At A Bmi Of 20 Now! Unexpected Depression/anxiety

[sirensiren 67]

This year has been the best of my life: last November I was obese, I had VSG with Dr. Kelly and after a few stalls, the weight starting melting off with the help of personal training and watching the content of my food! The love of my life proposed to me, and we got married in what was absolutely my dream wedding. I am more impressed with the man I married every day, and more in love and happy.

I am now at a BMI of 20 and I am actually modeling for fitness oriented shoots (I am on the muscular side now, holy moly!).

The unexpected experience I've felt creep over me in the past couple months: depression, a sense of lack of joy, a sense of something "missing". It's taken me months of feeling like I must be incredibly unappreciative or deeply unhappy with something in my subconcious, until a few days ago a light bulb went off: I am no longer able to use food as a sense of pleasure or accomplishment. It used to be that every meal I ate changed my mood- I would intently look forward to meals throughout the day, plan them in my head, then immediately feel guilty when those meals turned out to be 1000+ calorie indulgences. On the flip side, I would feel a sense of anxious accomplishment when I'd manage to get through a day eating light healthy meals (anxious because I never felt full control of staying on that "diet", and I'd manage to break it every time). I'm sure others can relate.

Now that I realize all this, it is so obvious to me why I was feeling something missing. It has finally set in for me that food is no longer a source of emotional roller coaster feelings of joy, despair, achievement, indulgence..now food is certainly something I may look forward to, but it does not rule my feelings anymore, and I find that after VSG I have a MUCH easier time simply saying "no" to the bad foods. I've also noticed feeling "full" does not have the same physical feeling, and I think this is likely an association for me that keeps that old feeling of indulgence and guilt away. Now getting full actually makes me sweaty, I feel like something is in my throat, and I get a little flustered.it is no longer a relaxing feeling like it once was.

I share this not to show off how fabulous I am with my tiny BMI, or sound like an unappreciative princess. I share this because I feel like others probably have and will go through this feeling of accepting this change in their life. When I read through "cross over addictions" I think some of the root issues are quite related to my experience. I believe my system of self reward is finding balance at this point, it's the best way I can describe it. I think you can go through these feelings at any stage of weight loss, but I certainly think getting to this stable point has actually fueled this sense of loss for me, oddly enough. In a weird way, I feel like my subconscious misses the chaos of that relationship with food! I certainly don't, and I hope others can benefit and relate.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I am not at my goal, but I have recognized this as well. I used to use food as a "ballast" - when I was feeling low, food could help me feel better. If I was wound up, it could calm me down. I still eat, so i am sure there is still some sort of impact, but in general, good no longer plays that kind of role. It is hard to replace a lifetime coping mecanism so I think your post is right on target. I suspect this is ONE of the reasons people can regain in the years post WLS.

[rdoactv 218]

You have made a wonderful accomplishment! I appreciate your post. Im preop, (3/2013 date) and I know I have an emotional relationship w/ food. While I look forward to the "breakup", change is always scary. But I hope to be where u are eventually and to feel a sense of reward and accomplishment in my health, appearance and new abilities. : ) thanks again and Congrats.

[sirensiren 67]

Thank you for the positive feedback! I really think it's important to recognize foods emotional role in our lives- I think food is extremely emotional regardless of what we weight, it's certainly a source of pleasure and comfort for most people. I feel like we anticipate all the good feelings that come with being healthier and better looking, but we forget that we are letting go of a crutch or sense of comfort too- I can no longer over indulge, and I am so grateful for that!

[wanna 3]

I'm only 4 days out but am worried about emotional eating. All my life every family celebration, holday or just casual get together involves mountains of food. I'm hoping that as I lose the satisfaction will keep me honest. Right now I live 2500 miles from them so every meal at home is a banquet when we visit.

[sirensiren 67]

I'm only 4 days out but am worried about emotional eating. All my life every family celebration, holday or just casual get together involves mountains of food. I'm hoping that as I lose the satisfaction will keep me honest. Right now I live 2500 miles from them so every meal at home is a banquet when we visit.

It's a challenge, but it's amazing to me how much easier these events are now. Given that you will feel full after such a small amount, you simply adjust your portions accordingly. To me, I do not really think about it unless it's pointed out to me how little I eat, and I find that at lengthy meals, I usually have a bit more room to have one bite of dessert later or try a bite of this or that. In feeling like "food is no longer an issue", I've realized that indeed my past relationship with food does plague my subconscious, and that I no longer have that outlet.

You may also find with VSG that you do not have the same desire for sugar. Even when I have room, typically one or two bites of something ultra sweet is all I really want, this could likely be from the fact that the ghrelin producing portion of you stomach is mostly removed. The concept of making an entire "meal" out of cake, ice cream, or something truly sweet is unappealing now. I certainly can only speak for myself on that though, but I have friends with similar experiences.