I Had A Breakdown At Work Today

[sramos89 260]

I know how this feels. I have felt this way most of my life. You are more than your weight, think of your accomplishments and relationships. I have a friend who is very overweight and when I see her all I see is her loving heart, I never once see her weight because she is such a wonderful person. I promise you are being harder on yourself than others are. Please try and keep your chin up, your weight will come off but it won't be over night and it will be a long journey if you are hating yourself the entire time. I was sleeved almost 6 weeks ago and one thing that has boosted my self esteem is that I can walk away from food, where in the past I felt I had no control over myself around food and that made me feel awful about myself. Regardless of my weight loss the fact that I can leave food on my plate because I am full is a powerful feeling. I could never do that before the sleeve, if food tasted good, I would stuff myself. That made me feel awful. Good Luck on your surgery and keep your head up!

[sramos89 260]

One more thing! You know you best, lots of people on the forum like to push people to get "professional help" and that works for some people, I get offended when people push that crap on me. It is perfecly NORMAL for overweight people to not want to be in pictures, not like our bodies, etc... It is not "okay" to be overweight in our society and we feel guilty and wrong for these bodies we have. Once the weight comes off we feel better, physically and emotionally. If you have other issues and need to speak to a counselor that is great but sometimes people gain weight because they eat too much food and are not active enough. The sleeve and the bariatric doctor will help you. Sometimes it is just that simple!

[kyllfalcon 768]

Not trying to be contrary here, just offering another point of view. That's what this forum is for.

All the while that I was so overweight, I did and accomplished many things, both in my personal and professional life. I realized my worth. However, I hated being fat and I hated the way I looked, and I really couldn't stand to see my photo or engage in activities that might emphasize my size or limitations due to my size. I avoided both at all costs.

I don't think I needed counseling then or now, I just needed to get the weight off. Now I am thrilled to be in photos, and love the way I look, even with the skin issues most of us face.

The original poster's head might not need fixing. Just that layer of fat might need fixing.

Honey, I totally get where you are and what you're feeling. I can't wait for you to get where I am and feel how I feel. Hold your pretty head up, it won't be long before you'll be dashing in front of cameras!!

[Jessica9190 127]

I think I am just ready to lose weight and keep it off. When I have lost in the past I have felt better. It's just temporary because I gain it back. I am an "emotional" eater but I'm also a "the food is good "eater and " its the social thing to do" eater. I'm overweight because I've eat too much and too much bad stuff

I just feel it has taken over my life. My grandmother was in the hospital last week with her heart and kidneys. I wasn't really close to that side of the family. Sadly she did die but I know she is in a better place now and she was ready. My point is I was so worried she was going to die because then I'd have to go to the funeral and see all the family I haven't seen in years and I'm so fat. I didn't want to be around everyone. That side is skinny. I get the obesity from my moms side. Then I felt super guilty for worrying about myself instead of my dad who just lost his mother.

My mom keeps trying to get me to go to a wedding of some family friends and I won't go to that for the same reasons

I just feel like there is so much I would do and enjoy if I wasn't fat.

[doxieville 799]

I just want to say something about counseling w/o being contrary, so please...no mean replies. :-)

I never was a fan of counseling for me, but it was mandatory for my insurance. I had to go three times. She was a WLS therapist and was great. She didn't delve into my physce or try to force the reasons why I am fat. What she did do was give me wonderful tools to help deal with the ups and downs of the surgery and beyond. When I suggest counseling to someone on here, that's what I am suggesting. Getting the tools to help, not to figure out why the bully in kindergarden is still making someone overeat as an adult, unless that's what they want to figure out.

I DO think that the OP could benefit from a qualified WLS therapist by giving her better managing tools. But, it's ultimately what works for her.

[Tealover 46]

I can't help but feel people are missing the point. It's fine to not want to have your photo taken or not engage in activities because of your weight and I don't think anyone likes being overweight but having a breakdown at work is a sign of other problems to me.

[Jessica9190 127]

but having a breakdown at work is a sign of other problems to me.

