To Those That Are Post-Op...2 Questions From An "undecided"

[GirlOnFire 111]

I'm a newbie in here...Just starting to seriously consider the sleeve as an option for me...and I have a couple questions for those of you that have already had the surgery.

1.) If you could talk to yourself pre-op what would you say? What would you tell the you that was still undecided about having the surgery?

2.) Do you ever regret having the procedure? Even in tiny moments...like dinner out with friends or around the holidays? Do the regrets ever out weight the results?

[Faith4me 6]

Thanks for posting this as I am in the undecided position at this time. I want to lose the weight but not enjoying food (even healthy food) and not being able to enjoy social outings.

I look forward to everyone's response

[Neese 75]

Hello newbies!

1.) If you could talk to yourself pre-op what would you say? What would you tell the you that was still undecided about having the surgery?:

If I could talk to myself pre-op I would first off give myself a big hug because I know the pain I felt inside. I would then tell myself to let go of any fear or anxiety that might hold me back. There is a reason I am feeling desperate enough to have surgical intervention and I would advise myself to follow through with my gut instinct. Then I would congratulate myself for making such a difficult, and thoroughly researched, decision.

2.) Do you ever regret having the procedure? Even in tiny moments...like dinner out with friends or around the holidays? Do the regrets ever out weight the results?:

At first I did have small feelings of regret and bitterness at the fact I had to have surgery. I think I was still hating myself because I was still 'heavy' and to further that, I had no food at this point to make me feel better. I had no sembelence of normalcy because food was such a staple in my life. Sometimes I might give myself a 5 second pity party because I cannot drink a milkshake etc. etc. The thing is I AM able to do all of those things but I made the decision to make a lifestyle change. Not only did this surgery give me the tool to lose weight but it gave me the tool to change my relationship with food. I am able to eat and be fulfilled without going back for seconds just to fill myself. I still love and eat the foods that I love -- and I am not always perfect with my diet. I enjoy social outings and eat with friends but just pay less now because I order appetizers . I have been able to really figure out which foods I love and abandon the ones that I ate out of boredom, depression, etc. So at the end of the day I never regret the decision to have my surgery.

Now I am writing to YOU; the doubt and thoughts that you are having are absolutely normal. Every surgeon/insurance company gives their patient steps to go through before the surgery. Take advantage of these (nutritional advice, psychological evaluation) they are honestly helpful tools that you can carry into post op. I wish you nothing but the best of luck and health -- whatever decision you make.

Peace and love

[iggychic 1,405]

1.) If you could talk to yourself pre-op what would you say? What would you tell the you that was still undecided about having the surgery?

I would do two things...first tell myself that I have a six year old with special needs and if I take a risk with my life I could be throwing him backwards in his development, even with just a prolonged absence while in hospital. I would also then grab a knife and a garden hose, cut a hole under my breast with only topical anesthesia, shove the hose into my lungs without anesthesia, and then ask myself if the pain was worth the next glass of wine or cookie? Believe me, the tortures I went through to save my life after the surgery were numerous, and most were severe enough to have made me join a gym and cut back for a lifetime!

2.) Do you ever regret having the procedure? Even in tiny moments...like dinner out with friends or around the holidays? Do the regrets ever out weight the results?

Every time I look at my child. I was away from him for 46 days. I nearly died more than once. His feeding is set back as is his potty training. Steps that took all summer are back to the beginning. And what if I'd have died? I am his primary care provider and therapist. My husband works significant hours and his nanny is lovely...family really, but she's not trained in caring for him as I am. I took a stupid chance because I wanted to look better. I regret it despite the results.

Now, that's the ugly side of the sleeve...the complications. I like to tell people that you need to weigh your entire life scale to make this decision. For me, with a small child, I had the surgery at the wrong time. I risked complications and death and should have not been so selfish as to have done that when he was so needy. I had no comorbidities and was lower bmi (35) so this really was about looking good in my case. I wasn't risking death due to my weight (my family lives til 100 easily, even when heavy) I was just unhappy with my looks. If you are pushing highly obese, and have co morbidities, your life scale might balance in a different direction than mine.

I can't undo what's been done, but I still risk losing my stomach or having a third surgery due to complications. I regret it in a big way.

[COsleeveDude 273]

1. I can't answer #1. I had hesitation about RNY, but once I learned about VSG and knew it was covered I was decided.
   
   
2. I haven't regretted it once. Everyone has some slight buyers' remorse at some point, most often in the first few weeks. But regrets? None. Some people who have had more difficulties or complications might disagree, but the benefits outweigh the risks.
   
   And, it is not like you won't be able to eat again. That's the biggest misnomer. You will be able to eat again, and maybe eat whatever you want. Just less of it less often.
   

Good luck.

[Faith4me 6]

Thank you Neese, one thing you mentioned was take the steps the surgeon/insurance companies gives and I do think that is important but for me, I am self pay and going to Mexico for the surgery and there isn't any pre-stuff that prepares and assists with my decision. I wish my insurance covered weight loss surgery so I can stay in the USA.

