male only Men: Telling "the Guys" About Your Surgery

[iggychic 1,405]

Lloyd' date=' PdX, Butter, Longhorn, et al,

Appreciate the comments and advice. I'm glad most posters understood that yes, these are good friends, and good friends do bust each others balls -- constantly. And yes, they WILL notice I'm not drinking. Not sure though if I'm gonna mention surgery or just maintain that I've committed to a healthier lifestyle (no lie there).

That being said, I certainly will follow Justine's advice and prepare my comebacks and one-liners and plan on using them early and often.

P.S. Longhorn: Thanks for making me snort Protein shake out my nose. Hope to catch you at the next Jonas Brothers concert![/quote']

Pssstttt....girls give each other chit as well.

I was going to go with the "healthier lifestyle blah blah blah) with everyone, even the gals I hang out with regularly with bottles of wine and as I got into the prediet and closer to the surgery, I realized that I couldn't lie to them. They wanted to make dinner dates, lunch dates, etc, and I couldn't because I knew I wouldn't be able to eat. Then I'd constantly have to lie about it....honestly, thats not the way to go.

So I took the group of them and we went on a beach hike with some cheese and champagne (a girls version of beer and wings) and told them I was having the surgery. Deer in the headlights They are all thin. They have only known me for a few years so they don't know that I was always thin up to eight years ago as well. I got lots of questions, some ribbing, and then their support after I guaranteed them it was basically risk free.

Then I had the risk free surgery and nearly died. I'll tell you one thing...they were all there for me and my family and I'm not sure if that would have been the same if I'd have lied to them or not told them.

And a little secret....it takes some serious balls to have this surgery...I bought mine on the internet

[OneManWolfpack 180]

Pssstttt....girls give each other chit as well.

And a little secret....it takes some serious balls to have this surgery...I bought mine on the internet

LOL! Iggy, you are welcome in the Man Room anytime!

BTW, I read your story (The One I Didn't Want to But Should)... and I'm so sorry for all you went through, and I'm really glad you're around to share with us and give us "chit!"

[Parker's Dad 50]

LMAO!! PDX is correct. This is sometimes how guys are. Not bad, just the way it is... let me see your vagina!

Seriously. I have only told one but it was good because he has been sleeved as well, otherwise we would have had one of these conversations more than likely. Some of my friends would be supportive, some supportive with a ton of questions, and some of them would have the smart @$$ed comments. That is what I would expect just to be honest. Anything different from some of them and I would start to wander just how blown away they were. I am sure that some of the ladies reading this thnk we are nothing but a bunch of beer drinking, burping, farting barbarions but MOST of us really aren't, it's just the way some start conversations. You won't hear do you like my new shoes, how about this shade of lipstick, or do these pants make my @$$ look big!! It's usually the intro into what become understood serious conversations. The ones that care are gonna listen from the start or give you a little ribbing and then listen. Anyone else can fly a kite otherwise... Guys will relate.

[bigsleeve56 266]

Just tell them your knocked up and you have to go have the baby c section cause you do not have a vagina.

[iggychic 1,405]

LOL! Iggy' date=' you are welcome in the Man Room anytime!

BTW, I read your story (The One I Didn't Want to But Should)... and I'm so sorry for all you went through, and I'm really glad you're around to share with us and give us "chit!" [/quote']

Lol thanks. I always have enjoyed hanging with the boys on occasion .

I'm glad you read that. I can tell these are actually your friends or you wouldn't care if you told them or not. After my experience I learned that there are some things you probably can't....and maybe shouldn't, hide from people you spend time with/care about.

My 6 year old told everyone though so my secret damn near made the news lol though he did tell most that I was in the hospital getting my tummy fixed so I could make him a sister (at 49....ummmmm NO) so I think some are still comfused as to why I am losing weight but my baby tummy isn't growing lol.

[iggychic 1,405]

Just tell them your knocked up and you have to go have the baby c section cause you do not have a vagina.

Thats already been done...he has to go with something more original.

How about the "if it lasts more than four hours seek medical attention" line we hear on tv now a days? Or is admitting a limp dohickie and a little blue pill worse than going straight vagina?

Do you know how hard that was to write within the rules lmao?

[Butterthebean 8,146]

Thats already been done...he has to go with something more original.

How about the "if it lasts more than four hours seek medical attention" line we hear on tv now a days? Or is admitting a limp dohickie and a little blue pill worse than going straight vagina?

Do you know how hard that was to write within the rules lmao?

Are you kidding? I got friends who keep their little blue pills in Speed Racer pez dispensers on their key chains. No shame whatsoever....in fact it's like bragging that they are getting some.

