No support from friends.

[Koala 0]

If you had any other medical condition, would the same people tell you that sheer willpower would cure it? Would they expect you to forego medical help and tough it out so that you could be proud of beating the problem on your own?

I'd just bet most of us heard this same talk in one form or another from one person or another before we were banded.

I heard it put this way one time:

If you take the blame out of the equation, what you have left is a serious medical condition. For any other serious condition, you'd seek medical intervention. It really is that simple.

Support is nice, but if it isn't there in the beginning, you may find it comes later on as your success makes it impossible to stand by the sidelines naysaying.

Ultimately, this weight battle is an individual battle of such proportions over 90% of those who lose the weight regain every pound. It isn't a battle someone else can talk us into winning. Though the weight problem is a very public outcome of the inner battle, the battle is ours alone to fight.

My band is changing my life. Every pound that comes off is taking one step closer to health. I chose it. I had the courage to go through the operation. I'm choosing the foods I put in my mouth. My success is just as sweet with the band as it would be without the band. The only difference is that, this time, I know it won't be a temporary win.

[indianlight 0]

I must say that i thought i was alone with unsupportive friends...

I made my decision alone, went on that long journey of assessment without telling anyone, it was my decsiion and i had to be ok wiht it and certain before telling anyone, I knew they would all have comments to make!!

After i was on the waiting list I told my parents, who although surprised were suportive, I then told a few very close friends who all said 'if this is what you want then go for it' so i felt fine ...

THEN!! I've lost 46lbs and those supportive friends (who actually are both obese) dont even acknowledge my weight loss, I can tell them ive lost 6lbs to their face and they dont even respond the best I get is if I say im happy with my loss, 'I bet you are' thats my supportive friends!!

However, although this hurts initially i can see it for what it is..their insecurity!! you see for years although theyve been big ive been bigger...and therefore made them feel better about themselves!! but not for much longer...

So Ive decided I will take my support where I can get it...my parents, a few friends and my lovely support system here!!

In conclusion (sorry to waffle), is go for it, nobody knows ourselves like us and only we can make this decision, I have no regrets about doing this only wish i'd done it years ago and if i lose a few friends on the way, then I'l be sad butthey obviously werent meant to be....lol

[raynie 0]

Sheri, I wil be your friend! *hugs* The world can be so cruel! It sounds as if the people around you are just jealous!

I read about Lap Band for the first time in the middle of Sept! My surgery date is on Oct 26th with Dr. Ortiz. thats how serious I want it! I am self pay too! I researched for everyday, and I still am. This site is wonderful! I feel fully confident that after my surgery if I have questions or complications that I can always just come here and be taken care of.

I told my husband first- hehe years ago we had a friend who was overweight and she went and had the full gastric surgery done. I found out on my bacholerette party (ms) I felt so mad! Here I am about to get married and you walk in and steal the show about your surgery- That I so wanted to have done! *chuckles* I was so jealous and sad and angry. I felt totally low self esteem. But my husband told me he would never let me get that surgery, not ever! I secretly agreed that it did sound awful! So I put it in the past. Well here I am 3 years later and found Lap Band. Geez, I wont even go into details, everyone already knows how much better it is. Just being reversable procedure is enough! hehe

So I told my honey, and he was at first like no way! after a few hours of talking and showing him the research he was ok with it. then I told him I was getting it done in Mexico! He hit the roof! No way in hell again, etc. And he is Mexican! Ha! So, I had to prove to him why I had to go there. First, our ins wont cover the cost. And i refuse to pay over $10,000. second, my hubby said, ok we will switch ins and find one tht will cover the surgery. Geez! I cried. No way in hell can I wait prolly a year to go thru all that. I see that US docs, require so much more then mexican docs. I cant wait that long. I told my husband, I already wasted 30 years, i need to do this now. I want to get pregnant again someday, and I am already 30. Waiting another year, then waiting another 2 years too concive after the surgery, is risky too me. I dont want to risk any birth defects due to my age, etc.

