Holy Moly!

[steelergirl 135]

Sometimes I forget that this is real..and I'm really going to he that person I always wanted to be. Sad part is I can't even imagine being thin. I can only imagine being thinner..I have no idea what this will be like. I have been over weight my whole life..always bigger than my freinds..and I never let it bother me. I made it a point to always be confident with me. I'm an awesome person and I would say I have never felt judged by anyone. I don't know if that is just my defenses. But I always thought of myself as pretty authentic person. Geez..its just so crazy to think..that I don't have to be over weight. I always settled and still even today 17 days away from surgery cannot imagine myself at below 190 pounds. All these years I have been settling. WOW! I am on my 4th day of protien diet. I lost 8 pounds and I started at 334 now am 326. Huge numbers. But like I said I was in denial. Im awake now. I'm a little scared and nervous. I have never had any kind of surgery before. I have had a c section. I don't know how this compares. I have a 10 year old little girl..and I love her so much. I want to be able to go run around with her outside and play..go to a Water park. I want to still have energy after work to take care of my family. I know I'm not the girl I see in the pictures..I have been working on my masters degree for 6 years..and focused everything I had on my career and let myself get way out of control. I never thought I get this big but I didn't pay attention. Now I'm almost done with school..my career is taking off...I can work on me ..in this area of my life..I'm so exited. My surgery day is November 7th. Anyone that had seriuos fears..I'd like to hear how you overcame them and how your surgery went. ..comments on liver shrinking..leak tests..pain levels..or hunger pains and cravings after input is needed. I'd like to share my whole experience from beginning to end to help someone. I see people that don't follow up. I love before and after pictures..they are sooo motivational..I like this site because I keep learning from all of you ..hopefully I can help the next person too!

[chunkychick 54]

Exciting, scary, hopeful and doubtful, and overwhelming all at once. I know the feeling and _{you may not know what to expect or how to feel but I know the taste of victory this will bring is far better than you can imagine or hope for. Good luck on your journey.}