Here's A Thought, Shut Up!

[VSGJean 68]

I had my surgery in Mexico on September 21. My husband didn't tell his parents until after I left for Mexico. My husband didn't tell them not to tell EVERYONE and there MOTHER!!! So I'm a little perturbed by that..

I told my sister (which I KNEW I shouldn't have) so today I get a call from my aunt asking me 50 million questions. When she talks to me, it's like I'm STOOPID. Granted she is a nurse, married to an ER doctor, but d@mn, I can read and research too!!

Why can't people keep their mouths SHUT??!?! Sorry for the ranting and raving....

[MsVeDub 32]

My reply now would be: It's a moot point...surgery is done, so lets now ruin a good relationship. I love you and respect you, please respect my decision and support this journey."

Good luck!

[jenjen82 25]

dang jean that sux...people need to mind their own damn business....its not them that went under the knife so where do they get off with their judgements and opinions..you have your reasons for doing this and you shouldn't have to explain them to anyone unless you want to. people really get under my skin when they act like that ...i would still like us to get together and their is another lady , linda, that is wanting to start a group i think. sun-tues ill be gone for doing pre-op and visiting with a friend in baton rouge , then my surgery is 11-8 so not sure if we can get together before that but we can try ..if not we can after i get to feeling better...i have so many questions tho but i understand if we cant get together before then. good luck with everything and remember you have all the people on here and your hubby that understand and agree with your decision..in the end all i cared about was having my hubby and mom by my side...

[abetterme4.2 268]

My response to the family is simple: "are you asking because you truly care about ME, or because you're curious/nosey?"

Haters are goin to hate. Plain and simple. And the very real truth to this is...it usually has something to do with themselves.

If the question continues of "why didn't you tell ME?" simple. "I wanted to avoid all of the questions and judgement."

Whew. Were we talking about yours or my family? Lol.

Hang in there.

[aroundhky 1,174]

People love to spring news on others and gossip. Silly people! You know you did what was best for you, so just go with that...haters are just going to be haters.

[AStephenson 159]

I went for three whole months without telling anyone but my hubby and children with explicit instructions NOT to make the fact that I was considering weight loss surgery common news. It was hard though, everytime you meet up with someone they all ask, "so what's new with you?" so I found myself weighing in my mind to tell or not to tell. Now that my surgery appt is made, I find myself wanting to let more people know, not sure why, but yes, people do talk..and everyone has that ONE particular person in their family that seems to know more about YOUR business than you do! UGH!

[iegal 460]

Since they have medical background, they feel they should impart there wisdom to you...after the fact.

Ms. VeeDub gave great advice. Hugs across this site.

Congrats on being sleeved...know you will be thrilled!

[CowgirlJane 14,260]

I told alot of people, but pretty much AFTER the sleeve was done and I explicitly told people that I welcome their support, but since the decision was done, any doubts/disagreements please keep to yourself. I did that in a letter/email to my family. Vast majority wrote me supportive replies or called and then there was a noticable silence from some family members - oh well, they are entitled to their opinions just like I am entitled to not have to hear them.

People gossip no matter what you do and i am sure people yapped about how fat i was too..

[Mich grand 35]

I had my surgery in Mexico on September 21. My husband didn't tell his parents until after I left for Mexico. My husband didn't tell them not to tell EVERYONE and there MOTHER!!! So I'm a little perturbed by that..

I told my sister (which I KNEW I shouldn't have) so today I get a call from my aunt asking me 50 million questions. When she talks to me' date=' it's like I'm STOOPID. Granted she is a nurse, married to an ER doctor, but d@mn, I can read and research too!!

Why can't people keep their mouths SHUT??!?! Sorry for the ranting and raving....[/quote']

Exactly why I haven't told anyone. I have done much soul searching and have made up my own mind, for my own reasons and TGAT IS THAT! Thank and "if you (anyone) doesn't like it too damn bad!"""

[Mich grand 35]

I told alot of people' date=' but pretty much AFTER the sleeve was done and I explicitly told people that I welcome their support, but since the decision was done, any doubts/disagreements please keep to yourself. I did that in a letter/email to my family. Vast majority wrote me supportive replies or called and then there was a noticable silence from some family members - oh well, they are entitled to their opinions just like I am entitled to not have to hear them. <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />

People gossip no matter what you do and i am sure people yapped about how fat i was too..[/quote']

People gossip no matter what you do and i am sure people yapped about how fat i was too..

I love this---people tapped about how fat I was too!!! YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD. MIND IF I USE THIS???

[CowgirlJane 14,260]

Sure!

My meaning is this - many morbidly obese people try to not be noticed. The dark clothes, the standing in the back in photos.. yadda yadda. Who are we kidding? Everybody sees us. We wear this obesity issue out there for everyone to see. Loved ones worry about our health. Mean people are just mean, and the insecure ones are afraid it will happen to them and are just grateful there is someone fatter then they are. Even if their motivation isn't "bad" people talk about the very overweight people and we are kidding ourselves if we think nobody notices.

Having said all that, I totally respect people's desires to keep it private. I did that when I was banded, it actually didn't work out (ie my trusted sister blabbed to people I hardly knew and I overheard it - it was very negative and hurt my feelings a lot) so this time I just said, what the heck. Everybody that cares about me will root for me and the heck with the rest of em.

What is interesting almost a year out and people seem to have forgotten how fat I was. I shocked the heck out of my son showing him a "before" picture - hardly recognizable to either of us. My brother asked me how I had lost so much weight and I had to remind him I had WLS. Funny people.