I know this will be the best thing for me although a scary process to go through out of the country but once I get home and recover I know I will be able to live a much more happier & healthier life. Thanks again!!

[Neese 75]

Faith4Me,

Sorry about my ignorance! I know there are so many self payers out there and I didn't even consider that on my rant. My apologies! If you do have insurance most of them do cover one visit to a psychologist and I would suggest that IF it is covered. As for the nutritionist as long as you follow your directions you should be fine as well. You're asking questions and getting answers so I am sure you are thoroughly researching this and as a result you will be successful. (:

[gaye jarvis 751]

I'm a newbie in here...Just starting to seriously consider the sleeve as an option for me...and I have a couple questions for those of you that have already had the surgery.

1.) If you could talk to yourself pre-op what would you say? What would you tell the you that was still undecided about having the surgery?

2.) Do you ever regret having the procedure? Even in tiny moments...like dinner out with friends or around the holidays? Do the regrets ever out weight the results?

If I could talk to myself pre op I would have said "why the crap didn't you do this 20 yrs ago"

Heck no! No regrets! There is nothing that has happened to me since surgery that outweighs the fact that I have lost 90 lbs in 4 1/2 months! Whoop Whoop!!!! Best darn decision ever!

[gmanbat 5,889]

1.) If you could talk to yourself pre-op what would you say? What would you tell the you that was still undecided about having the surgery?

I would do two things...first tell myself that I have a six year old with special needs and if I take a risk with my life I could be throwing him backwards in his development, even with just a prolonged absence while in hospital. I would also then grab a knife and a garden hose, cut a hole under my breast with only topical anesthesia, shove the hose into my lungs without anesthesia, and then ask myself if the pain was worth the next glass of wine or cookie? Believe me, the tortures I went through to save my life after the surgery were numerous, and most were severe enough to have made me join a gym and cut back for a lifetime!

2.) Do you ever regret having the procedure? Even in tiny moments...like dinner out with friends or around the holidays? Do the regrets ever out weight the results?

Every time I look at my child. I was away from him for 46 days. I nearly died more than once. His feeding is set back as is his potty training. Steps that took all summer are back to the beginning. And what if I'd have died? I am his primary care provider and therapist. My husband works significant hours and his nanny is lovely...family really, but she's not trained in caring for him as I am. I took a stupid chance because I wanted to look better. I regret it despite the results.

Now, that's the ugly side of the sleeve...the complications. I like to tell people that you need to weigh your entire life scale to make this decision. For me, with a small child, I had the surgery at the wrong time. I risked complications and death and should have not been so selfish as to have done that when he was so needy. I had no comorbidities and was lower bmi (35) so this really was about looking good in my case. I wasn't risking death due to my weight (my family lives til 100 easily, even when heavy) I was just unhappy with my looks. If you are pushing highly obese, and have co morbidities, your life scale might balance in a different direction than mine.

I can't undo what's been done, but I still risk losing my stomach or having a third surgery due to complications. I regret it in a big way.

You are awesome, Iggychic! I pray that everything works out for you.

I am glad that you have the guts to tell your story as a very needed balance against ultra-positive cheerleaders like myself. This operation is not a haircut, suffering and death are possibilities like any other major operation.

If cosmetics are your only motivation, folks, I advise you to rethink your life. Let Iggychic's words speak to you.

[suejersey 263]

I had surgery almost four weeks ago. What I would tell myself before surgery is - YOU ARE IMPORTANT. Your body will begin to hold you back from LIVING and you and your FAMILY deserve better than that, so take the steps, pay the price and go for it.

I am only a few weeks out so I can't say I have regrets but when I think about that this is FOREVER it can be daunting. I am not in any way unhappy that I did it, I know it will extend my life and allow me to LIVE again, not just watch from the sidelines. I have my first holiday (Thanksgiving) coming up so we shall see how that is. I plan to eat my two favorite things - stuffing and spinach casserole and skip the rest. I know I will be satisfied, as far as full in my stomach, and hopefully my head will go along. I haven't had too much trouble with the head hunger or temptation so hopefully that continues.

Someday I will have a taste of cheesecake or a sip of milkshake or a small ice cream cone, just not right now and not in the sizes that I used to have in the past and those small treats will be enjoyed but not missed in between.

The surgery really is a wonderful TOOL.

Good luck in your decision!

[Ailly 32]

Hello newbies!

1.) If you could talk to yourself pre-op what would you say? What would you tell the you that was still undecided about having the surgery?:

If I could talk to myself pre-op I would first off give myself a big hug because I know the pain I felt inside. I would then tell myself to let go of any fear or anxiety that might hold me back. There is a reason I am feeling desperate enough to have surgical intervention and I would advise myself to follow through with my gut instinct. Then I would congratulate myself for making such a difficult' date=' and thoroughly researched, decision.

