A spouses questions??

[adreinke 0]

Hello all,

My wife is being banded tomorrow the 10th of October 2006 in Mexico. I support her 100% as this is what she wants. I do on the other hand have some questions about life after the band. One of my favorite things to do is cook. How will her having the band affect that? I know that for the first couple of months the affect will be huge do to the strict diet she has to follow. Also we used to go out to dinner quit often. What is it like for you and your spouses when you go to dinner now. Lastly we have a vacation for the two of us scheduled for four weeks after her surgery:clap2: Will she be up for it or should I try to get a refund now? I hope you can help me out and I would like to say congrats to all of you for taking the steps to make your life better!

[cassandra 0]

I am just over a month post op - but my diet is not really restricted at all. The only things that are tough are thick, doughy white bread. Also, if she drinks alcohol - I'll let you know that after one drink I am drunk - so make sure you are there to drive her.

I wouldn't worry about the vacation or cooking - just try to make healthy meals and support her new eating habits. We bandsters can eat about anything in moderation. The best thing you can do for her is to be supportive, and try not to tempt her with delicious, high fat foods.

[Constance 0]

Don't worry! The healing phase was a bit tricky for my husband. He would want to go out for Mexican and I'd say "do you think they have chicken broth?" But once you progress to mushy and soft foods you can find things on the menu at a restaurant.

Take that vacation! At one month I was doing great! If anything, at one month I had lost ALL of the post surgery restriction and felt like I could eat a horse!

Don't stress about the food. She will still be able to enjoy a wide variety of foods...just in smaller quantities and at a slower pace. Yes, she may have difficulty with bread or Pasta but that is different for everyone. For me, bread and things that are too doughy aren't that tempting when you know the consequences. What is worse, it having treats like ice cream, Cookies and other yummies around. They go down TOO easy!

[edieparks 2]

My hubby and I just got back from vacation and we learned to share one meal. It was romantic looking at the menu and deciding what "we" wanted. We didnt explain anything to anybody . We would just say we are sharing.

I was banded 7/19/06.

My feelings on cooking is just try for medium calorie foods. You dont want your cooking to be boring but forget about pecan pies too. Keep in mind your wife is trying to lose weight.

edie:o

[beachgirl 2]

It'll all be fine, and bless your heart for being so supportive. I think you'll be fine for vacation. I felt great after 2 weeks and could eat anything after 3 weeks and she won't have restriction yet so you should be fine. As far as your cooking, it will still be great, she can sample everything bite or two of this and that she will just let you have more and we always share plates at rest now or get a to go box.

Tell her I wish her and you luck as well and will say a prayer for her. Will be keeping you guys in my thoughts.

[Jachut 487]

I eat anything and everything, just way less than I used to. As a supportive and caring spouse you would soon get to know if there's some things she jsut cant tolerate and perhaps learn to cook some lighter things, they're just as much fun! And some of the more evil things, like cake, are just about impossible for some people to eat.

The holiday, well she should be well into mushies by 4 weeks and really, there's a huge variety you can eat, perhaps just call ahead and explain the situation, by 4 weeks you should be able to pretty much adapt anything.

[belle75067 0]

My poor hubbie and son have went through every stage of this with me it seems. When I first came home they kept liquids by my side and my Protein Shakes made. They still eat what they normally do but on my day off I cook and they know I have to make softer dishes and they don't complain. My hubbie is always looking at me when I put my hand on my stomach and asks me if I am ok. I agree when me and my husband out now we share a meal, an appetizer usually. He jokes and says I am sure a cheap date now. Just be supportive and make sure you know what stage she is in, the liquids, mushy or solids. She will find what she can't eat and what she can with ease and let you know. Just be the good husband you sound like and she and you will do fine.

Belle

[Koala 0]

My husband and I used to go out to eat a lot. Since the band, we have toned that way down to once a week or so. I find it hard to stay positive and content with eating less if we are in a restaurant with food I used to overindulge in. It makes making good choices seem like work to me.

Now, we really appreciate our meals out much more though. We really talk about where we are going and what sounds good, and we also share plates sometimes, too.

