Husband Not Supportive

[Nicolanz 1,484]

Less than four weeks from surgery and my husband makes a snide remark about me spending so much money on an unnecessary surgery. I'm sick......the one person I need support from won't give it to me. He's tall and skinny and will never understand. If I even try to explain I can feel him judging me. Thinking I'm lazy with no self control. He doesn't know that my weight is the source of everything I can't do. It's on my mind 24/7 and has been since my earliest memory. I have been overweight all of my life. I have NEVER felt good about myself. I want to be normal. I want it so bad it hurts. He just doesn't care. I'm going through with it anyway....and I refuse to let him make me feel guilty about it. Right now I am choosing me.

[LibbyLou 59]

Good for you. Please do this for you. Unfortunately some people do not have compassion for others and cannot understand what it is like to be overweight. I too, have been overweight my entire life. It has been a factor in everything I have ever done since I was about 6 years old... I am ecstatic with a 33 lb loss and anxious for more to leave!

Come here for support. WE get ya'

[It's all new 453]

Less than four weeks from surgery and my husband makes a snide remark about me spending so much money on an unnecessary surgery. I'm sick......the one person I need support from won't give it to me. He's tall and skinny and will never understand. If I even try to explain I can feel him judging me. Thinking I'm lazy with no self control. He doesn't know that my weight is the source of everything I can't do. It's on my mind 24/7 and has been since my earliest memory. I have been overweight all of my life. I have NEVER felt good about myself. I want to be normal. I want it so bad it hurts. He just doesn't care. I'm going through with it anyway....and I refuse to let him make me feel guilty about it. Right now I am choosing me.

You do you - prioritize your health and wellness. Being judged is not healthy for you. Once you are on the other side maybe he will understand... and maybe he won't. It is always possible that as you transform he will too. I wish you the best as you prepare for surgery and start thinking about the preop diet.

[caldrich001 11]

I'm glad to hear you are doing this for YOU! There is no one more important. I too have been overweight forrrrr-everrrrrr! We've made the huge decision to stop the insanity of dieting and truly make a change. You should be so proud of the decision you've made and relish every pound that exits your body...permanently!

Stay the course with your plan. This is stressfull for all couples. Whether it's money, or fear of the lifestyle change or even jealousy, it's a big change for everyone.

Hang in there! We're all here for you!

[Nicolanz 1,484]

Thanks everyone! It's hard for me to even look at him right now!

[DebInAZ 76]

Less than four weeks from surgery and my husband makes a snide remark about me spending so much money on an unnecessary surgery. I'm sick......the one person I need support from won't give it to me. He's tall and skinny and will never understand. If I even try to explain I can feel him judging me. Thinking I'm lazy with no self control. He doesn't know that my weight is the source of everything I can't do. It's on my mind 24/7 and has been since my earliest memory. I have been overweight all of my life. I have NEVER felt good about myself. I want to be normal. I want it so bad it hurts. He just doesn't care. I'm going through with it anyway....and I refuse to let him make me feel guilty about it. Right now I am choosing me.

I guess he doesn't feel your quality of life is necessary . This makes me soooo sad, as he is suppose to be your best friend...follow your heart, do this for you PLEASE!!! we are all here for you.

Just one of your friends,

Debbie

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

He is a big BOOB! He doesn't understand what you going through! I am so happy your doing this for you! Today I found out my husband's cousin is going to get sleeved! So awesome. This is the best decision I have made for myself.

[Lissa 2,631]

My husband was unsupportive before surgery to the point that he told me to eat less and exercise more. Now that I've lost over 120 pounds, he's the first person to sing the praises of WLS. He's still a huge jerk and will soon be my EX, but he did come around on that issue. Don't let your hubby keep you from doing this for you!

[ArcusX 216]

Yeah, my wife isn't especially supportive either. Nothing snide, but I can tell there are some insecurities there. Not sure how that's going to go...

[Nicolanz 1,484]

Thanks to everyone for the support! Just thought I'd update. Since surgery, my husband has been great! I think he was super scared about me going to MX and having surgery and blamed money instead of expressing emotions. When I came home his attitude totally changed. And now that I'm 23 pounds down, he can't keep his hands off of me and compliments me all the time! I'm so happy I stood my ground and went ahead with the surgery. I was so serious about this that I probably would have left him if he gave me an ultimatum.

[angeliiz80 38]

Less than four weeks from surgery and my husband makes a snide remark about me spending so much money on an unnecessary surgery. I'm sick......the one person I need support from won't give it to me. He's tall and skinny and will never understand. If I even try to explain I can feel him judging me. Thinking I'm lazy with no self control. He doesn't know that my weight is the source of everything I can't do. It's on my mind 24/7 and has been since my earliest memory. I have been overweight all of my life. I have NEVER felt good about myself. I want to be normal. I want it so bad it hurts. He just doesn't care. I'm going through with it anyway....and I refuse to let him make me feel guilty about it. Right now I am choosing me.

I'm sorry my husband is also not as supportive as I had hoped. He is a Marine so he is in shape and has never struggled with being more than 10 lbs overweight and also thinks that I could have done it without the surgery. It's hard I dieted, I exercised and after losing 35 lbs plateaued got frustrated gained it back and did that over and over. I wanted a second chance and here it is. If he isn't going to support me then I will come here for support from people that understand what it's like. Keep up the good work when you are hot & skinny ;*) he will change his tune.

[MrsGina 101]

It took my husband a while to come around, but he finally did. My problem is, his sister. She thinks because I have been losing on the pre diet that I can just keep it up. Well the surgery is my motivation for now, would I stick with it if I didn't have that motivation? And I know I'm accountable to my doctor and dietician. At least the surgery would keep me in check.

I finally have come to the conclusion that its my body and my decision!

[stokesmommy 45]

My husband is supportive, how ever since surgery he has said on a few occasions that once I get surgery he thinks I will just leave him. He to is obese and wants to have the surgery. I just reassure him. Maybe your husband is supportive just worried. Or is really a huge chubby chaser and is insure our he will feel if your to skinny.

[hayescat 5]

Mrsgina that sounds exactly like what my mom said to me...."if you lose 20 lbs on the liquid diet, maybe you won't need the surgery"... So frustrating! Really 20 lbs what about the other 70 I need to lose after that, do you think I can stay on a liquid diet forever?!?! Thank God my husband supports me.