So then I get my Hubby to agree this was good idea. So he starts getting the process going with the funds. The day we got apprved fr our home equity loan (alot cheaper way to go then those finance ordeals posted by the docs), guess what he did? he made me feel like crap, after going thru all that stuff and we agreed it was good. He was like if I give this $10,000 in cash, just think of all the things we could do with it! A new car, plasma tv... trip, etc. I couldnt believe him telling me this. I cried. He isnt overweight and has no clue what its like! He said " I just gave you $1500 in may for a personal trainer. And you took it seriously for a few weeks, then gave up. If you go back then I am sure you could loose weight on your own. You just didnt try hard enough. Ugh!!! Now- I didnt mind eating healthy at all! And still due, its the freaking portions sizes that screws me up everytime! It amazes me still to this day as too what society views food as a portion. No matter how much I loose I will always battle with that forever. I am serious! So this tool is going to be a miracle for me! even though it is only a tool!

So I ended up booking my surgery, after convincing my husband that if he gave me $10,000 in cash, I would still get the surgery. Even though I know if i wait a year it could be covered by ins. Ha! A year from now who knows how fatter I will be!

So then I tell my mom! She is so happy that she wanted to do it with me, but cant afford to. She is getting the full gastric surgery done by the VA, so hers is free. But she is scarred. Anyways my mom is coming with me to TJ, Thank God! i love my mom for that. I paid for all her plane tickets already. She lives in Ohio and I live in Cali. Another reason why I dont mind having my surgery done in TJ is beacuse I live pretty close and can go back there for all my fills. No problem there.

So the I tell my inlaws- and spill the whole 'this surgery is safe even though its in TJ" spill all over again. My Father in Law- a real health nut, says "well something has to be done!" heha..... so i have there support.

So next on to telling my friends- Erin and Big Joe! They said it was all good, even though I dont need it! ( aww how swet of them) So I tell em its in mexico, and they freaked out! HA! Again, i have the its safe spill again- so now its all good.

We went out to my favorite strip club on Saturday to Celebrate my last, meal, smokes, and alcohol binge! it was a blast! I even got a lap dance by the most beautiful girl ever! And yes, I was touching her all over and it felt great! All I kept thinking is Damn she is so hot! In a year from now- I hope I can attempt to look as good as her! And to move and dance like that is amazing! I can only look forward to that in my bedroom someday- to turn on my husband like that with a gorgeous body! That was my motivation! I have been always fascinated with beautiful womens bodies, but know maybe i have a chance to have one myself!

I am scarred that this wont work too. Geez but paying $10,000 ... crap something better fall off of me! rofl

So thats my story summed up. And I will be your band buddy! *hugs*

~Raynie!

[jojo41 0]

When a fat person loses weight it really "weeds" out the true friends doesn't it.

I chose not to tell anyone about my surgery except my husband and kids, this was for a couple of reasons.

1. I didn't want to set myself up for failure.....AGAIN.

2. I didn't want any judgements from family and friends.

In the last 10 weeks I've lost 31lbs and have noticed some "friends" looking at me with that "damn...she's lost weight" look but they haven't commented on it. The funny thing is they are all slim women.....could it be that slim women can't stand the extra competition when a "fattie" loses weight????:guess

The only friend who has commented is a larger lady and she was so sweet about my weight loss that I really wanted to tell her about my surgery but had to bite my tongue.

Maybe when I reach my goal weight I will tell people about my surgery but right now I just feel I don't need that extra pressure.

[libra 13]

Ugh, If one more person says the band is the "easy way out" I'm gonna vomit. (oh wait, I have a band, I mean PB!!)

This is not easy by any means. The choice to have LapBand surgery is so we don't have to deal with the yo-yo crap anymore!!! I don't ever want to have "fat clothes" again!!!

I can't understand how "friends" can make such comments.:phanvan

[coltonwade 27]

Ugh, If one more person says the band is the "easy way out" I'm gonna vomit. (oh wait, I have a band, I mean PB!!)

This is not easy by any means. The choice to have LapBand surgery is so we don't have to deal with the yo-yo crap anymore!!! I don't ever want to have "fat clothes" again!!!

I can't understand how "friends" can make such comments.:phanvan

I totally agree and I dont have the band yet. If i hear "easy" way out yet im going to vomit. I have told some people that i barely know , for instance , I clean houses to save money for the surgery . Those people I clean houses for all KNOW why im cleaning houses ( It kind of came up accidently) I can tell you THOSE People were MORE INTERESTED and MORE Supportive than my "Friends" . SO IRRITATING.

Mindy