In our experience, the band has changed the situations you mentioned. For me to be successful, we choose to adjust anything that brings temptation too close because constantly saying "no" to myself makes me feel deprived, and that doesn't contribute to this being a positive, happy change in my life.

Here are a few changes I've made on my own that help me:

I tivo everything I watch so that I can zap through all food commercials. You'd be surprised how much this stops a person from obsessing about pizza or hamburgers.

I don't eat in the faculty lunchroom where I would have to see a variety of food that I used to eat. I prefer to have a few people in my classroom, to eat my lean cuisine meals, and to have some quiet conversation.

Everyone walks a different path with the band. For me, I'm a much happier person when I'm not constantly having to turn down food that really appeals to me.

[barbara465 2]

My husband cooks all our meals. He asks me each day what I want or what I can eat. He doesn't always eat the same things and thats OK with me. This is my choice and I don't feel deprived. He knows what stage I'm in and cooks accordingly. We have learned now to bake only one potato and share and slice thick pork chops into thinner ones. He knows when to put a small container of applesauce by my plate for dipping. I have found that meat is easier when dipped in something. He has learned now that I eat my meat a little rarer because it is more tender. We never reheat certain foods because they become tough.

I was back at work after just a few days. The biggest problem was post surgery swelling. I work loose clothes for the 1st month. Your wife might experience that, but vacationing should be just fine. She will enjoy the get away and having food not the focus.

Good luck to her and to you for being so supportive.

[Vera 7]

What a sweet husband you are.

Everyone has great suggestions, I love the tivo and cut out all the comercials idea.

All I have to share is...I love my presure cooker and crock pot! Tender meats without eating mush.

Have a great vacation.

[jahair 0]

Hello all,

My wife is being banded tomorrow the 10th of October 2006 in Mexico. I support her 100% as this is what she wants. I do on the other hand have some questions about life after the band. One of my favorite things to do is cook. How will her having the band affect that? I know that for the first couple of months the affect will be huge do to the strict diet she has to follow. Also we used to go out to dinner quit often. What is it like for you and your spouses when you go to dinner now. Lastly we have a vacation for the two of us scheduled for four weeks after her surgery:clap2: Will she be up for it or should I try to get a refund now? I hope you can help me out and I would like to say congrats to all of you for taking the steps to make your life better!

As husbands go, you are definitely in the "keeper" list! You are supportive and making the effort to get yourself educated so she can keep winning. What a guy! :whoo:

The only other thing I would add to the great comments you have already received is be prepared for any and all reactions to food. She will be learning what her body needs at each stage of healing and then trying to meet those needs while giving up the old habits. When you are the chef it is hard to be objective when someone doesn't eat what you have made or doesn't eat enough. Make a pact between you that it will be alright for her to say, "I'm sorry, that doesn't work for me because....." and that it is not said in disrespect or non-appreciation of you.

Another trick for eating out is for her to order an appetizer as her entree and get a taste off your plate. Enjoy your vacation!

Let us know how she is doing.

Jo Ann

[Fauxnaif 1]

I actually enjoy food much more now that overeating is more difficult. I have more freedom and am getting more into some really good food as opposed to junk food. When you eat small amounts, you can still lose.

[adreinke 0]

I just wanted to say thank you for all of your advice! My wife is doing fine and also posts on these boards. I'm not going to give her name out as I don't think she knows I read these. I am not doing it to go behind her back or anything, I just like knowing what she might be going through and what I can do to help. Some day soon I'm sure she will see this board and my cover will be blown as I'm not very origanal with my screen name. She is doing great and I am proud of her. I think that some times I am a little over protective with what she wants to put in the blender and try to turn into liquid! I know that this gets her a little upset with me but I would rather have her a little mad at me then mad at herself because something went wrong with her band. She has not returned to work yet but will be in a few days. Well I better stop talking about her just incase she does find my thread sooner then later and is mad I talked so much about her. I love you honey when you see this I only started it for my own knowlege not to hurt you. Thank you all for your advice and I will continue to check back from time to time for any more advice you may have for me! Thank you all again!