My Story-How I Got From There To Here

[Saltmistrose 24]

This is a reposting of my mini story as to how I reached the point of deciding to have WLS.

I hope it helps someone out there. Be welll.

Hello there friends!

Well I guess I will take this opportunity to tell a little bit of "my story". Ever since high school I have been overweight. My mom was thin but her side of the family, were large childless women. I suspect there was a bit of POS (polycystic ovary syndrome) in the family, which I have. I lost a lot of weight in my early 20ties on the Scarsdale diet. I recall being about 5'6" and weighing about 138 lbs. My family thought I was fat. In a few years the weight came back and more. From there on out it was impossible to loose weight. After years of struggles I finally just stopped talking about my weight and somewhere along the way gave up any hope that I could do anything to change my weight "ever" again. I took on feeling the blame for not being disciplined and/or strong enough to "help" myself back to a healthy weight. I worked like a fiend (3 jobs). I worked full time through university and grad school. I bought a house I traveled. I gave up hope of finding a partner. I settled into life as I believed I was to know it for years. I was busy with my "career" which was as a social worker for the Baltimore VA Medical Center. I thought I was on track for the rest of my working life and had my house in Baltimore to hide in, with the new car in front of that house.

Then life took a wicked twist. I was involved in a accident at work and I developed Fibromyalgia. I also developed sleep apnea and had a major clinical depressive episode. I also experienced my 1st panic attacks. After seeking treatment for my Fibromyalgia pain, I went onto an internet chat web site to try to find out more about how I was being treated for my medical and mental health problems. I happened up the web site where I met my current partner. Long story short, I retired early due to the problems that were plaguing me and a change in the management of my job. My partner is a "kiwi" (from New Zealand). They had a job in NZ I did not. They had children in NZ, I did not have children (just aging parents and miserable siblings). I moved to New Zealand about 6 years ago.

I worked for a short while in NZ, but eventually was unable to continue to work here. I became financially dependent for the first time in my adult life. I became more depressed and gained more weight of course. My mom had been diagnosed with Alzhiemers disease and a couple of years ago, she became more ill and died in January of 2010, at the age of 88. She was being cared for by my dad at home and I traveled home 2 times that year to care for her and to get her set up in hospice care. Upon returning from her memorial in Spring of 2010, I became very ill. I was airlifted off the island where I live (Waiheke Island) and ended up having surgery for a golf ball size gallstone and the removal of my gallbladder. Upon coming out of recovery after surgery, I sneezed. I felt something pop in my stomach. The medical team said I was wrong about my belief that I had popped my sutures.

In December 2011, I was sitting on the toilet and saw the 1st appearance of a ventral, post surgical, hernia. Here begins my "back door" decision making process to have WLS. After reading extensively about hernia repair surgery, I realized there was very little hope that a hernia repair would be successful with me at my weight of 311 lbs. It was then thought about WLS for the 1st time. I did not have diabetes "yet" or high blood pressure "yet". Both sides of my family have diabetes and it was just a matter of time before I developed it, I believed. I set up an appointment with a surgeon here and discussed my thoughts about the WLS that was needed to help me successfully repair my now "growing" hernia.

During my initial meeting with the surgeon, I discovered how emotionally sensitive and depressed I really was about my weight. My life quality wasn't really so good and I was very depressed. I was felt so disempowered. I also felt very guilty and totally to blame for my "fat" and "fatty life style". Somewhere along in this meeting, I began to change how I felt about myself and my weight. I was referred to the "public" system for weight loss surgery. The public system here gives free care to qualifying patients here in New Zealand. Well here is where the 1st age related "warning bell" goes off in my story. I was advised by the hospital that I could not be entered on the WLS waiting list, because I was over the age of 50. Public surgery was restricted to people under the age of 50 because they were believed to be the age group that held the most hope for health improvements from this expensive medical procedure. Health care is rationed here under the public scheme.

Fortunately, I retained my private health insurance when I retired from U.S. federal system. I had Federal Retiree Blue Cross/Blue Shield (Overseas) coverage. The same surgeon from the public system was now to be my surgeon under my private medical insurance coverage. I met with him several times along with his staff. He also was to be the surgeon that would do the hernia repair surgery for me.

After being evaluated by the surgeon, his dietician, and his psychologist, I was advised that I would have to do several things to get the surgeon to consent to do my surgery. I was pissed that after I had finally made "my decision" to have WLS, someone was going to deny me the surgery, because they didn't think I was "fit" enough for the procedure. No ego here, I might suggest. Anyway, I had to go in the pre-surgery diet, get my wake/sleep cycle in order, get an exercise plan in place, get my depression in a better state, get ongoing mental health support in place, and come back to the surgeon's dietician in 5 weeks for another meeting and evaluation. I did this and I lost about 25 lbs., had a daily sleeping/waking schedule, changed my anti-depressant medications, and got a mental health worker/social worker to meet with me on and ongoing basis. The surgeon then met with me again and consented to do both surgeries.

The decision was made to do the hernia repair surgery 1st (not simultaneously, as the "great I" had wanted). However, I was returning to the U.S. for a 2 month stay in June of 2012. This being said, I was to return to NZ and have the hernia repaired as soon as possible (under the "public" system). I was to be put on the waiting list for the surgery and my priority adjusted, if my need for the surgery became more urgent along the way. During my stay in the U.S. the hernia grew and painfully pitched me endlessly. The day after I got back to NZ, I had an appointment in the surgeon's clinic at the hospital. After much "hemming and hawing" I had my hernia repaired on Sept. 28th, 2012. It was done laprascopicly. I woke up with 11 incisions and an 8" X 8" piece of mesh having been stitched into me. I felt the pain rip through me, when I tried to walk to the toilet. I felt like I was being napalmed. I felt like I was on fire. Thank God the worst of this was over in about 3 days. I was in hospital for about 7 days. Today is 3 weeks since the surgery and I am almost pain free. I have an appointment with my surgeon on Oct. 30th. I am expecting that I will be having my gastric sleeve done in the private hospital sometime mid November to mid December.

When I 1st posted on this forum, I had just been looking on various sites looking at other WLS cases. More specifically, I was looking post operative WLS cases that were having body sculpting surgeries to deal with their various "skin flaps". I couldn't find any cases of people that looked like me, or who were around my age. I noted that "most" of these people were younger than me. It then dawned on me that maybe I had ignored an important factor in making my decision to have the WLS.

I guess the facts are the ideas about my health concerns and my desire to change my life in a positive way, are the basis for making this choice to have WLS. I think I still believe that I have made the best decision for my case and my situation(s). I also believe that using the available technology and support I have found online, is a vital part of my support plan and network.

Thanks to all for listening and please excuse my typos and English errors. Be well all and stay strong on the journey.

Karen

[Fiesta728834 11]

Hi I am 47 next month and have been overweight for most of my adult life and I currently work for social work in Scotland. I hope you are recovering weel from your hernia operation.

I feel it is good for your mental health to get your feelings and story out and talk to people from all walks of life who have a story to tell too and you are not on your own.

I will hopefully find out my date at an appointment on 25 October and wish you well in your weight loss journey. We are all getting this surgery done for a reason and most of these reasons are the same that we have tried and tried and cannot do this ourselves.

I too had a stomach hernia operation two years ago as the surgeon who put in my band damaged my stomach muscle so now have a 6 inch scar across my belly. Remember it was terrible at first as if my insides would pour out however it got better after 6 weeks recovery.

Please keep in touch and speak to me or the site as it is always good to speak to people in the same situation.

Elizabeth :-))