I really think my problems stem from my weight. I don't have any "under lying issues." I'm fatter than I want to be, fatter than everyone else in the picture and that bothers me to the point I cried for a while.

Maybe I used the wrong word when I said breakdown. I didn't actually fall out in the floor and ball my eyes out but I did cry at work because I was confronted head on with something that really bothers me-my weight and how others see me because of it. I don't usually cry at work or get so upset but today it hit me hard so I said breakdown.

I think I am insecure and have low self esteem because I feel unhappy with the way I look and the way I feel others see me.

I don't think I need to see a therapist about any deep rooted issues but a WLS therapist that has insight on dealing with obesity and having the surgery and all that comes with it is probably not a bad idea.

Thank you everyone for all your support and encouragement. I come to this forum when I want to "feel better" about myself.

[doxieville 799]

I'll admit, pre-op my emotions were ALL over the place. This really IS a big deal. It's going to change your life. It's ok to 'breakdown'. I think the picture taking incident was just a trigger.

Call your WLS surgeon and see who he recommends as a WLS therapist. Don't just go to any therapist, or you'll get the whole nine yards...unless you want the whole nine yards. Which is ok. :-)

I will tell you, I've been hard pressed to find a pre-surgery pic of myself and i regret it. A family friend finally had one- it's the one I put in my profile page. I saw it and cringed, even post-surgery. :-)

[Jessica9190 127]

Thanks doxie

I'll call and ask and no, I don't want the whole nine yards.

[Tealover 46]

Lots of luck with your journey whatever you do. This isn't easy for anyone xx

[Jessica9190 127]

Lots of luck with your journey whatever you do. This isn't easy for anyone xx

Thank you for your support.

[Piplula 709]

I completely understand where you are coming from. I personally have ruined more photo ops for family, friends, newspaper articles, ect ect ect ....because I detested the way I looked in pictures. I was even threatened to be fired if I didn't take my picture with my coworkers for a gentlemen that was retiring from a government position I had no contact with. Let's just say my go to hell look said it all and it's in print forever! And all of these feelings about my picture being taken occurred even before I was considered obese. So yes I understand. It is an anxiety inducing ordeal. In fact, I don't have family portraits for this reason. I have them of my hubby and daughter...but I am clearly, irrevocably absent. Now that I have had my sleeve, I am finding the camera is a little friendlier. Do I enjoy my picture being taken now? Nope..that probably won't ever change. But do I hide or pretend I am having intractable diarrhea to get out of a photo op?? No...I stand up and smile because I know either way...it's going to happen. Will I get some family portraits ...I am reconsidering it. Either way, once you lose weight..the camera isn't as bad as it seems.

[amytug 996]

I just want to say that I totally feel you. I had a breadown just today, in front of dh. And I'm the type that puts up walls and tries not to let my weaker side show. My weight affects EVERY aspect of my life. I'm all around grumpier when I'm 233 lbs at 5'4" tall, and I know for a fact it's related to my weight and also to my "sugar usage." When I know I'm doing what's right, eating healthy, and taking care of myself, my self esteem is much much higher. So while I'll still have "issues," I'll love me more. And I think you will too.

[LizTex2587 212]

I don't think there is anything wrong with your head Human nature is just as multifaceted as humans themselves...People deal with things differently! That doesn't mean there is anything wrong with having these feelings... That being said, i believe that they you will either let them drag you under or let them motivate you to get better and feel better physically and emotionally! I think talking to a professional can be a good thing...Sometimes we just need to be heard by an impartial party, and feel free of judgement or knowing that that person is not going to simply placate you because they love you. You have the all the power to change the things you don't like or that make you feel bad...you just have to tap into it! That's what I think!!!!!

[Jessica9190 127]

Thanks y'all. That's why I keep coming to this forum-for the positive support from everyone. One of my good friends just had a grand baby girl and she brought her to work and wanted to take my picture with her and I relented and took the darn picture lol. What an accomplishment!!!