Started Dating Someone....

[elisa 33]

I met someone online in July before my surgery. We talked a lot but didn't meet until September. I really didnt think I would meet him because he was out of my league and I have self esteem issues. He knew I had a surgery. I told him I was having a hiatal hernia repair... Which I did... But didn't tell him about the sleeve.

So I finally agreed to meet him and we've been together for almost a month. He's noticing my eating habits and is becoming very upset with

Me that I don't eat enough. I told him I eat until I'm full ( 3-4 bites of good protein)and eat 4-5 small meals a day. I know the right thing to do is tell him the truth but I'm scared.

[Delena2/11 59]

Elisa, First how exciting that you have a new relationship. You have made some very positive and difficult decisions that will allow you to have a healthier life. I think that if you are serious about this guy you need to tell him the truth. He needs to understand the reasons that you eat so differently. If he does understand the ins and outs of the surgery he will not be pressuring you to eat more. He will be there to support and Celebrate your victories. Give him a chance. You might be pleasantly surprised!

[AngelEyesInNJ 187]

Hello, it is obvious that he cares about you since he shows his concern in regards to your "eating habits". I would just be honest with him, I can't see someone getting upset about it. It is did not change who "you" are.

You chose this to make your life better and yourself healthier so to me it would be no different then you telling him you were working out like 7 days a week 3 hours a day - ya know what I mean?

I wish the best of luck to you!

[deekaspor 89]

Tell the truth and the longer you wait the harder it will be.

[elisa 33]

Thank you !!! I will tell the truth. It will make me feel much better.

I guess I was concerned bc he's a body builder and felt like he would judge me. And if he does judge me... He's not meant for me.

Thank you again!!!

[kmwheel 127]

Thank you !!! I will tell the truth. It will make me feel much better.

I guess I was concerned bc he's a body builder and felt like he would judge me. And if he does judge me... He's not meant for me.

Thank you again!!!

You are so right about that. If he's really meant to be with you, he's going to love all of you. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised by his reaction. Everyone I've told so far has been really supportive and happy for me. If he isn't, there are more fish in the sea. But I'm going to say one thing to you...nobody is "out of your league". That's silly, self-defeating talk. Everyone wants to love and be loved by someone who "gets" them. If they don't get you...it's not your fault or theirs, but there are no leagues. I have been married 17 years and with this same man for 22. I'm sure there are some who'd say he's out of my league and vice-versa. But we get each other, we have the same sense of humor...he's in the military and very fit, I'm the least athletic and graceful person in the world. It's about feeling loved, feeling safe, feeling supported...

[BigBootyQT 78]

Tell him. I was in same situation, met a guy and I adore him we've become the best of friends. He treats me like a queen but is constantly feeding me, but he eats a lot. I knew I was going to have surgery and didn't know how to tell him or if I should. He is very athletic didn't think he would understand or still like me if I'm smaller...lol...I know crazy. But I told him and he's been wonderful. He had his mom make a special meal for me for my last meal and made such a fuss about it being perfect! He hasn't told anyone and has been there for me on Tuesday when I had surgery and checks on me daily. He says he will work out with me, whatever makes me happy! Long story short I'm soo glad I told him!!

[Tinka504 46]

Just curious...did you tell him and..how things are working out??

I'm being all kinds of nosey cause I am apparently in the same boat and wondering the same thing...?

[elisa 33]

I never told him and glad I didn't. He was very superficial and it only lasted 2 months.

I know people say you should tell the truth but I want to trust the person I'm with. It's a very personal thing to discuss with someone when you first meet.

[LizTex2587 212]

I never told him and glad I didn't. He was very superficial and it only lasted 2 months.

I know people say you should tell the truth but I want to trust the person I'm with. It's a very personal thing to discuss with someone when you first meet.

All things happen for a reason. Just look on this as a learning experience! You will be better prepared and have a game plan next time.

[bitpoh 3]

I never told him and glad I didn't. He was very superficial and it only lasted 2 months.

I know people say you should tell the truth but I want to trust the person I'm with. It's a very personal thing to discuss with someone when you first meet.

I applaud your decision to wait to tell him. Telling is the right thing AFTER a certain point of intimacy is reached.

[elisa 33]

Thank you bitpou! And totally agree with you