Not Telling Anyone

[PetraLuxor 83]

As having surgery is such an incredibly personal decision, I have decided not to tell anyone. I'm single and have no children so its fairly easy for me to let friends and family think I'm just going on a little Mexican vacation. Is there anyone else here who has chosen not to share this with anyone?

[chad2rad 491]

I kept it quiet for a long time, except for my immediate family. Thats what i needed at the time.

Then this past 6 weeks or so I started telling everyone at work... It became part of my self care even before surgery this week. I got almost all positive comments. It released some uncomfortable self talk I was holding on to.

Best to u on this journey

[wdrake_98 22]

For my band I didn't tell anyone but a hand full of people. Very private. No one at work even knew.

I started being open about having the band about 2 years later.

Now, most know.

But, my surgery to get it removed and replace with the sleeve is back private.

Not even my manager knows, and he's had the sleeve and is one of the reasons I'm going to get it.

Only my husband and a dear friend know. Just 2.

[desertmom 297]

My only issue with this is that people who dont know constantly talks about how little I am eating,especially now that I have lost so much.Telling me how unbalanced it is,just like eating too much.I now silence them by telling them about the surgery....they mostly just dont know what to say and frankly I have found that after they've been told they frankly just dont care about it anyway,unless they are very overweight themselves.That makes for some uncomfortable discussion on weight loss again.

Sometimes feel damned if you do and damned if you dont...but I wont lie if someone asks me about it.

You choice!

[ma46 33]

If your going to Mexico I would recommend at least telling one person for your safety. In case you had a complication and needed support. It would be nice to have one person who could check in on you for TLC. Good luck

[Earwood 136]

I tried to keep it as private as possible prior to my surgery although many found out thru the grapevine so be careful who you tell...I could care less what ppl think of my surgery but I didn't want to hear the 'omg your having surgery in a foreign country where you can't even drink the Water you're going to die' comments...all made by people who haven't researched this for one second of course after I'd been researching for months. Now I'm past it I'll wait till I'm at goal & when ppl inevitably ask 'how did you lose the weight ?' I will tell them all about it. Personal choice though I completely understand why you don't want to tell anyone.

[Pookeyism 1,143]

Do you mean not tell anyone, not a soul? Very bad idea if you are EVER traveling to do things that no one knows how to reach you, or where to look if you do not come home. I have dealt with international issues on more than one occasion.

You need to have everything in order if you are telling no one - and I dont mean to be a bummer but I mean everything from your will to directive to beneficiaries, righ down to small things like Water your plants.

I know it sounds extreme but I took the extra step - even though I had plenty of support and had my surgery on Houston, where I live...I would come to need some of those plans and a few of those people who had been asked and also made plans in their schedules to be available enough to be able to help me if needed - a week later when my Mom passed away and I had to fly home unexpectedly and was home for 2 weeks, then on top of that the stress and grief and travel took a toll and I really, truly, truly needed that support.

[ArtSong 291]

Lmao I tell everyone when I go out people I know perfect strangers it don't bother me at all.

[hollirrose 249]

I only told very close family at first. I was a little ashamed about it and also worried that I would fail. After I got back from surgery I had to let my lunch group in on it. It was kinda obvious with my 1 - 2 oz "meals" that something was diffrent. Then after losing the first 70 lbs there isnt anyone who didnt ask or compliment me on my loss and ask about it. I work in an office with about 100 other people. If you think people wont ask...trust me they will. Have your answer ready and stick with it. I still dont tell anyone who doesnt ask me directly but I have lost the fear of failure. I think this is a tough decision and I wish you the best of luck with it!

[Threetimesacharm 1,400]

I went to Mexico by myself and did not tell a single soul. I still have not told anyone about my surgery and I don't think that I ever will. It really is none of anyones business how little I eat or how MUCH they eat!!

[PdxMan 4,292]

I think the OP said they are just going to tell friends and family she is going on a little Mexican vacation.

Sounds good to me. I had mine in Vegas and told friends the same thing. Heading to Vegas, baby! Do a little gambling, lay at the pool ... I just didn't tell the what I left there. Actually, I made $ on the casino tables but lost stomach tissue on the operating table. Fair trade for me and it WAS a nice little Vegas vacation.

Tell who you want whatever you want whenever you want. It is a personal decision.

[altagirl 127]

I went to MX by myself and did not tell anyone - at all. I still have not told anyone and do not plan on doing so. I have yet to have anyone ask me why I eat so little.

As a side note, I went to TJ on a Sunday, returned home on Thursday evening and went back to work on Friday morning. I worked a half day and then went back to work full time on Monday. I had 1 person as me if I was "ok" just because I was moving a little slower than ususal.

Good luck -

[WednesdaysSun 6]

I told my mom, dad, and little brother. Very tight knit supportive family, and I don't even live with them. I'm one of those "tell no one" people. I just felt I owed it to them, seeing that they gave me life with all healthy organs. If anything were to happen, I didn't want them blindsided. That said, I don't think anything's going to happen, I've told no one out side of them, not even my best friend who I tell everything to. I don't plan on sharing any news with anyone. I could not care less about observations of eating too little either. Whatever, I'll just order Soup on certain outings. It's a theory. All that commentary is for the birds lol. If you want to keep it private, do so. There are a lot of very supportive people out there but more than anything, some of us aren't into group discussions about your life choices, foreign country "hack jobs" and so forth. Vacation it is!

[Learningtotwinkle 45]

I have only told my husband, My mom and dad and my cousin and a friend. My mom and cousin will be going with me. I plan to let my husbands family know when I get back and the rest of my family, I have actually started a private blog that I plan to email them all with the link so they can read everything and get a better understanding of why I did it.

[Sherri297 81]

It's a personal decision but I choose to keep no secrets. I'm 51 years old, had a BMI of 39, heart attack 4 yrs. ago, and recently diagnosed with diabetes. For me it was a choice for health, and a more active lifestyle. That's what I have told my whole family, co-workers, and clients. All have been extremely supportive of my decission to have WLS, but some have been somewhat sceptical of traveling to Mexico for it. If I could have afforded to have my surgery in the U.S. I would have, but after you have severe health conditions, private insurance rates and deductibles are out of this world.

I am 5 days post op, doing fairly well, still in Mexico, but going home tomorrow. Looking forward to recovery and being on the losers bench.