery and this guy I didn't really know said that it was "the easy way out" and I just laughed and told him that we don't have to talk about it anymore and that was that...the comment about not being that big...I got that from my very own PCP and a coworker but you know everyone has an opinion and it doesn't bother me one bit cause the only opinion that matters is yours..life is short who gives a **** what people think. :-) you go friend! Be confident and believe in your decision and move on.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I worry about this too. I am 5'5" and weigh about 215 right now. i have hypertension and sleep apnea. i also have a family hx of cancer and hesrt disease. I have only told my husband and daughters (13 and 11). I haven't told my mom, sister or the in-laws yet but plan too. I want to be a little closer to actually having surgery before I tell them though. I am struggling with whether I want to tell anyone at work. I have a very close co-worker who is also over weight (obese) and I actually worry about how my decision might affect her. Will it make. Her feel bad or uncomfortable...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • rinabobina

      I would like to know what questions you wish you had asked prior to your duodenal switch surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • cryoder22

      Day 1 of pre-op liquid diet (3 weeks) and I'm having a hard time already. I feel hungry and just want to eat. I got the protein and supplements recommend by my program and having a hard time getting 1 down. My doctor / nutritionist has me on the following:
      1 protein shake (bariatric advantage chocolate) with 8 oz of fat free milk 1 snack = 1 unjury protein shake (root beer) 1 protein shake (bariatric advantage orange cream) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein bar 1 protein shake (bariatric advantace orange cream or chocolate) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein soup (chicken) 3 servings of sugar free jello and popsicles throughout the day. 64 oz of water (I have flavor packets). Hot tea and coffee with splenda has been approved as well. Does anyone recommend anything for the next 3 weeks?
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        All I can tell you is that for me, it got easier after the first week. The hunger pains got less intense and I kind of got used to it and gave up torturing myself by thinking about food. But if you can, get anything tempting out of the house and avoid being around people who are eating. I sent my kids to my parents' house for two weeks so I wouldn't have to prepare meals I couldn't eat. After surgery, the hunger was totally gone.

    • buildabetteranna

      I have my final approval from my insurance, only thing holding up things is one last x-ray needed, which I have scheduled for the fourth of next month, which is my birthday.

      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BetterLeah

      Woohoo! I have 7 more days till surgery, So far I am already down a total of 20lbs since I started this journey. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Well done! I'm 9 days away from surgery! Keep us updated!

    • Ladiva04

      Hello,
      I had my surgery on the 25th of June of this year. Starting off at 117 kilos.😒
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Congrats on the surgery!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×