Marriage Issues Already!?

[wdrake_98 22]

W_Drake - how did surgery go? Hope all is well and you are recovering comfortably.

It went well. I have a thread about it in the share your stories section.

[amaggie 8]

They need a support group for our spouses. We have the support of one another on here and our drs. But they don't have anyone.

[Fitjen 17]

I was diagnosed as BRCA (+) exactly one year ago. Before I could schedule my double mastectomies they recommended bariatric surgery to reduce estrogen stored in my fat and to reduce complications.

2 months later my husband of 18 years left. He said that if I went through with the bariatric surgery he'd lose all respect for me. Needless to say I've come to realize he was dealing with insecurities of his own and was threatened by this surgery. We have talked extensively about it since our divorce and he has said that everything about me will be different.

While I'll look different on the outside I'm still me. Men can be so stupid sometimes. Unfortunately in this situation by the time he figures it out it'll be too late. I can't imagine ever going back to someone who bailed the moment I was faced with this challenge.

Although it has made realize that I am stronger than I ever knew. I can do this!

So can you. This too shall pass. It's just a bump in the road of life. He'll come around.

[wdrake_98 22]

I was diagnosed as BRCA (+) exactly one year ago. Before I could schedule my double mastectomies they recommended bariatric surgery to reduce estrogen stored in my fat and to reduce complications.

2 months later my husband of 18 years left. He said that if I went through with the bariatric surgery he'd lose all respect for me. Needless to say I've come to realize he was dealing with insecurities of his own and was threatened by this surgery. We have talked extensively about it since our divorce and he has said that everything about me will be different.

While I'll look different on the outside I'm still me. Men can be so stupid sometimes. Unfortunately in this situation by the time he figures it out it'll be too late. I can't imagine ever going back to someone who bailed the moment I was faced with this challenge.

Although it has made realize that I am stronger than I ever knew. I can do this!

So can you. This too shall pass. It's just a bump in the road of life. He'll come around.

On my goodness Fitjen, you have great strength. What a coward to leave you at this time in your life! Guess he forgot the vow, "in sickness".

Prayers for you as your recover!

[Earwood 136]

I was diagnosed as BRCA (+) exactly one year ago. Before I could schedule my double mastectomies they recommended bariatric surgery to reduce estrogen stored in my fat and to reduce complications.

2 months later my husband of 18 years left. He said that if I went through with the bariatric surgery he'd lose all respect for me. Needless to say I've come to realize he was dealing with insecurities of his own and was threatened by this surgery. We have talked extensively about it since our divorce and he has said that everything about me will be different.

While I'll look different on the outside I'm still me. Men can be so stupid sometimes. Unfortunately in this situation by the time he figures it out it'll be too late. I can't imagine ever going back to someone who bailed the moment I was faced with this challenge.

Although it has made realize that I am stronger than I ever knew. I can do this!

So can you. This too shall pass. It's just a bump in the road of life. He'll come around.

Fitjen - just wanted to tell you how much I admire your strength and courage to deal with all of that, all at once. You are an amazing woman! Thank you for sharing with us.

[ibehere10 163]

I am so sorry that some of you are going through this. I expected my honey to start to sabotage but he did not and has not as of yet. He seems thrilled with my progress and supports me in every way. I wish all of you had this support.

[Jakat 25]

Well reading this I have to tell you it's not only the husband's that freak out, my wife is really having a tough time..."you took the easy way out"..."you are going to leave when you get skinny"....WOW never expected that one.

[gail_juarez 32]

I have the same problem but its with my daughters because you see I am a widow. I lost my husband in 2008 to cancer and have been alone since then. Now that I have decided to lose weight they think I am doing it to find a new man. Its not all them, I found myself attracted to an old boyfriend online and they had a fit. They think I should not have any other person in my life, that I should wait until I pass away to be with my husband once again. I really just want to be healthy and live longer. I have been over weight for too many years, I am type 2 diabetic and have to take high blood pressure medicine. High cholesteral pills etc. This decision to have WLS is for ME no other reason. I have assured them of this and for now they are going along with me but I see and hear the suspicion they are feeling. I will just have to wait and gain their trust once again. Because I am going through with this!