[pdubbaya23 64]

Honestly Dude Im going to put it like this. I haven't told my friends yet either. not becasue of what they would say but I just haven't. but when time comes for me to tell them, Im going to put it all on the table and you know what I have to back it up with? I am 4 months post op. I feel better than I have in at least 20 Years. I have dropped 4 maybe 5 pant sizes. the sex is better than has been in my 11 years of marriage. Im like a porn start dude and my wife can't get enough of it, son. and the morning wood is something serious. your woman will wake up to a sweet surprise. So let your friends throw insults, in a few months, you'll be throwing something else.....Im done. TMI? I don't care cause its real.

[Ready4success 380]

Honestly Dude Im going to put it like this. I haven't told my friends yet either. not becasue of what they would say but I just haven't. but when time comes for me to tell them' date=' Im going to put it all on the table and you know what I have to back it up with? I am 4 months post op. I feel better than I have in at least 20 Years. I have dropped 4 maybe 5 pant sizes. the sex is better than has been in my 11 years of marriage. Im like a porn start dude and my wife can't get enough of it, son. and the morning wood is something serious. your woman will wake up to a sweet surprise. So let your friends throw insults, in a few months, you'll be throwing something else.....Im done. TMI? I don't care cause its real.[/quote']

Lol, that was pretty original.

[Geeewhy 30]

Your friends sound a lot like my friends, and I struggled with whether or not to tell them I finally did while playing poker one night, about 2 weeks before the date. One of them said "What... you mean you're not pregnant?", another said "Well it's about time, you fat %$#*" - he can say that because even at 465 lbs, he was heavier than me, and another guy said something about being pissed, because he had me in the "dead pool" and was sure he was going to win, so I said something about sex with his sister and we all laughed. In the end, all of my friends have been supportive and helpful along the way. To a man they are all proud of me for taking this step, and the guy that was bigger than me is scheduled for surgery in November. In retrospect, I'm very glad I told them, because I would hate for something to have happened to me while I was being operated on, and them to have to hear from someone else.

i say tell them and just be prepared to give as good as you get.

[shaferb 1]

I am 30 months out. I went from 346 to 203. At 346, when I made my decision, I told my friends that my life was changing due to my weight so I decided to take control and have a VSG. They understood and were mostly supportive. A few doubters of course. Weight has hardly changed in the last year. I enjoy exercise. Support from my friends was only a minor part of my choice. Hang tough and be the man you really want to be regardless of "friends" comments. Good luck.

[aroundhky 1,174]

My friend Scott asked me (after not having seen me in 2-3 months).... "Man! You are looking really trim! What have you been doing?" I just came right out and told him that I had surgery and still working my a$$ off in the gym. He seemed genuinely happy for me and actually came back later with questions from his mom who is considering the srugery. Not that it was a test or anything, but I knew he was a longtime friend and I fugured if he was still a friend, he'd be happy for me...which he is. All of my family knows and a co-worker. Other people I know and don't really care about....I really try to just avoid the whole conversation with them. Not that I don't want them to know, it's just a REALLY long story and I don't really like talking to them anyway.

[cantw8t2bme 24]

From a girl with lots of guy friends they will support you and their jokes are bc they have to be macho plus now they can drink your share of the beer when you can't and dont forget bringing new girls around if your single post surgery...all a win/win for them

Ladies its just like moms vs dads...a child falls down mom runs to comfort dad says get up and keep going goof ball (pending seriousness) its how they cope just like how we cope.

Overall funny post & im sure your buddies got your back otherwise they wouldn't be watching football with you anyways!

[Atraeu 5]

I am 11 months out and struggled with what to say and to whom I say it to. I am a very private person anyway so I didn't have a lot of people on the tell list. The first person was a friend of mine that needed the surgery way more than me. He sort of gnarled at it and told me good luck. 11 months later and 100 lbs lighter this same friend is in the process of getting sleeved.

My next friend I told will need the surgery in the next year or so. He asked the typical questions of "you can't loose on your own". It will be fair to say that we used to be exercise fanatics in the early 2000's. but, that was then and this is now. He said he would never do it and didn't understand why I should. No other conversation about it has come up. However, I see him continue to struggle to "loose on his own".

Bottom line most guys will give you grief and rag you but in my experience they come around.

[Capt Derel 287]

I just didnt give a rats ass who knew. Women/men either ask questions or look at you like your a cheater. If I am a cheater f;)$ it. I am normal sized now. Nothing can change that. But these same people go out with you to a resturant and watch you eat off your kids and wifes plate and get full enough to puke off of 4 bites and you sit there rubbing your stomach saying god damn. I cant eat another bite "wiping your forehead" and they glare at you and they look into their plate and mentally state to theirselves " I must be a pig". Lol. I mess with my friends big time. Your going to eat all that? Thats like 5 meals for me.

Peoples gonna talk. Its up to you on how it will affect you personally. Turn the negativity around on them lol