2.) Do you ever regret having the procedure? Even in tiny moments...like dinner out with friends or around the holidays? Do the regrets ever out weight the results?:

At first I did have small feelings of regret and bitterness at the fact I had to have surgery. I think I was still hating myself because I was still 'heavy' and to further that, I had no food at this point to make me feel better. I had no sembelence of normalcy because food was such a staple in my life. Sometimes I might give myself a 5 second pity party because I cannot drink a milkshake etc. etc. The thing is I AM able to do all of those things but I made the decision to make a lifestyle change. Not only did this surgery give me the tool to lose weight but it gave me the tool to change my relationship with food. I am able to eat and be fulfilled without going back for seconds just to fill myself. I still love and eat the foods that I love -- and I am not always perfect with my diet. I enjoy social outings and eat with friends but just pay less now because I order appetizers . I have been able to really figure out which foods I love and abandon the ones that I ate out of boredom, depression, etc. So at the end of the day I never regret the decision to have my surgery.

Now I am writing to YOU; the doubt and thoughts that you are having are absolutely normal. Every surgeon/insurance company gives their patient steps to go through before the surgery. Take advantage of these (nutritional advice, psychological evaluation) they are honestly helpful tools that you can carry into post op. I wish you nothing but the best of luck and health -- whatever decision you make.

Peace and love [/quote']

I don't think anyone could have responded any better. Kudos!

[LindaS 316]

My dad had the opportunity to have weight loss surgery about 20 years ago. He chickened out. He didn't go to my school events; he never saw me cheer or play in the band. He spent most of my life sitting in a chair and relying on other people to get him things. The last 5 years of his life were so bad he was in the hospital more than he was out of them. In the days before he died, he was home. My mom had to call the ambulance, and the ambulance crew couldn't get him out of the house. They had to call in another crews. They still couldn't get him out. They had to call in volunteer firefighters. It took 10 people dragging my dad's naked body on a tarp to get him out of our house and into the ambulance. He died two days later of a stroke. He was 69, and he didn't live life. His weight made him do more preparations for dying than he ever did for living.

So to answer your questions:

1.) If you could talk to yourself pre-op what would you say? What would you tell the you that was still undecided about having the surgery?

You deserve to LIVE a life that is active and full and healthy. You will not realize until it happens all of the tiny ways your life will become easier and better and happier and healthier. Without this surgery, you will be hurting your husband and your kids because you won't be there for them when they need you to be. It has already happened, and it will again. This weight is keeping you from fitting into too many things including your own life. Don't be afraid of dying -- be afraid of not living.

2.) Do you ever regret having the procedure? Even in tiny moments...like dinner out with friends or around the holidays? Do the regrets ever out weight the results?

I don't regret this surgery at all even when out to dinner or around the holidays. I don't miss food. And now, I don't miss my family.

[xlr8ahead 40]

I would tell myself.its so easy an nothing to worry about.im only 6wks out and down 42lbs.i could never have done this without the sleeve.but i think im very lucky .i havnt had any problems ,recovery was fine.i can tolerate practically anything in very small portions.im so glad i had it done.never once have i thought what have i done.it has really supprised me.i dont feel like iv had anything done .its just you cant eat much .which is what we want rite !!.

[amykins 202]

I'm a newbie in here...Just starting to seriously consider the sleeve as an option for me...and I have a couple questions for those of you that have already had the surgery.

1.) If you could talk to yourself pre-op what would you say? What would you tell the you that was still undecided about having the surgery?

I would ask myself how the last 5-10 years have been and how do I want the next 5-10 to be? How many times have I lost weight & gained it back plus a few more? I've been single for years and avoid relationships because I didn't want anyone (including myself) to see me naked. Do I want to be single forever or have relationships with guys who treat me badly because of my low self-esteem? I look at my parents who are morbidly obese and are just breathing, not living. Do I want to live like that? Do I want to be a lonely old lady living alone with my cats or do I want a fulfilling life with friends and a man who adores me as much as I adore him? Do I want to keep crying when I try on clothes because each time I am a size larger and all the cute clothes I like are too small?

2.) Do you ever regret having the procedure? Even in tiny moments...like dinner out with friends or around the holidays? Do the regrets ever out weight the results?

To follow question #1, there are 99 reasons to lose the weight, and food ain't one. I'm only two months out but I can guarantee that even an in & out burger doesn't taste as good as jumping in front of a camera for the first time in years and POSING with a huge smile instead of hiding behind everyone else. I am truly happy for the first time in years. I feel like I am beginning a whole new chapter in my life and I'm so excited to see what the future holds. I have no regrets at all.

[amykins 202]

Thank you Neese, one thing you mentioned was take the steps the surgeon/insurance companies gives and I do think that is important but for me, I am self pay and going to Mexico for the surgery and there isn't any pre-stuff that prepares and assists with my decision. I wish my insurance covered weight loss surgery so I can stay in the USA.

I know this will be the best thing for me although a scary process to go through out of the country but once I get home and recover I know I will be able to live a much more happier & healthier life. Thanks again!!

I went to Mexico for my surgery and I have no regrets. I had an excellent surgeon and the staff was amazing. I went alone, although I was lucky enough to meet two people who had surgery with Dr Aceves the same day. There were several other people there in various stages of recovery, so I always had someone to talk to.